I was recently in a yoga class where the instructor remarked that comfort is said to be the enemy of achievement. I found that quote interesting, considering many of us strive for both comfort and achievement. How can these two concepts be in conflict? Does achievement entail surrendering to agony and pain? Or does being comfortable require remaining stagnant or stuck? If comfort is the enemy of achievement, yet is something we all value, how can we ever make progress?
As the class was paused for a good period of time in a deep squat pose, the instructor went on to tell the fable about a farmer and his donkey.
The story details the fate of a farmer’s donkey that falls into an old well. Unable to find a solution to save the donkey, the farmer decides the animal is old and the well is dried up anyway, so he invites the townspeople to help him fill the well. As they begin shoveling dirt into the hole, the donkey cries out in fear. Soon, however, the donkey grows quiet. As the people look down the well, they are amazed to find what the donkey is doing. With each shovel of dirt, the donkey shakes his back and takes a step up, continuing to do so until he reaches the top of the well and happily trots off.
As the story demonstrates, life inevitably shovels dirt on us—yet every struggle can be turned into a stepping-stone. Sometimes a shift in perspective, rather than the search for comfort, is what we really need in order to advance and achieve.
When we are willing to look at our struggles from a different perspective, we open the doors to finding meaning. We may not get the relief or outcomes we were looking for, but we may be able to give purpose to our hardships. This ability to find meaning and purpose ultimately brings about a level of acceptance, and I’ve found that acceptance does provide a sense of comfort.
Many people come to therapy seeking comfort or relief from the struggles they face. Hopefully, they find some of this through the compassion and validation of a caring therapist. But truly valuable therapy that moves us toward positive growth and change involves more on the part of the individual. It requires a shift in perspective, an openness to finding the silver lining, and the ability to ask the question, “What has this struggle or challenging experience taught me?”
When we are willing to look at our struggles from a different perspective, we open the doors to finding meaning. We may not get the relief or outcomes we were looking for, but we may be able to give purpose to our hardships. This ability to find meaning and purpose ultimately brings about a level of acceptance, and I’ve found that acceptance does provide a sense of comfort.
When you find yourself struggling, stop and ask yourself, “What might the purpose of this experience be? What is the world trying to teach me? What strengths and qualities have I demonstrated (or do I want to demonstrate) amid this ordeal?”
As you seek answers to these and similar questions, you challenge yourself to explore and find more than simply comfort. You dare yourself to go beyond a comfort zone to ultimately discover a wealth of strength, endurance, and determination. Rather than resist the struggle, you lean into the possibility that the struggle is ultimately nudging you toward achievement. The triumph and result may look very different than what you anticipated achievement to be. Yet the lessons and growth you take from any experience may contribute to your greatest successes.
So comfort may in fact be the enemy of achievement, but the ability to shift perspectives, acknowledge a purpose, and celebrate your growth may be the catalyst to ending the war.
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.
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