{"id":28180,"date":"2015-06-08T06:00:59","date_gmt":"2015-06-08T13:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=28180"},"modified":"2018-02-12T12:02:00","modified_gmt":"2018-02-12T20:02:00","slug":"silencing-the-inner-critic-the-power-of-self-compassion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/silencing-the-inner-critic-the-power-of-self-compassion-0608154","title":{"rendered":"Silencing the Inner Critic: The Power of Self-Compassion"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"hands\u201cYou yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.\u201d<\/em> \u2014Buddha<\/p>\n

As I write this, I can feel anxiety<\/a> in my entire body; my legs are restless, my toes are tapping, and there are butterflies in my stomach twirling and diving, with some going on bombing missions. Thoughts are flying across the screen of my mind at the speed of light. My inner dialogue\/landscape is one of charred wood and dead grass as I search to find the \u201cright\u201d words that will enlighten readers. In this barren wasteland of blank thoughts, I see a little pink flower that seems to be calling from afar, but, alas, it\u2019s not to be! It\u2019s only a figment of my imagination.<\/p>\n

In my mind, I see no other recourse than to surrender and shout out, \u201cI give up! This is too hard!\u201d while another voice suggests, \u201cDon\u2019t you think this would be a great time to rearrange the furniture?\u201d All the while, the wise part of me looks on with patience<\/a> and compassion<\/a>, nodding her head as she says, \u201cNow, my dear, you know what you need to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

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I do know what I need to do, but I still wonder why, after all these years of writing, a deadline can bring up feelings of dread similar to those you get when the dentist informs you that you\u2019re in need of a root canal. Unfortunately, I know the answer to this; and no, I am not as wise as Yoda! I happen to be very well acquainted with the inner critic<\/a>, and I know that as soon as there\u2019s a deadline looming on the horizon, the inner critic perks up, rubs her hands together with glee, laughs maniacally, and shouts with jubilation, \u201cI knew sooner or later you\u2019d need my help!\u201d Hearing this, I turn to her, send her an imaginary bow of acknowledgment, and say, \u201cIt\u2019s OK. I appreciate the offer, but I can do this on my own.\u201d I lovingly guide her back to the meditation cushion and ask her to help by sending thoughts of loving kindness and compassion.<\/p>\n

Unveiling the Inner Critic<\/h2>\n

\u201cWhile others may fool us with stories, lies, and misinformation, the biggest deceptions happen within our very own heads!\u201d<\/em> \u2014Dana Nourie<\/p>\n

We all have an inner critic that gets activated when there is a sign of trouble or danger on the horizon. It shows up when we\u2019re most vulnerable, fearful, or sad<\/a>. It\u2019s the scolding, critical, manipulative, and intimidating inner voice that is trying to help us stay safe. It can also sound like background noise; the voice is there, but we\u2019ve gotten so used to it that we don\u2019t hear it. When we don\u2019t notice this inner dialogue, we may end up believing these thoughts, which creates even deeper suffering. So it\u2019s important to recognize when the inner critic is present.<\/p>\n

Below are just a few examples of how the inner critic shows up:<\/p>\n