{"id":27936,"date":"2015-05-18T08:00:51","date_gmt":"2015-05-18T15:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=27936"},"modified":"2024-01-09T15:33:32","modified_gmt":"2024-01-09T20:33:32","slug":"why-are-memories-of-my-past-trauma-coming-back-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/why-are-memories-of-my-past-trauma-coming-back-now-0518155","title":{"rendered":"Why Are Memories of My Past Trauma Coming Back Now?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been fine for years. Now I have nightmares every night and can barely function at work. What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going on?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I thought I was over it. I even went to therapy as a kid! Why is it all coming back again?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I feel like I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m falling apart, but the abuse was years ago. Does this mean I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m getting worse?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

One of the first things survivors of sexual abuse ask me when they come into my therapy office is, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Why now? Why are these feelings and memories coming back now?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Often, the underlying question is, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I was fine before, but now I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m struggling. Am I going crazy?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re having this experience\u00e2\u20ac\u201dbeing suddenly overwhelmed by a past trauma<\/a>\u00e2\u20ac\u201dlet me reassure you the same way I reassure the people I work with in my office. No, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re not going crazy! As difficult as it may be to believe, a sudden reemergence of old feelings is often a sign that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re ready to heal on a deeper level.<\/p>\n

Recovery from Trauma Happens in Stages<\/h2>\n

Healing from a trauma such as sexual assault or abuse happens in stages. In the first few days after an assault, we tend to shut down because the emotions feel so overwhelming that we can deal with them only in small doses. For ongoing sexual abuse or molestation, this shutdown state may last for the entire time the abuse occurs. Eventually, in the days, weeks, and months after an assault occurred or the abuse ends, we usually find ways to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153put the past behind us,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to regulate our emotions and to build a stable life. We may still experience some triggers or have some nightmares, and we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t typically forget about what happened, but over the years we start to feel \u00e2\u20ac\u0153normal.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Then, sometimes, all those feelings come roaring back. What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going on?<\/p>\n

When the fear, the anger, the sadness, the helplessness, the heartache\u00e2\u20ac\u201dall the emotions that were perhaps too painful, too complicated, or just \u00e2\u20ac\u0153too\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in the immediate aftermath of the trauma\u00e2\u20ac\u201dsuddenly reemerge, your new task is to sit with those emotions and let them have their say.<\/span><\/p>\n

In my experience as a therapist, what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s happening is that some deep, inner part of you finally feels safe and stable enough to address the leftover emotional fallout that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s been patiently waiting for years. Your job right after the trauma and in the years since the trauma occurred has been to find stability. You developed successful coping mechanisms<\/a> that let you function in the world without falling apart. Those are invaluable skills that are going to get you through the next part of your recovery.<\/p>\n

You Are Strong Enough to Feel Vulnerable Now<\/h2>\n

When the fear, the anger, the sadness, the helplessness, the heartache\u00e2\u20ac\u201dall the emotions that were perhaps too painful, too complicated, or just \u00e2\u20ac\u0153too\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in the immediate aftermath of the trauma\u00e2\u20ac\u201dsuddenly reemerge, your new task is to sit with those emotions and let them have their say. They\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been patiently waiting for you to develop the strength to cope with them successfully, and if they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve shown up for you now, after all this time, they think you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re finally ready. You are strong enough to feel vulnerable for a while.<\/p>\n

So what do you do? How do you cope without getting overwhelmed?<\/p>\n