You are not alone\u00e2\u20ac\u201dnot everybody loves the holidays, and plenty of people hate them. Thanksgiving is\u00c2\u00a0only round one. Not long after, you get socked with a real haymaker, the endgame (literally, December)\u00e2\u20ac\u201dChristmas or Kwanzaa or Hanukkah or whatever version of party-on you choose \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 or that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been chosen for you, I suppose.<\/p>\n
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Not to mention\u00c2\u00a0it gets really dark really early now and, depending where you live, perhaps freezing cold and snowy.\u00c2\u00a0The celebrations you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t feel part of, plus the longer nights, the light deprivation, and the crappy weather, can cause emotional and physiological reactions that\u00c2\u00a0make you feel even worse.<\/p>\n
A lot of people struggle with the commercialization of the season as well; many stores set up holiday displays and started piping in seasonal music before summer was out! For many people, the significance of the holidays, or what they’re supposed to stand for, is lost in the hustle and bustle.<\/p>\n
No, you are not a terrible person for feeling down this time of year. A great many people feel depressed<\/a> and stressed<\/a> and lonely<\/a> and grief-stricken<\/a> and resentful<\/a> this time of year.\u00c2\u00a0It may seem like everybody else is celebrating with special loved ones and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not, and you may feel all alone and, worse, obligated to join celebrations you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t feel are for you. But remember, not everyone has family, not everyone has family they want to spend time with, and not all families have learned to put aside the family drama<\/a> and just let everybody have a good time together.<\/p>\n There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a store near where I live. Every year about this time, they put a sign in their window: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sharpen your knives for the holidays.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a hardware store, so I read it literally\u00e2\u20ac\u201dbring in your knives and we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll sharpen them right up. But for what? I always wonder. Are those knives for slicing up turkey and ham or for self-defense? Do we kind of feel like turkeys and hams, sitting around the big table with all those relatives we have nothing to say to and who don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like us much either?<\/p>\n No, you are not a terrible person for feeling down this time of year. A great many people feel depressed and stressed and lonely and grief-stricken and resentful this time of year. <\/span><\/p>\n Do you have to see your family? Spending time with friends instead can be enjoyable. Would you feel guilty<\/a> if you did that?<\/p>\n Put aside for a moment family obligations. What would YOU like to do? What would make YOU happy? Some reflection on why, specifically, the holidays are so rough for you may help guide you as you search for ways to get through them.\u00c2\u00a0Any form of self-care<\/a>\u00c2\u00a0might\u00c2\u00a0do. You deserve to feel taken care of, even if it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s you doing the caretaking.<\/p>\n Forget, for a moment, everyone else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s expectations of you\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwhich are probably based on the expectations others have of them, anyway. What are YOUR expectations, both of yourself and of others? The weight of feeling like you have to meet someone else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s expectations can add to heaviness of the holidays. Know what matters to you and strive for that, first and foremost.<\/p>\n On the other hand, how long do the holidays last? Two dinners together can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t last longer than, say, twelve hours all together? Six hours each, maybe? Of course, in some families, even that much time can feel like an eternity. It may be that you have to set boundaries in order to ensure that your needs are met. This could mean limiting your exposure to family gatherings or festivities in whatever way makes them manageable or palatable. Two hours per event? Three? A $10 limit per gift? No gifts? Whatever you decide, no guilt necessary; you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re simply doing what you need to do.<\/p>\n