{"id":26168,"date":"2014-12-19T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-12-19T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=26168"},"modified":"2016-05-23T02:11:34","modified_gmt":"2016-05-23T09:11:34","slug":"how-can-i-learn-to-open-up-to-my-therapist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/dear-gt\/how-can-i-learn-to-open-up-to-my-therapist","title":{"rendered":"How Can I Learn to Open Up to My Therapist?"},"content":{"rendered":"

First, let me applaud your courage in seeking out therapy<\/a> and for reaching out to GoodTherapy.org with your question. It is no small thing to acknowledge that one needs help, so bravo to you for taking those steps.<\/p>\n

Your question of how to open up to a therapist is quite common. Many people feel overwhelmed at the possibility of sharing their deepest, darkest secrets and pain with a virtual stranger. It seems especially frustrating when you are paying for the services but still can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to open up. However, this is perfectly normal, and many people find themselves in that position. There are a few things that might contribute to this: you may not have developed the level of trust you need to feel safe with the therapist you are working with, you may be fearful<\/a> of being judged by the therapist, or maybe you are afraid that opening the pain of the past might be too much to handle. There are many reasons for people not opening up in therapy, so I will give you some ideas on how to get things going.<\/p>\n

[fat_widget_left]<\/p>\n

If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve ever heard the saying, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If something scares you, you must do it immediately,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d this will sound familiar. You have to build trust<\/a> with your therapist AND with yourself\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwith your therapist, you need to know that he or she has the capacity to hold whatever pain you might share, and you need to know that you can handle sharing your past without falling apart, losing control, or being overtaken. The best way to do this is by taking small steps. First, I suggest talking with your therapist specifically about your inability to open up. This type of honest conversation can be a bridge to building trust in other areas. Second, after having that conversation, intentionally decide to take risks and share honestly in your therapy sessions. Even if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to share the trauma of the past<\/a>, you can say, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really anxious because I want to share, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m afraid of …\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Simply naming the anxiety when it appears can help clear the way through it.<\/p>\n

Finally, many people are concerned that the therapist will judge them when they share openly. While I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t say that there aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t therapists who judge, they are firmly in the minority. Therapists generally hold a genuine space of empathy<\/a> and high regard for the people they work with, knowing that each individual has had a unique \u00e2\u20ac\u0153pain journey\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and that seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but rather of deep strength. Your therapist is a stranger only as long as you keep him or her that way. By taking small risks and building trust, you will deepen your relationship with your therapist, which will help your therapy progress.<\/p>\n

You can make this therapeutic experience what you want it to be by taking ownership for how it has gone and making active choices in how to handle it going forward. I believe that you want this to work, and I believe that it will because you are willing to work. Best wishes in your journey!<\/p>\n

Sincerely,
\nLisa<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lisa Vallejos, MA, LPC, NCC, responds to our latest reader-submitted Dear GoodTherapy.org question.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2597,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[625],"tags":[522,49,25,388],"class_list":["post-26168","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-goodtherapy","tag-dear-gt","tag-considering-psychotherapy","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-trust-issues"],"acf":{"author_show":false,"author_name":"","author_role":"","author_avatar":null,"author_profile_url":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26168","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2597"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26168"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26168\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26168"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26168"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26168"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}