{"id":29547,"date":"2015-10-15T08:00:04","date_gmt":"2015-10-15T15:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=29547"},"modified":"2017-08-11T12:46:13","modified_gmt":"2017-08-11T19:46:13","slug":"we-need-to-talk-about-domestic-violence-in-our-communities","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/we-need-to-talk-about-domestic-violence-in-our-communities-1015155","title":{"rendered":"We Need to Talk about Domestic Violence in Our Communities"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"brokenOctober is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The more we talk about domestic violence<\/a>, the more likely it becomes that we build awareness, identify abusive behaviors, and take action to prevent harm to people in our communities who may be family, friends, neighbors, or coworkers.<\/p>\n

So let\u2019s talk about it.<\/p>\n

What Is Domestic Violence?<\/h2>\n

Let\u2019s start by talking about what domestic violence is and is not. We can define domestic violence as a pattern of behaviors used by one person in a relationship to exert power<\/a> and control<\/a> over the other person in that relationship.<\/p>\n

Domestic violence is not a \u201crelationship problem\u201d or a \u201crough patch\u201d in a relationship. It is ongoing. It is a pattern of behavior that tends to begin with something seemingly minor, which then escalates over time and becomes increasingly dangerous in nature.<\/p>\n

The cycle of abuse typically begins when tension builds and the abusive person becomes angry<\/a>. Some form of abusive behavior follows\u2014it could be name calling, it could be throwing a dinner plate, or it could be any number of other actions. After the abusive incident, there may be a “honeymoon” or make-up phase in which the abusive person apologizes, promises to change, and\/or swears the abuse will never happen again. The honeymoon phase is typically followed up by a time of calm in which the abusive person and possibly even the victim behave as if\u00a0the abuse never happened.<\/p>\n

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Types of Abuse<\/h2>\n

Domestic violence exists in various forms, but the common thread among them\u00a0is the aim to maintain power and control. Abuse may take the form of physical<\/a>, sexual<\/a>, emotional<\/a>, financial, spiritual, or stalking<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Technological abuse is becoming increasingly common as well. Technological abuse may include the abusive person posting pictures online of the victim or sending threats via text message or email. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, a woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds in the United States. The Coalition also reports that one in three women and one in four men is physically abused by an intimate partner, with the most common occurrence of domestic violence victimization found in women between the ages of 18 and 24.<\/p>\n

Effects of Abuse<\/h2>\n

Abuse can have a variety of effects on the victim, children in the home, and on the community. Long-term effects of abuse on the victim differ from one person to another and may include flashbacks, panic attacks<\/a>, anxiety<\/a>, trouble sleeping<\/a>, broken bones, head trauma, low self-esteem<\/a>, eating disorders<\/a>, depression<\/a>, suicide ideation<\/a>, and chronic pain<\/a>.<\/p>\n

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, a woman is assaulted or beaten every nine seconds in the United States.<\/span><\/p>\n

Children who are exposed to domestic violence also respond in different ways and may show symptoms that vary by age. Infants may be easily irritated<\/a>, difficult to soothe, and exhibit continuous fussiness or crying. Toddlers may use profanity, have frequent nightmares<\/a>, show meanness toward others, or seem to not know how to play. Some children may bully<\/a> other children, earn low grades, be unable to complete homework or other tasks, show an inability to follow directions, or even show regressive behaviors such as thumb sucking or bed-wetting.<\/p>\n

Teens who witness or experience violence in the home may show aggressive or violent behavior<\/a> toward others, develop depression or anxiety, isolate<\/a>, or engage in self-destructive behavior. They may also engage in obsessive-compulsive behaviors<\/a> or appear to be overachieving and perfectionistic<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Domestic violence also impacts the community as a public health problem. It reduces productivity in the workplace<\/a>. Many victims miss work because of abuse-related injuries or because of fear<\/a> that the person abusing them will know where to find them. Victimization is also associated with costs for hospital care, emergency room visits, physician care, dental care, ambulance transport, physical therapy, and mental health care. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that the total health care cost associated with domestic violence each year is nearly $4.1 billion.<\/p>\n

Why Victims Stay<\/h2>\n

A recent online campaign known as #WhyIStayed became popular among domestic violence survivors following a widely publicized incident involving then-NFL player Ray Rice knocking his then-fianc\u00e9e (now wife) unconscious in an elevator. Instead of focusing on why someone would hit a partner, many in the media and on the Internet asked, \u201cWhy would she stay with someone who abuses her?\u201d Survivors took to social media to share their stories about what kept them in abusive relationships<\/a>.<\/p>\n

People may have many reasons for staying with an abusive partner, including:<\/p>\n