{"id":27295,"date":"2015-03-31T08:00:36","date_gmt":"2015-03-31T15:00:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=27295"},"modified":"2017-06-23T13:58:53","modified_gmt":"2017-06-23T20:58:53","slug":"making-sense-of-sensitivity-how-to-help-your-anxious-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/making-sense-of-sensitivity-how-to-help-your-anxious-child-0331155","title":{"rendered":"Making Sense of Sensitivity: How to Help Your Anxious Child"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"childThese days, most of us live with some degree of stress. For kids, between their homework, friends, after-school activities, sports, and worries about getting into college, it\u2019s a whole new era of anxiety. It\u2019s no wonder, then, that the\u00a0National Institute of Mental Health states that the prevalence of diagnosed anxiety disorders<\/a>\u00a0among\u00a013- to 18-year-olds is 25.1%.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a parent living with an anxious child, you know how tiring and frustrating it can be\u2014for both of you. It\u2019s not easy to live with the kid who\u2019s so stressed out by homework assignments that he ends up throwing the book against the wall, or tearing the papers in frustration, or working until midnight to get it perfect. Or the teen who gets a migraine every time she has to go to school or start a new activity. With a little insight into how they feel, why they act the way they do, and what we can do to help, the job of parenting<\/a> anxious kids gets a little easier.<\/p>\n

How They Feel<\/h2>\n

Anxiety doesn\u2019t always show up as worry. Sometimes it looks like anger<\/a>, irritability<\/a>, sadness<\/a>, or fear<\/a>. After a full day at school worrying<\/a> and obsessing<\/a>, kids often come home exhausted\u2014and immediately act out.<\/p>\n

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Imagine spending an entire day in fight-or-flight mode<\/a>. That\u2019s when the brain perceives a danger and thus produces adrenaline and stress hormones to prepare for a quick getaway, like a caveman running from a tiger. This causes physical sensations such as dizziness, faster heartbeat, rapid breathing, and sweaty palms. In this state, it\u2019s tough to think clearly or make good, informed decisions. Even the most mature of us might lash out after all that.<\/p>\n

Then again, sometimes these struggling kids look like stereotypical \u201cnormal\u201d kids\u2014at least at school, where they may crave the approval of the teachers. Keeping very contained gives them a sense of control over their environment, helping to minimize the risk of what they see as danger. But when they come home, everything changes. In the safety of their own room, they might have panic attacks<\/a>, refuse to follow rules<\/a>, or get violent<\/a>.<\/p>\n

What This Is NOT<\/h2>\n

If you lived with this level of stress<\/a> every day, you\u2019d probably come home and explode, too\u2014and maybe you do. Kids tend to store up their stress and take it out on those they can trust: their parents and family members. Sometimes your home might feel like a battlefield.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s important to know is that this is not<\/em> manipulation<\/a>. Your child doesn\u2019t want to be this way. It\u2019s easy to think that he or she is acting out in order to get attention, or that if the child were less spoiled, less spiteful, or less rebellious, he or she would stop being \u201cbratty.\u201d But in reality, no one, especially a sensitive kid, would choose to constantly be in trouble.<\/p>\n

Your child doesn\u2019t want to be this way. It\u2019s easy to think that he or she is acting out in order to get attention, or that if the child were less spoiled, less spiteful, or less rebellious, he or she would stop being \u201cbratty.\u201d But in reality, no one, especially a sensitive kid, would choose to constantly be in trouble.<\/div>\n

Anxious children may lose it for a handful of reasons:<\/p>\n