{"id":31082,"date":"2016-04-11T06:00:41","date_gmt":"2016-04-11T13:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=31082"},"modified":"2017-10-20T11:39:28","modified_gmt":"2017-10-20T18:39:28","slug":"3-red-flags-youre-about-to-make-a-decision-youll-regret","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/3-red-flags-youre-about-to-make-decision-youll-regret-0411164","title":{"rendered":"3 Red Flags You’re About to Make a Decision You’ll Regret"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>\"Young<\/a>We make decisions every day, throughout the day. In fact, we make so many decisions we often don\u2019t even see<\/em> them as decisions. Decisions we\u2019ve made over and over eventually turn into habits<\/a>. Although we often think of habits as bad, it\u2019s important to see them as a set of decisions that simply don\u2019t need much, if any, conscious thought to perform them. Brush our teeth. Put on our shoes. Eat breakfast or skip it. All of these mundane tasks are still choices, still decisions we make.<\/p>\n

All too often, we make decisions based on faulty information, peer pressure, and impulsivity. In this article, I\u2019d like to highlight some red-flag behaviors that increase our chances of feeling regret<\/a> about our decisions. I\u2019ll also offer some suggestions on how to avoid these red flags.<\/p>\n

Red Flag: Decisions Based on Other People\u2019s Wishes<\/h2>\n

Literally from birth, we find ourselves surrounded by other people and their wants, expectations, and fears<\/a>. We come into this world already shadowed by built-up beliefs about how we should<\/em> be, according to cultural and socioeconomic factors,\u00a0parental\u00a0expectations,\u00a0our\u00a0gender<\/a>, and on and on. It\u2019s no wonder we often feel pressured to be and do other than what resonates with our truth.<\/p>\n

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Because of the pressure to fit in and to please, we can find ourselves making decisions that don\u2019t align with our highest good. From small decisions, like drinking at the party, to life-altering decisions, like getting married, our surroundings impact what we choose to pursue. When we\u00a0make decisions from the fear of being judged and\/or rejected<\/a>, we doom ourselves to this people-pleasing brand of decision making.<\/p>\n

So apart from moving to the woods and shunning society, how do we combat this monstrous impact on our decision making? We begin by reframing the nature of making decisions. At their core, decisions express our humanness. They express the gift of our free will. Although we are definitely animals, we are a unique form of animal with the option to move beyond our limitations.<\/p>\n

Moving into a place where we make decisions based on our own wants and wishes requires us to know ourselves. Not possessing intimate knowledge of our core value system inevitably leads to a \u201cfollow the herd\u201d mentality. This ultimately leads to frustration and resentment<\/a>.<\/p>\n

A simple exercise to acquaint yourself with your values<\/a> is to simply ask the following questions about everything you choose. (Yes, everything.)<\/p>\n