Thank you for writing. I am so sorry this happened to you. It frankly makes my blood boil. This breach and exploitation is exactly what therapists are never<\/i> supposed to do. To me, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s akin to incest. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m glad you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re reaching out about it. Despite whatever conflicted feelings you might be having, please know that this was not<\/i> your fault in any way. Maintaining that professional wall and keeping the boundary between healer and client is solely the responsibility of the therapist. Psychological safety and doing no harm is our top priority. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s heartbreaking that your therapist so violated the sanctity of the relationship.<\/p>\n
Of course, from a psychological viewpoint, this kind of gross violation of boundaries and trust will bring up all kinds of conflicted and traumatic feelings<\/a> for the client. (This is one of many reasons that such a breach indicates the therapist has lost her way in the profession.) What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s especially tragic is that this experience may have parallel emotional resonance for those who were abused<\/a> or neglected as children. One of the most common misperceptions by victims of such abuse is that they think, somehow, in a desperate effort to make sense of a painfully chaotic phenomenon, that they \u00e2\u20ac\u0153caused\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153brought on\u00e2\u20ac\u009d the abuse. Therapy is set up so that it really is all about the client; when this kind of abuse transpires, how can the client help but think (among other things) that the violation is somehow \u00e2\u20ac\u0153about me\u00e2\u20ac\u009d? Trust me: This is about a malpracticing therapist.<\/p>\n The feelings you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re having are quite understandable; however\u00e2\u20ac\u201dand I hate to say this\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthey most likely won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t just go away on their own. You allude to this in your letter in that, five years hence, the pain lingers. In a way, it means you have a communicative psyche that needs some sustained, loving attention; you deserve the care and guidance of a competent therapist to help you heal. The fact other therapists wanted you to press charges may be a sign of how seriously we take our oath as healers\u00e2\u20ac\u201dit\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s enraging when we hear of violations of that oath. However, you are not obligated to do anything that feels too scary or overwhelming. You may want to press charges at some point, you may not. That doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seem to be what you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re needing right now, and such a decision can come later, if ever. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not your job to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153police\u00e2\u20ac\u009d anyone. We don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to create a situation wherein we \u00e2\u20ac\u0153blame the victim.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n