{"id":25247,"date":"2014-09-09T06:00:55","date_gmt":"2014-09-09T13:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=25247"},"modified":"2017-10-10T12:26:08","modified_gmt":"2017-10-10T19:26:08","slug":"are-you-over-parenting-your-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/when-does-protecting-your-kids-become-over-parenting-0909144","title":{"rendered":"When Does Protecting Your Kids Become Over-Parenting?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"PersonA child changes everything. As a parent, you start seeing things from a completely different perspective. Whereas you would not have bothered before about cars driving too fast on a suburban street, now you find yourself yelling out, \u201cSlow down, there\u2019re kids in this neighborhood!\u201d<\/p>\n

Being a parent<\/a> brings on a new sense of responsibility. At least one study shows that dads start spending more time at the office after having a child, working harder, hoping for a promotion. Another group of studies show that stress<\/a> increases significantly for new parents, and some even suggest that, because of the added stress, parents are not much happier than their childless counterparts.<\/p>\n

Ah, responsibility. You hold that little bundle of sleepless joy in your arms, and tell them, \u201cI will never let anything happen to you. I promise. I will dedicate my life to you, and you will be the happiest person to ever walk this earth.\u201d However, raising the smartest, happiest, and most amazing human being is a lot of work. Just keeping a child alive is huge responsibility!<\/p>\n

The constant pressure can lead you to over-parent your child. Your desire to shield and protect them at all times allows the child little room for making mistakes.<\/p>\n

Children, and people in general, learn best from experience. If a parent constantly guides a child to assure the child\u2019s success, then the child may not know what to do when left to their own devices.<\/p>\n

A common sign of over-parenting is when parents express worries in the form of instructions. For example: \u201cDon\u2019t fall!\u201d How does that statement reduce the child\u2019s chances of falling? Another one: \u201cBe good.\u201d Instead of helping your child succeed, these vague statements communicate mistrust in the child’s abilities.<\/p>\n

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Another sign of over-parenting is when a parent rushes in to fix a child\u2019s problems to avoid the child becoming upset<\/a>. When a child loses a toy, they get a new one. When a pet dies, and parents are overwhelmed with their child\u2019s feelings of grief<\/a>, they might rush to the pet store for a new animal to replace their child\u2019s best friend.<\/p>\n

So, what\u2019s a loving parent to do? What if the parent has a superpower to foresee danger. Should the parent not give warnings? Step in to save the day?<\/p>\n

Here are some suggestions on how to step back so your child can step up:<\/p>\n