{"id":30048,"date":"2015-12-15T06:00:30","date_gmt":"2015-12-15T14:00:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=30048"},"modified":"2017-05-23T17:46:49","modified_gmt":"2017-05-24T00:46:49","slug":"how-to-improve-communication-with-effective-listening-skills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/how-to-improve-communication-with-effective-listening-skills-1215157","title":{"rendered":"How to Improve Communication with Effective Listening Skills"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"A<\/a>Effective and meaningful communication is vital to human growth and function. However, the 21st century\u2019s emphasis on speed has often produced quick results at the expense of quality and durability. These days we want our food faster and our coffee in an instant. Communication, like many other facets of human life, has been affected by our need for speed. The push for instant gratification has seen the rise of instant messaging. While getting the word out quickly does have its benefits, too often we focus solely on what we say rather than what we hear.<\/p>\n

Why Listening Well Is So Important<\/strong><\/h2>\n

A poll of 100 mental health professionals revealed communication problems<\/a> is the most often cited contributing factor for divorce<\/a> (65%). When considering divorce, 56% of women said their husband\u2019s lack of listening was among their top communication complaints.<\/p>\n

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Find a Therapist<\/a><\/h2>\n\t
\n\n\t\t\t\n\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\tAdvanced Search<\/a>\n\t<\/form>\n<\/div>Good listening skills can foster good communication and minimize misunderstandings. While other common relationship<\/a> concerns—such as lack of emotional support, inability to resolve conflict, financial stress, and unfulfilled expectations—are serious issues within their own right, the application of good listening skills often means that many interpersonal conflicts may either be resolved more easily or avoided completely.<\/p>\n

There are occasions when some conflicts become explosive and the situation may progress far more quickly than expected. In these circumstances, it may be important to slow down and listen. Listening well allows you to accurately gauge the situation from the other party\u2019s perspective, discover the other party\u2019s true concerns or needs, and respond in a manner that may quell the emotionally heated exchange. Poor listening skills, however, often contribute to poor communication.<\/p>\n

Types of Listening Skills<\/strong><\/h2>\n

In an effort to become a better communicator, learning and practicing different types of listening skills may be necessary. In many cases, we listen in order to learn facts, uncover emotions<\/a>, or analyze a particular issue. Of course, the type of listening skill you choose to employ at a particular time will depend greatly on the setting, the audience, and your communication goals. After considering your circumstances closely, you may decide to use one of these types of listening:<\/p>\n

Active listening<\/a><\/strong> \u2013 This skill encourages the listener to focus his or her full attention on the speaker. It involves repeating what the listener believes the speaker said, but in the listener\u2019s own words. The listener may also express his or her understanding of the speaker\u2019s psychological response to the situation. For example, an active listener may say \u201cI understand you are upset that I borrowed your notes without asking.\u201d The speaker may then confirm or clarify the listener\u2019s understanding.<\/p>\n

When listening, you may sometimes become distracted by your own thoughts. Perhaps you may be overly concerned about what you are going to say in response, or you may believe you already know what the speaker is about to say. However, active listening involves setting aside judgment during the listening process and using nonverbal communication<\/a>—such as facial expressions, gestures, and other forms of body language—to show the speaker that complete attention is being paid to his or her message.<\/p>\n

Reflective listening<\/strong> \u2013 This strategy is often confused with active listening as it too involves giving the speaker undivided attention, using nonverbal cues, and asking questions in order to confirm ideas or provide further clarification. However, while active listening encourages the listener to express what he or she thinks the speaker says or feels, reflective listening encourages the listener to reflect or mirror the speaker\u2019s psychology and emotions so the speaker feels as if he or she is being listened to.<\/p>\n

The goal of reflective listening is to provide support while trying to understand the speaker\u2019s perspective. This approach can be crucial to maintaining romantic, business, and social ties as it demonstrates sensitivity to the speaker\u2019s emotions.<\/p>\n

Key points to remember during reflective listening include:<\/p>\n