{"id":27936,"date":"2015-05-18T08:00:51","date_gmt":"2015-05-18T15:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=27936"},"modified":"2024-01-09T15:33:32","modified_gmt":"2024-01-09T20:33:32","slug":"why-are-memories-of-my-past-trauma-coming-back-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/why-are-memories-of-my-past-trauma-coming-back-now-0518155","title":{"rendered":"Why Are Memories of My Past Trauma Coming Back Now?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"\u201cI\u2019ve been fine for years. Now I have nightmares every night and can barely function at work. What\u2019s going on?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought I was over it. I even went to therapy as a kid! Why is it all coming back again?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel like I\u2019m falling apart, but the abuse was years ago. Does this mean I\u2019m getting worse?\u201d<\/p>\n

One of the first things survivors of sexual abuse ask me when they come into my therapy office is, \u201cWhy now? Why are these feelings and memories coming back now?\u201d Often, the underlying question is, \u201cI was fine before, but now I\u2019m struggling. Am I going crazy?\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re having this experience\u2014being suddenly overwhelmed by a past trauma<\/a>\u2014let me reassure you the same way I reassure the people I work with in my office. No, you\u2019re not going crazy! As difficult as it may be to believe, a sudden reemergence of old feelings is often a sign that you\u2019re ready to heal on a deeper level.<\/p>\n

Recovery from Trauma Happens in Stages<\/h2>\n

Healing from a trauma such as sexual assault or abuse happens in stages. In the first few days after an assault, we tend to shut down because the emotions feel so overwhelming that we can deal with them only in small doses. For ongoing sexual abuse or molestation, this shutdown state may last for the entire time the abuse occurs. Eventually, in the days, weeks, and months after an assault occurred or the abuse ends, we usually find ways to \u201cput the past behind us,\u201d to regulate our emotions and to build a stable life. We may still experience some triggers or have some nightmares, and we don\u2019t typically forget about what happened, but over the years we start to feel \u201cnormal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Then, sometimes, all those feelings come roaring back. What\u2019s going on?<\/p>\n

When the fear, the anger, the sadness, the helplessness, the heartache\u2014all the emotions that were perhaps too painful, too complicated, or just \u201ctoo\u201d in the immediate aftermath of the trauma\u2014suddenly reemerge, your new task is to sit with those emotions and let them have their say.<\/span><\/p>\n

In my experience as a therapist, what\u2019s happening is that some deep, inner part of you finally feels safe and stable enough to address the leftover emotional fallout that\u2019s been patiently waiting for years. Your job right after the trauma and in the years since the trauma occurred has been to find stability. You developed successful coping mechanisms<\/a> that let you function in the world without falling apart. Those are invaluable skills that are going to get you through the next part of your recovery.<\/p>\n

You Are Strong Enough to Feel Vulnerable Now<\/h2>\n

When the fear, the anger, the sadness, the helplessness, the heartache\u2014all the emotions that were perhaps too painful, too complicated, or just \u201ctoo\u201d in the immediate aftermath of the trauma\u2014suddenly reemerge, your new task is to sit with those emotions and let them have their say. They\u2019ve been patiently waiting for you to develop the strength to cope with them successfully, and if they\u2019ve shown up for you now, after all this time, they think you\u2019re finally ready. You are strong enough to feel vulnerable for a while.<\/p>\n

So what do you do? How do you cope without getting overwhelmed?<\/p>\n