Thank you so much for writing. Family relationships can be so complicated, and often family members have little idea about how they are impacting others in the family. It is not unusual for oldest children to feel like they get the short end of the stick and that younger siblings get \u201cbabied\u201d or spoiled. Sometimes parents see the oldest as more independent and needing less than the younger children. It could be possible that your parents have no idea that their actions have made you feel less special.<\/p>\n
It is wonderful that you have not allowed your feelings to turn into resentment of your sisters. It sounds, though, as if you are in danger of letting your feelings of resentment toward your parents impact your relationship with them. You say that you really need their support. Do they know this? Have you told them what you need?<\/p>\n
There seems to be a few issues to talk with them about\u2014and you may want to choose which ones to address. You have a perception that your sisters have been favored since childhood. Whether or not that\u2019s what happened in your parents\u2019 eyes, it\u2019s what you experienced. That can be painful, and may be impacting how you relate to your parents. It can be very challenging to address vague feelings, but you have a current example that might help you start a conversation with them.<\/p>\n
How do you think your parents would respond to an observation? What would it be like if you told them that this past Christmas, it seemed as if the types of gifts that your sisters received were quite different than the gifts you received, and you wanted to talk about that difference and what it meant to you? Through that conversation, you might be able to share that you are hurting and that you\u2019ve long felt as if your sisters received special treatment.<\/p>\n
I would recommend focusing on your feelings and using \u201cI\u201d statements as much as possible. (For example: \u201cI sometimes felt that I wasn\u2019t as special to you as they were, and that really hurt.\u201d) You can\u2019t control how your parents respond, and it is possible that they might get defensive or dismiss what you are trying to say. But if you try to express what you\u2019ve been feeling, without accusing or blaming, you may have the opportunity to have a really important conversation. At the very least, you can express your feelings so that your silent resentment and hurt don\u2019t continue to grow.<\/p>\n
If you need more help working through your feelings, or thinking about how to talk with your parents about this, you may want to consider talking with a therapist in your area.<\/p>\n
Best of luck!
\nErika<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Thank you so much for writing. Family relationships can be so complicated, and often family members have little idea about how they are impacting others in the family. It is not unusual for oldest children to feel like they get the short end of the stick and that younger siblings get ?babied? or spoiled. Sometimes […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2592,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[625],"tags":[522],"class_list":["post-16918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-goodtherapy","tag-dear-gt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16918","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2592"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16918"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16918\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16918"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16918"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16918"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}