{"id":17492,"date":"2013-04-03T11:00:04","date_gmt":"2013-04-03T18:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=17492"},"modified":"2015-07-06T08:23:38","modified_gmt":"2015-07-06T15:23:38","slug":"recognizing-self-erosion-is-key-to-reversing-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/self-erosion-finding-yourself-0403135","title":{"rendered":"Recognizing Self-Erosion Is Key to Reversing It"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-large wp-image-27119\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/woman-in-rain2-909x1024.jpg\" alt=\"Woman with umbrella in the rain\" width=\"909\" height=\"1024\" data-id=\"27119\" title=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/woman-in-rain2-909x1024.jpg 909w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/woman-in-rain2-266x300.jpg 266w, https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/woman-in-rain2.jpg 1068w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 909px) 100vw, 909px\" \/>\u00e2\u20ac\u0153The greatest hazard of all, losing one\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss\u00e2\u20ac\u201dan arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc.\u00e2\u20ac\u201dis sure to be noticed.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/em> \u00e2\u20ac\u2022S\u00c3\u00b8ren Kierkegaard<\/p>\n<p>So often, people come to therapy seeking to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153find themselves,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d typically after a tragedy has occurred or some major shift has taken place in life and they realize they have somehow \u00e2\u20ac\u0153lost\u00e2\u20ac\u009d themselves along the way. But there is another way of losing oneself that is more insidious, more subtle, and can be even more damaging. This is what I call self-erosion.<\/p>\n<p>[fat_widget_right]<\/p>\n<p>Self-erosion occurs over a period of time and happens so quietly that the person doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even realize it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s happening. Self-erosion happens when we are so busy doing other things\u00e2\u20ac\u201dsuch as working, going to school, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/parenting\" target=\"_blank\">raising kids<\/a>, and being in incompatible <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/relationships\" target=\"_blank\">relationships<\/a>\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthat we slowly lose touch with who we are. Our lives become so much about what we do, how we contribute, and what we offer the world that we lose touch with who we are. The tragedy of the self-erosion experience is that when we finally come face to face with the reality that we have no idea who we are anymore, we have no idea where to start.<\/p>\n<p>You might be experiencing self-erosion if you have noticed any of the following:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know what you like to do for fun.<\/li>\n<li>You can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t remember the last time you had a really good laugh.<\/li>\n<li>Your <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/identity-issues\" target=\"_blank\">identity<\/a> is tied to what you do (\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m Jane\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mom,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a therapist,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a CEO,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and so on).<\/li>\n<li>You rarely take time for yourself.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you are experiencing any of these, it is likely that you have lost touch with yourself. You may be very content with your life in many ways, but in some ways you find yourself longing for more. Whatever that \u00e2\u20ac\u0153more\u00e2\u20ac\u009d consists of is very personal and different for everyone, but the important thing is that you get back in touch with it.<\/p>\n<p>Start with allowing yourself to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/self-care\" target=\"_blank\">do something you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve always liked<\/a> but don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do often, whether that is taking a long, luxurious bath or going for a walk. It may be hiding away in a coffee shop and reading a book you have wanted to read but haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t made time for. Maybe it will be going to Baskin-Robbins and trying every flavor until you find just the right one for you. Spend some time reflecting on all the things you used to do and greatly enjoyed, even when you were a child. You may find some keys to things that bring back the spark to your eyes, the joy to your living, and the passion in your existence.<\/p>\n<p>The path to finding yourself does not have to begin at the crossroads of crisis; you can decide to own your life anytime you choose. I hope you choose today\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthis moment\u00e2\u20ac\u201dto begin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Feel like you&#8217;ve &#8220;lost&#8221; yourself but not quite sure how it happened? Here are some signs of insidious self-erosion\u00e2\u20ac\u201das well as some tips for finding your groove again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2597,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[31,391,293,434,25,27,47],"class_list":["post-17492","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-psychotherapy-practice","tag-emotional-intelligence","tag-existential-psychotherapy","tag-identity-issues","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-psychotherapy-models","tag-self-care"],"acf":{"author_show":false,"author_name":"","author_role":"","author_avatar":null,"author_profile_url":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17492","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2597"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17492"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17492\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17492"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17492"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17492"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}