{"id":19128,"date":"2013-06-27T11:00:27","date_gmt":"2013-06-27T18:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=19128"},"modified":"2017-08-09T09:31:46","modified_gmt":"2017-08-09T16:31:46","slug":"wounded-attachment-relationships-of-survivors-of-childhood-sexual-assault","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wounded-attachment-relationships-of-survivors-of-childhood-sexual-assault-0627135","title":{"rendered":"Wounded Attachment: Relationships of Survivors of Childhood Sexual Assault"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"TeenageIn my work with adult survivors<\/a> of sexual assault, I am beginning to notice a pattern of behavior that I have termed \u00e2\u20ac\u0153wounded attachment.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The impact of childhood sexual assault<\/a> has reverberating effects on almost every facet of survivors\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 livelihood, from relationships<\/a> with family, friends, partners, spouses, and children to their jobs, finances, faith, etc. It is as if sexual assault redefines one\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s pattern of and trajectory in life.<\/p>\n

Sexual assault is the act of forcing, enticing, intimidating, or coercing another person to engage in a sexual activity<\/a>, from fondling to coitus, when the other person is unwilling or unable (as is the case of one who is underage, drugged, or unconscious). Imagine yourself as a child, seeing the world through a child\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s eyes, and then being introduced to a violent act<\/a>\u00e2\u20ac\u201dan act that serves to not only damage one\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s physical body and mental\/cognitive mind-set, but also disrupt one\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s spiritual<\/a> being.<\/p>\n

This one act for some\u00e2\u20ac\u201drepeated acts of violence for others\u00e2\u20ac\u201ddoes untold amounts of damage to one\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s psyche. Yet the resilience I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve witnessed from many who choose to live their lives after the violence is remarkable. Unfortunately, for many the damage is such that many are unaware of how it has skewed their way of looking at the world. This sometimes is displayed in the relationships subsequent to the sexual assault.<\/p>\n

Far too often, survivors believe that once the assault ends, it is done and they don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to talk about it. Yet the choices made, the decisions not made, and the relationships that come afterward tell a different story. Wounded attachment <\/i>is an insidious component that I have seen repeatedly in my work with adult survivors of childhood sexual assault. What is wounded attachment? It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the unconscious way of being attracted or attached to someone or something that reminds the survivor of or reinforces the wound\/trauma<\/a>, or in this case the sexual assault. At its core, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the way in which survivors subconsciously seek out relationships that reinforce the wounded aspect of themselves.<\/p>\n

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Find a Therapist<\/a><\/h2>\n\t
\n\n\t\t\t\n\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\tAdvanced Search<\/a>\n\t<\/form>\n<\/div>Sometimes it is displayed in the choice of employment\/work. For example, survivors may find themselves working at a job that belittles them, makes them feel worthless, or where they feel like they have to make everyone else happy at the expense of their own happiness<\/a>, thereby reinforcing their wounded concept of self. Another example is when a survivor is continually engaged in romantic relationships that serve to reinforce the wounded parts of self.<\/p>\n

As a child, depending on when the assault occurred and the developmental stage in which it occurred, the person seeks to please the adult and gain affection, attention, nurturing, love, trust, etc. A child who has been sexually assaulted blurs that idea of love, nurturing, trust, attention, and affection, and begins to believe that the only way to receive love, attention, etc., is to please the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153assaulter.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d This remains in effect as the child matures into adulthood.<\/p>\n

Although the assault is no longer occurring, if the child did not receive any type of counseling, intervention, or effective treatment to process and repair the damage to the mind, body, and psyche, then this adult is continuing to live out the wounds experienced as a child. As such, the adult becomes caught in a cycle of relationships that reinforce the wounded attachments. Awareness of this plays a crucial role in helping adult survivors of sexual assault move toward recovery, resiliency, and healing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The devastating emotional effects of childhood sexual abuse often reverberate through survivors’ adult relationships.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2641,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[542,623,1],"tags":[252,425,31,413,226,25,41,385],"class_list":["post-19128","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-featured-articles","category-issues-treated","category-uncategorized","tag-abuse-neglect-survivors","tag-aggression-violence","tag-psychotherapy-practice","tag-emotional-abuse","tag-posttraumatic-stress","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-marriage-counseling-relationships","tag-sexual-abuse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19128","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2641"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19128"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19128\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19128"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19128"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19128"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}