{"id":28110,"date":"2015-06-01T08:00:50","date_gmt":"2015-06-01T15:00:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=28110"},"modified":"2017-09-13T11:12:34","modified_gmt":"2017-09-13T18:12:34","slug":"how-to-deal-with-the-bully-inside-your-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-the-bully-inside-your-head-0601155","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal with the Bully Inside Your Head"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"handsHave you ever called yourself \u00e2\u20ac\u0153stupid\u00e2\u20ac\u009d just because you made a mistake?<\/p>\n

When you look in the mirror, do you curse your reflection for not being attractive enough?<\/p>\n

Do you make silent, sarcastic remarks to yourself after you speak?<\/p>\n

When you engage in self-criticism<\/a>, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like having your very own personal bully living inside your head.<\/p>\n

Whenever you try something new, the bully is there to taunt you. When you think about taking a risk, the bully lets you know you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll probably fail. And when it comes to relationships<\/a>, the bully is the first to point out your flaws and weaknesses, all the reasons no one could ever really love you.<\/p>\n

The bully loves to control you. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the bully\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s \u00e2\u20ac\u0153thing.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

[fat_widget_right]<\/p>\n

Your bully is happiest when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re anxious about screwing up, or else feeling like you already screwed up. That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what gives bullies their power.<\/p>\n

If you want to ditch the bully, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll need to take your power back. But before you can do that, make sure you really want to get rid of the bully inside your head.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d you may ask. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How can you even ask me that? Of COURSE I want to ditch this bully!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Are you sure?<\/p>\n

The bully in your head is there for a reason. The bully is there to keep you on your toes. What if you didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a bully pointing out how badly you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re doing in everything? How much worse<\/em> might you be?<\/p>\n

Taking your power back by rejecting the lie (i.e., there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s something wrong with you) is much easier said than done. But what does it feel like to consider the possibility that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re just fine exactly as you are?<\/span><\/p>\n

The real bully is your belief that there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s something inherently wrong with you. How ready do you feel to let go of that?<\/p>\n

As long as you suspect there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s something wrong with you, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll need a bully to keep you on the right track.<\/p>\n

Taking your power back by rejecting the lie (i.e., there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s something wrong with you) is much easier said than done. But what does it feel like to consider the possibility that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re just fine exactly as you are?<\/p>\n

Take a few moments to mull it over.<\/p>\n

What does it mean if there is really, truly nothing at all wrong with you? It could mean a lot of things, not all of them pleasant. For example:<\/p>\n