{"id":26202,"date":"2014-12-15T06:00:48","date_gmt":"2014-12-15T14:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=26202"},"modified":"2024-05-08T16:37:57","modified_gmt":"2024-05-08T20:37:57","slug":"how-to-build-a-backbone-in-3-easy-steps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/how-to-build-a-backbone-in-3-easy-steps-1215144","title":{"rendered":"How to Build a Backbone in 3 Easy Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"GoodTherapyDo you allow others to take advantage of you? Do you avoid speaking up for yourself? Well, now\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the time to build your\u00c2\u00a0backbone! One that works, doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t wobble, and gets stronger when used.<\/p>\n

What is a backbone, anyway? A backbone is a symbol of strength in character, an unwillingness to be used or taken for granted, and a firm commitment to uphold one\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s decisions and feelings. We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve all seen and heard of people who have a backbone; they are the strong ones, the ones who get what they want.<\/p>\n

How do you know if you have a backbone? Ask yourself these questions:<\/p>\n

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  1. Do you resent someone in your life?<\/li>\n
  2. Do you feel taken advantage of?<\/li>\n
  3. Do you often complain but nothing changes?<\/li>\n
  4. Do you keep all of your emotions<\/a> in?<\/li>\n
  5. Do you avoid conflict?<\/li>\n
  6. Have you said yes when you meant no?<\/li>\n
  7. Have you allowed your anger<\/a> to build up and come out in other ways?<\/li>\n
  8. Have you compromised self-care<\/a> for others-care?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could use a backbone adjustment!<\/p>\n

    [fat_widget_right]<\/p>\n

    First, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s understand why backbone building is so hard. Often, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been hurt and have learned to give in to avoid a conflict or, worse, getting hurt even further. Another possible reason we may not use our backbone is that we lack self-esteem<\/a> and confidence<\/a>. But it costs us in the long run: we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t speak up, we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make waves, and we allow ourselves to be treated disrespectfully in order to keep the peace.<\/p>\n

    The benefits of a backbone are many. A backbone, or confidence in our strength, allows us to feel:<\/p>\n