{"id":25069,"date":"2014-08-14T06:00:59","date_gmt":"2014-08-14T13:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=25069"},"modified":"2016-09-23T11:18:28","modified_gmt":"2016-09-23T18:18:28","slug":"10-things-you-might-not-know-about-bisexuality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/10-things-you-might-not-know-about-bisexuality-0814144","title":{"rendered":"10 Things You Might Not Know about Bisexuality"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-32958 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/bi-pride-flag-colors-watercolor-clouds-e1474648521182-300x210.jpg\" alt=\"An abstract cloudscape with pink bokeh effects.\" width=\"300\" height=\"210\" data-id=\"32958\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/bi-pride-flag-colors-watercolor-clouds-e1474648521182-300x210.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/bi-pride-flag-colors-watercolor-clouds-e1474648521182.jpg 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>I recently agreed to do part of an online course in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/LGBT-issues\" target=\"_blank\">LGBT studies<\/a>. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m doing the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153B\u00e2\u20ac\u009d: bisexuality. They had a hard time finding someone to do it; no one thought they could fill the time with enough info on the subject! After all, we still live in a world where a lot of people think there is \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no such thing\u00e2\u20ac\u009d as bisexuality.<\/p>\n<p>The more I dig, the more I feel that understanding bisexuality is the key to understanding a LOT of things about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/psychpedia\/sexual-orientation\" target=\"_blank\">sexual orientation<\/a>, behavior, attractions, and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/psychpedia\/gender\" target=\"_blank\">gender<\/a> itself. Here are 10 things I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve learned so far:<\/p>\n<p>[fat_widget_sex_right]<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>There are more bisexual\u00c2\u00a0people\u00c2\u00a0than gay and lesbian people.<\/strong> That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right. Not only does bisexuality exist, those who self-label as bi outnumber those who identify as gay or lesbian. A 2011 study in <em>The Journal of Sexual Medicine<\/em> found that 3.1% of respondents in a national survey said they were bi and only 2.5% lesbian or gay. Other studies have found similar results.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Younger people embrace the identity more than older people. <\/strong>Lisa Diamond and Ritch Savin-Williams\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 research shows that people under 40, and especially those under 30, think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no big deal to acknowledge attractions to both men and women. But then again, young people tend to think <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/relationships\" target=\"_blank\">marriage<\/a> equality is a no-brainer, too.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Women may be more bisexual than men\u00e2\u20ac\u201dor they just accept it more.<\/strong> About 15 years ago, Meredith Chivers did lab research showing that women\u00e2\u20ac\u201dregardless of their sexual identity\u00e2\u20ac\u201drespond more to bisexual erotica than men. And recent analyses of national youth surveys by Nanette Gartrell show about 15% of adolescent girls have had a same-sex experience, not just attractions.<\/li>\n<li><strong>But men may be catching up. <\/strong>Savin-Williams is doing research on \u00e2\u20ac\u0153mostly heterosexual\u00e2\u20ac\u009d men\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthose with a little bit of same-sex attraction and behavior. There are a LOT of them. And Diamond, once an advocate of the position that women were more bisexual and fluid than men, recently published a paper called \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I Was Wrong\u00e2\u20ac\u201dMen Are Pretty Darn Fluid Too.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Bisexuals threaten heterosexuals because they \u00e2\u20ac\u0153blur the line.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/strong> In case you haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t noticed, many heterosexuals still <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/fear\" target=\"_blank\">fear<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/rejection\" target=\"_blank\">reject<\/a> gay people. They want to distance from same-sex attraction in every way. If the world is divided neatly into two \u00e2\u20ac\u0153camps\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthose who are 100% heterosexual and those 100% gay\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s easy. But if there is a third group, people who are attracted to both men and women, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s harder to draw the line and make that separation.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Bisexuals threaten gay people because they represent the ability to hide behind \u00e2\u20ac\u0153heterosexual privilege.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/strong> Lesbians and gay men often fear they cannot compete with heterosexual privilege in a relationship, and many suspect that anyone who self-labels as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bisexual\u00e2\u20ac\u009d will eventually find the lure of a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153normal\u00e2\u20ac\u009d life too tempting. Some see bisexuals as potential traitors\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand heartbreakers.<\/li>\n<li><strong>This double \u00e2\u20ac\u0153biphobia\u00e2\u20ac\u009d leaves bisexuals without a community.<\/strong> The \u00e2\u20ac\u0153B\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in LGBT is only grudgingly accepted. Bisexuals would normally seek solace from their \u00e2\u20ac\u0153queer\u00e2\u20ac\u009d tribe\u00e2\u20ac\u201dbut there is sometimes only marginal acceptance by the tribe.<\/li>\n<li><strong>There is a tremendous pressure to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153lie\u00e2\u20ac\u009d if you are bisexual. <\/strong>Only 23% of self-identified bisexuals tell others. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s easier to just let people assume that if you are with an opposite-sex partner you are straight and if you are with a same sex partner you are gay.<\/li>\n<li><strong>This leads to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bi-invisibility.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/strong> \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Biphobia\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is the irrational fear of bisexuality. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Bi-invisibility\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is the denial that bisexuals exist and being blind to the existence of bisexuality. Until recently, this was argued in the scientific literature about bisexuality, and it is the most common public misconception about bisexuality. But bisexuals themselves may unwittingly help to maintain bi-invisibility by not \u00e2\u20ac\u0153coming out.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d After all, arguably the single most important thing that advanced gay rights in the past 40 years was gays and lesbians becoming more public.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Bi-invisibility is also maintained by \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bi-erasure.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/strong> Bi-erasure is the cultural tendency to refuse to acknowledge bisexuals even when they proclaim their bisexuality. How many people think Rock Hudson gay and Marlon Brando straight? Both talked openly about attractions and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/sex-and-sexuality\" target=\"_blank\">sexual experiences<\/a> with men as well as women. Larry King\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fumbling interview of Anna Paquin is not unusual. For reasons that mystify, many people have such a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea that someone could be attracted to both genders\u00e2\u20ac\u201dor that gender might not matter\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat they just erase the possibility from their worlds!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bisexuality is widely misunderstood\u00e2\u20ac\u201dby heterosexual and gay\/lesbian people alike. Here are some things we are beginning to understand about bisexual people.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2634,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[542],"tags":[31,434,234,25,139],"class_list":["post-25069","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured-articles","tag-psychotherapy-practice","tag-identity-issues","tag-lgbt","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-sex-therapy"],"acf":{"author_show":false,"author_name":"","author_role":"","author_avatar":null,"author_profile_url":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25069","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2634"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=25069"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25069\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=25069"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=25069"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=25069"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}