{"id":31889,"date":"2016-05-12T08:00:44","date_gmt":"2016-05-12T15:00:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=31889"},"modified":"2016-05-11T15:09:54","modified_gmt":"2016-05-11T22:09:54","slug":"self-care-in-relationships-creating-me-time-within-a-we","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/self-care-in-relationships-creating-me-time-within-we-0512165","title":{"rendered":"Self-Care in Relationships: Creating \u2018Me\u2019 Time Within a \u2018We\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"ManIn today\u2019s busy society, where everyone is scrambling to find time for (fill-in-the-blank activity\/ person), it can be challenging to carve out time that\u2019s entirely for you. However, the value of having\u00a0time for yourself cannot be measured. Within a romantic relationship<\/a>, ensuring each person still has a sense of \u201cme\u201d can lead to stronger and more fulfilling experiences of \u201cwe.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why \u2018Me\u2019 Time Is Important<\/h2>\n

Think back to when you entered your relationship. Remember that<\/em> you? Chances are the friends you had and the experiences you engaged in were among the factors that drew your partner in, at least a little.<\/p>\n

Having individual experiences can be as valuable to the relationship as shared experiences. Leaving room to allow yourself to go out and experience life without always having your partner at your side leaves you with an opportunity to share your new experiences, ideas, and thoughts when you and your partner reengage.<\/p>\n

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Find a Therapist for Relationships<\/a><\/h2>\n\t
\n\n\t\t\t\t\n\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\tAdvanced Search<\/a>\n\t<\/form>\n<\/div>\n

Challenges to \u2018Me\u2019 Time<\/h2>\n

Holding on to and expressing your individuality can be particularly challenging in codependent<\/a> relationships where one partner feels like they have limited autonomy and control or that they have a controlling\/demanding partner. If you find you encounter guilty feelings<\/a>\/thoughts or your partner becomes angry<\/a> or resentful<\/a> when you shift into \u201cme\u201d time, it might be wise to examine your relationship more closely. Maintaining a sense of self<\/a> and engaging in activities independent of the partnership can be difficult even in healthy relationships, but having intense negative reactions to exploring activities outside of the relationship may be a sign it is moving into an unhealthy space.<\/p>\n

\u2018Me\u2019 Still Respects the \u2018We\u2019<\/h2>\n

Making space for your individuality within your relationship does not mean you are exiting or avoiding the relationship. \u201cMe\u201d time should not be used as a method to escape difficult conversations or issues coming up in the relationship. If you find you are using alone time to escape, you might try reflecting on how your habits may be markers of unresolved issues and how you might become more present to tackle difficult moments.<\/p>\n

Good \u201cme\u201d time respects the partnership and your partner by avoiding engagement in activities that may harm or disrupt the relationship or foster distrust<\/a>. \u201cMe\u201d time can allow you to reconnect with what\u2019s important to you and<\/em> can be used to enhance the connection you have with your partner.<\/p>\n

How to Make \u2018Me\u2019 Time<\/h2>\n

Schedule it! Your own time needs to be as important to you as your best friend\u2019s birthday party or your partner\u2019s promotion celebration. Let it live in your calendar and carry the same weight as other important plans.<\/p>\n

When you live with your partner, finding time to be alone can become even more challenging. Speak with your partner and find ways to carve out physical and mental space for yourself to do things you enjoy doing\u2014say, reading or working on puzzles.<\/p>\n

Below are 20 ways to carve out time for yourself. See how many more you can come up with, then go about picking dates on the calendar to put them into place.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Set aside 30 to 45 minutes after work to do something YOU want to do.<\/li>\n
  2. Take a walk or a run by yourself.<\/li>\n
  3. Plan a date with your friends.<\/li>\n
  4. Plan a date night for yourself.<\/li>\n
  5. Tackle a hobby off your hobby list.<\/li>\n
  6. Spend time journaling without interruption.<\/li>\n
  7. Take a solo vacation.<\/li>\n
  8. Treat yourself to a spa day.<\/li>\n
  9. Exercise on your own.<\/li>\n
  10. Call a friend you\u2019ve been meaning to catch up with.<\/li>\n
  11. Go hear live music.<\/li>\n
  12. Go on a hike.<\/li>\n
  13. Take a long drive.<\/li>\n
  14. Go to a movie or museum.<\/li>\n
  15. Go to a cultural event.<\/li>\n
  16. Go shopping.<\/li>\n
  17. Engage in an academic pursuit.<\/li>\n
  18. Set up an individual counseling appointment<\/a> to learn more about yourself.<\/li>\n
  19. Find a TV series to watch.<\/li>\n
  20. Explore an online meet-up group that matches your interests.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Making time for yourself is as important in the context of your relationship as it was while you were single. Here’s why “me” time matters in a “we” dynamic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2965,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[542],"tags":[31,25,41,47],"class_list":["post-31889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured-articles","tag-psychotherapy-practice","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-marriage-counseling-relationships","tag-self-care"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2965"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31889"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31889\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}