{"id":11482,"date":"2012-01-30T15:20:06","date_gmt":"2012-01-30T22:20:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/?p=11482"},"modified":"2015-08-12T08:50:15","modified_gmt":"2015-08-12T15:50:15","slug":"calming-emotional-chaos-grief-0130125","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.goodtherapy.org\/blog\/calming-emotional-chaos-grief-0130125\/","title":{"rendered":"Calming the Emotional Chaos of Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"WomanA death, divorce<\/a>, illness, sudden unemployment, or any major loss<\/a> can create chaos in your life. This emotional fracturing, as well as the practical aftershocks of dealing with estates, lawyers, housing, finances, and doctors often yields intense feelings that can be overwhelming<\/a>.<\/p>\n

When you can\u2019t assimilate another thing, it is crucial to just stop. Even if you have never meditated<\/a>, simply sitting or lying down and paying attention to your breath can\u00a0calm your nervous system and give you the literal breather you need.<\/p>\n

If it is too hard to stay still, take a walk. It is imperative you give yourself a break from the internal chatter and incessant activity that may be consuming every waking moment. When you think you do not have a minute to sit, lie down, or walk, that is when you need the break the most. Take it, and watch the world continue to spin on its axis.<\/p>\n

Practice Beginner’s Mind, Witness Consciousness, and Self-Compassion<\/h2>\n

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Find a Therapist for Grief<\/a><\/h2>\n\t
\n\n\t\t\t\t\n\n\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\n\t\tAdvanced Search<\/a>\n\t<\/form>\n<\/div>A big part of healing through grief is connecting with yourself while putting all the parts back together in a new way that makes you feel safe and whole.\u00a0This process of reconnecting all the emotional, physical, and spiritual dots can be an exhausting and chaotic ride. One minute, there is a sense of control and growing mastery; the next, you are surfing a sea of feelings.<\/p>\n

Part of the immediate task is showing up with what yogis call beginner\u2019s mind and witness consciousness. Beginner\u2019s mind refers to\u00a0an attitude of openness when approaching something new—without preconceived notions—just as a beginner would. This particular grief experience is terra incognita; you haven\u2019t had it before. By abandoning all your ideas about how you \u201cshould\u201d feel or behave, you allow yourself to safely feel what is true in the moment. That cosmic permission slip, coupled with open awareness, allows you to fully experience the moment and all it entails emotionally. While you may want to run from it, the only way out is through it. Avoidance may provide short-term relief, but it often brings long-term pain.<\/p>\n

Achieving witness consciousness means retraining your mind to detach enough for\u00a0objectivity. It is practicing watching something with a neutral perspective and not identifying with it. Both of these yogic techniques encourage you to leave your ego<\/a> outside. You might\u00a0never succeed in completely detaching from your ego, but these practices can allow you to experience the freedom and joy of not taking everything personally, while enhancing your chances for greater inner peace.<\/p>\n

Beginner\u2019s mind, witness consciousness, and self-compassion<\/a> can be\u00a0the trifecta for healing from almost anything. They shore you up, increase your perspective, and allow for enough detachment to see things more clearly.<\/p>\n

Simple Routines Can Help Ease the Chaos<\/h2>\n

Just as in yoga, where each visit to the mat reveals something new, the process of unraveling the threads of grief is fresh every minute. Whether it\u2019s a crying spell, a fit of anger, guilt, or deep sadness, recognizing how each one is unique can keep you open to change and transformation.<\/p>\n

The chaos of grief is sometimes\u00a0caused, in part, by the old issues it triggers, such as abandonment<\/a> and posttraumatic stress<\/a>. During times of acute emotional turmoil, being gentle with yourself can ease the pain. Recognizing unhelpful thought patterns and challenging them as much\u00a0as possible\u00a0may help you to feel better and more in control.<\/p>\n

The chaotic emotional fallout of grief can also be assuaged by establishing simple routines, such as:<\/p>\n