{"id":12219,"date":"2012-04-04T09:38:13","date_gmt":"2012-04-04T16:38:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=12219"},"modified":"2016-11-17T10:11:49","modified_gmt":"2016-11-17T18:11:49","slug":"co-exist-religion-fundamentalist-power-0404124","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/why-cant-we-all-just-coexist-0404124","title":{"rendered":"Why Can&#8217;t We All Just Coexist?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-17427\" src=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/coexist-hands.jpg\" alt=\"Multiracial Hands Making a Circle\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" title=\"\">A dear friend was telling me the other day about a bumper sticker that had symbols of some of the world\u2019s religions and writing that said \u201ccoexist.\u201d What a shame that as we approach the start of the Easter\/Passover season, in which many of the world\u2019s believers participate, people are far from accepting the right of others to worship as they see fit without judgment or condemnation. Why is it that many people feel that their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/religious-issues\" target=\"_blank\">religion<\/a> is the one true way to believe in and connect to God?<\/p>\n<p>I can only speculate from my perspective as psychotherapist and Yoruba\/Lucumi priest. Here are some random guesses.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>This attitude is a hedge against feeling inferior or less than. If someone follows the \u201csuperior\u201d faith, then that means that they are superior and everyone else is beneath them.<\/li>\n<li>It is a means of wielding control or having power over others. In other words, only the truly enlightened are capable of ruling, decision-making, or governing. This entitles them to natural resources, land, livestock, workers and so on.<\/li>\n<li>It satisfies a sense of entitlement\u2014to more wealth, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/right-use-of-power\" target=\"_blank\">power<\/a>, prestige, position, material things, and opportunity. In reality, a sense of entitlement is just a defense against feeling shame, unworthiness, and powerlessness.<\/li>\n<li>It is a way of fighting fear\u2014of annihilation, conquest, enslavement.<\/li>\n<li>It represents an urgent demand for respect and reverence. However, in reality, one cannot demand respect; it must be earned. And reverence should be reserved for the divine.<\/li>\n<li>It justifies conquest and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/prejudice-discrimination\" target=\"_blank\">oppression<\/a> of others\u2014nations, individuals, a particular gender (in most cases, women).<\/li>\n<li>It serves as a substitute for good <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/parenting\" target=\"_blank\">parenting<\/a> and can be used to threaten children with punishment on a divine level if they don\u2019t behave.<\/li>\n<li>It is a statement that people feel threatened by anyone who is different than themselves. Perhaps that goes back to instinct\u2014the hardwired flight or fight response.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>So what can we as individuals do to combat this worldwide pathologic response of religious fundamentalists who are ironically supposed to have a love of God and God\u2019s children?<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>For one, we can be aware of our own biases and judgments. This can be a challenge, especially in extremist situations, such as in some parts of the world where women are treated so badly. We can try to all be New Yorkers as described on a New York City subway poster: NYC: where we accept your personal beliefs; where we are judgmental about your shoes. (That\u2019s a joke.)<\/li>\n<li>We can challenge others who claim religious moral superiority when we are in their company, pointing out the weaknesses of their positions (of course, only if it is safe to do so).<\/li>\n<li>We can support individuals, groups, and others who promote tolerance and acceptance of religious differences (and other differences).<\/li>\n<li>By the same token, we can boycott, whenever possible, those who\/that promote intolerance. This statement is ironic in view of a recent news item I heard about the Christian right wanting people to boycott Starbucks, which was supporting acceptance of choice in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/learn-about-therapy\/issues\/relationships\" target=\"_blank\">relationships<\/a>. (Asking New Yorkers to boycott Starbucks is totally unrealistic, I might add.) Probably goes for other parts of the country as well.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019m sure my readers will have something to say about what I have written in this article. Please feel free to offer your own list of examples of reasons why it is so hard for many to coexist and what solutions are possible.<\/p>\n<p>And if you\u2019re a practitioner, have a joyful Easter-Passover holiday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kalila Borghini, LCSW &#8211; The reasons why some people feel the need to claim religious superiority are many, but most arise from feelings of fear or a need for power or control. There are also many ways we can respond, as a society, to push back against these groups and individuals, including being aware of our own biases and making an effort to support or boycott businesses according to their stance on these issues.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":523,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[31,436,437,25,438,381],"class_list":["post-12219","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-psychotherapy-practice","tag-multicultural-concerns","tag-prejudice-discrimination","tag-psychotherapy-issues","tag-religious-issues","tag-spirituality"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12219","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/523"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12219"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12219\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12219"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12219"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12219"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}