Save the Sunshine: How to Bottle Up Your Summer

Fresh fruit, lemonade, place settings, and barbecue grill spread across picnic tableEver had a moment you wish you could bottle up for later? Many of us enjoy something enough about summertime that we wish we could save some for another time.

The aim of solution-focused therapy is to harness what serves you—your bottle of contentment, if you will—so you can use it when you need it most. Now is the perfect opportunity to meet with a therapist who can help you bottle up some of your summer, your strengths, or anything else you wish would last.

Summer has its own routines that seem simple and unique, unlike many people’s day-to-day lives. When I ask people what they love about summer, I hear things like eating outside, fresh fruit, camping trips, or no school. While vacations end and kids return to school, a solution-focused therapist wants to deeply understand what is in your bottle of contentment so you can draw upon it in the regular course of your life. For example, what is it about, say, eating outside or camping that you love? Put it in your “bottle” and save it for a Tuesday night in November.

What are your beliefs in the moments you feel contentment? How does the world seem to you? What positive thoughts do you have about yourself and your future? What could you say about your trials, goals, and intentions? When we are happy, we may think we feel happy based on our surroundings, but more often we are happy because of the thoughts we have about our experiences, and summer is a particularly pleasant experience for many.

Well, guess what? You can bring your thoughts with you wherever you go. Writing down sentiments when they are particularly positive and putting them in your “bottle” is a great way to save strength and optimism for a later date.

For example, consider what it is about being on vacation that makes you feel happy. Is it beautiful scenery, quiet and unrushed mornings, time with family, no email in sight? These are things you can put in your “bottle”—in whatever form it might take—and look at several months from now.

I love therapy sessions where the person comes in feeling happy, saying they aren’t sure what to talk about because “everything is going well.” This is the perfect time to build invaluable resources for trying times.

One family I know buys pineapple at their local grocery store once a week just to have a moment that reminds them of Hawaii. Others linger in pajamas whenever possible and disallow devices until noon on weekends. It is a mistake to think that just because we aren’t officially on vacation or out for summer break we can’t change our environment to be happier and more peaceful. You probably know plenty of people who can make themselves unhappy just about anywhere. The power is in our thoughts—what we keep in our “bottle.”

So while vacations don’t last forever and we eventually return to our routines, we can still capture the essence of our happiest moments and draw on them as we need to. The trick is to notice when we feel contentment and then take notes (yes, actual notes—on a piece of paper or your phone) about what we are thinking and believing. This is why I love therapy sessions where the person comes in feeling happy, saying they aren’t sure what to talk about because “everything is going well.” This is the perfect time to build invaluable resources for trying times. We can spend the session stockpiling positive thoughts, beliefs, and other strengths.

Here’s how to bottle up your summer so the good feelings last all year:

  1. Write down some “happy notes.” For example, you might write, “I’m surrounded by my friends,” or, “Being at the beach is relaxing and beautiful,” or, “I love having as much fresh pineapple as I can eat.”
  2. Ask yourself what your “happy notes” tell you. For example, when you are surrounded by your friends, your thoughts might be, “I am loved,” or, “I feel noticed and heard.”
  3. Take note of these beliefs so they can be bottled up and applied to your daily life. Imagine opening up your “bottle” on a particularly dull or burdensome day. You can identify that you want to feel loved and heard. Then, turn this into action! Call a few friends, set up a lunch date, or plan a potluck for the coming weekend.
  4. Try to take a small habit or enjoyable aspect of your summer into the rest of the year. For example, if you enjoyed playing board games with your family on your camping trip, set aside a television-free evening to do that outside or under blankets! Most of these experiences are easy to adopt without disrupting any productivity from your regular routine, especially on weekends.
  5. Let happy moments or a particularly good vacation inspire positive life changes. It could be that you want to start exercising, spend more time with friends, give up caffeine, or unplug from social media. Why not use the energy from these happy moments to sketch out a plan to take you toward your goals?

When people come to therapy on a “good day,” we talk in great detail about what they believe about themselves and their future. Put simply, there are things we can access on positive days that feel out of reach on days when we are grumpy. If we can capture these things and bottle them up in session, we can then use them to counter unproductive negative beliefs at other times.

If you want to squeeze out all the sunshine in life that you can, summer is a great time to pursue therapy.

© Copyright 2016 GoodTherapy.org. All rights reserved. Permission to publish granted by Lindsey Antin, MA, MFT, therapist in Berkeley, California

The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

  • 9 comments
  • Leave a Comment
  • Laura

    Laura

    August 11th, 2016 at 7:26 AM

    Well this is something that means a little different memory for me but I always loved helping my Nanny pick veggies from the garden and then cleaning and canning them. I guess those were the things that not as many people do anymore, but that always reminds me of summers spent with them.

  • jim

    jim

    August 11th, 2016 at 10:05 AM

    What a great idea, and really can be done anytime of year.

  • Cam

    Cam

    August 11th, 2016 at 1:43 PM

    I know that we are all always sad when summer vacation ends and the school year officially begins. We make so many wonderful memories each summer whether we go somewhere or we stay at home, and this is a way that we can always retrieve these memories even when the hustle of the school year has us going bananas.

  • glenn

    glenn

    August 12th, 2016 at 2:05 PM

    I live in the south
    done with summer
    ready for some cooler temperatures
    football games and campfires
    that’s where the good family memories are made for me.

  • carter

    carter

    August 13th, 2016 at 7:38 AM

    My parents started this tradition with me and my brother when we were really young so it makes sense that he and I both now do the same thing with our own kids. Things that they might not eventually remember we now ensure that they will with this little project that I think both of us keep going year round.

  • Everly

    Everly

    August 15th, 2016 at 7:43 AM

    The last time the whole family went to Disney World we made a point to write down all of the wonderful things that we did, saw, laughed about and ate. It is fun sometimes to get those journals out and relive one of our best family vacations ever.’

    The kids went back to school today so I am always a little wistful on those days, but when you know that you have recorded all of those cherished memories with your family, it makes them growing up just a little bit easier.

  • Mica

    Mica

    August 16th, 2016 at 7:10 AM

    thoughts on finding a solution based therapist in my area?

  • The GoodTherapy.org Team

    The GoodTherapy.org Team

    August 16th, 2016 at 7:35 AM

    Hi Mica,
    You can search for a solution-based therapist here: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

    We wish you the best in your search! :)
    Kind regards,
    The GoodTherapy.org Team

  • nina

    nina

    August 17th, 2016 at 10:48 AM

    journaling is always a good idea- great way to hold onto memories that you might forget about if you don’t write it down

Leave a Comment

By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org's Terms and Conditions of Use.

* Indicates required field.

GoodTherapy uses cookies to personalize content and ads to provide better services for our users and to analyze our traffic. By continuing to use this site you consent to our cookies.