It\u2019s easy to see why you have concerns about the woman you\u2019ve been dating. On the one hand, she\u2019s beautiful, sweet, and smart. I can understand why you are drawn to her. On the other hand, you\u2019ve mentioned several troubling concerns. You\u2019ve heard her change her story about her marital status, and you\u2019ve caught her lying. There are serious warning signs when you mention her \u201c…tendency to lie and get into conflicts with people.\u201d I would also question her motivation to be so obsessed with your child. I found myself wondering if she has some kind of unstated agenda with you and your child\u2014she is unemployed and has no children of her own at the age of 52. Could she be looking for an established, secure family to move into to address her own needs for security? This is only speculative, but what are her motivations for obscuring the truth and wanting to spend so much time with your child?<\/p>\n
Regardless of those possibilities, it seems that your biggest concern should be the basic trust issue. Successful relationships are based on two vital ingredients\u2014a safe, trusting foundation and an attuned, responsive connection with your partner. Relationships succeed when we know we can count on our partner\u2014a predictable sense that they\u2019re there for us in a caring manner. Your question about confronting her is very reasonable\u2014I think you should. Let her know about your concerns without judgment or anger, and see how she responds. Since you already know she has been lying, you have a really tough decision to make. Can you continue in a relationship with someone you care for but already know you cannot trust? She won\u2019t have the answer to that\u2014only you can answer that question for yourself. I wish you well as you find your truth in trusting your own feelings and beliefs.<\/p>\n
Kind regards,
\nRichard<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It\u2019s easy to see why you have concerns about the woman you\u2019ve been dating. On the one hand, she\u2019s beautiful, sweet, and smart. I can understand why you are drawn to her. On the other hand, you\u2019ve mentioned several troubling concerns. You\u2019ve heard her change her story about her marital status, and you\u2019ve caught her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2374,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[625],"tags":[522],"class_list":["post-14783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dear-goodtherapy","tag-dear-gt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2374"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14783"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14783\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}