{"id":28966,"date":"2015-08-13T06:00:02","date_gmt":"2015-08-13T13:00:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=28966"},"modified":"2017-08-28T11:43:30","modified_gmt":"2017-08-28T18:43:30","slug":"when-a-pet-dies-how-to-help-your-child-through-their-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/how-to-help-your-child-through-grief-0813154","title":{"rendered":"When a Pet Dies: How to Help Your Child through Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"WorriesLast week, our cat died. Frodo was a stray tomcat we took in 11 years ago. We weren\u2019t sure about his age, though we’re guessing he lived to be about 14 years old.\u00a0He didn\u2019t show any signs of illness, and while I knew he was old, I wasn\u2019t fully prepared to get the call that he had gone to sleep and had not\u00a0woken up.<\/p>\n

Although I was very sad at his passing, I was happy that he lived a good, long life with us. I know he slipped away peacefully.<\/p>\n

How My Daughter Took the News<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I wasn\u2019t prepared for the reaction of my 8-year-old daughter. She was in the car when I received the phone call telling me\u00a0what had happened, and when I hung up, I told her. After she had expressed sadness<\/a>, she began asking when we could get another cat. I had to tell her several times that this was something I couldn\u2019t talk about now because I was really sad.<\/p>\n

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Find a Therapist<\/a><\/h2>\n\t
\n\n\t\t\t\n\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\tAdvanced Search<\/a>\n\t<\/form>\n<\/div>We had been talking for months that sooner or later one of our many animals was going to pass away. I wanted to prepare her. I think I also wanted to prepare myself for her reaction.<\/p>\n

When she was two years old, my daughter drew a face on a balloon. When she accidentally let go of it, she sobbed herself to sleep. I expected her reaction to losing a cat would be greater than that. It wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

A Child\u2019s Grief<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Losing a pet is often the first experience of grief a child has. Give them the space and permission to work through it on their own terms, but with your love and support. Talk to them about how it felt when you were a child and lost an animal you loved.<\/span>When it was time, my daughter created an elaborate funeral procession and burial for Frodo. She took comfort in making sure his grave was decorated with flowers, and she shed a few tears throughout the process. And that was okay.<\/p>\n

Just like every adult grieves<\/a> differently for each death, each child grieves differently for each loss. The way a child mourns a beloved pet at the age of four may change dramatically when he or she reaches the age of ten.<\/p>\n

As a parent, you may feel uncomfortable talking about loss. You may get uncomfortable with how your child is behaving. Some kids want to immediately replace the pet, and others refuse to consider it. One child may not cry at all in front of you but will cry silently at night. Another child will talk about their pet endlessly and cry constantly for days.<\/p>\n

As a parent, there are things you can do to help your child manage their sadness when their pet dies:<\/p>\n