Does Sex on the First Date Mean There Won’t Be a Second?

Empty messy bed

That good-looking catch who hit on you at the restaurant is as tempting as jelly to peanut butter. Even though we’ve been told that having sex on the first encounter rarely leads to true love, going all-out on a first date does not have to end in disaster. According to new research, people who jump right into bed are just as likely to find themselves in long-term relationships as those who delay the sexual experience. Tracey Cox, a sex expert and columnist, summed up the findings of the research in a recent article. Researchers surveyed 640 American adults and found that those who got down to business immediately had equal chances of unending relationship happiness as those who did not. But despite the fact research appears to level the playing field, Cox advises against jumping into bed on the first encounter.

Getting to know someone is easier when the element of sex is removed. Cox suggests finding out if you are compatible, if you have similar values and dreams, before diving into the sheets. “This requires logical thinking and objectivity,” Cox says. “Good sex rather effectively robs us of both instantly.” Becoming sexually intimate with someone obscures your vision. Rather than seeing the personality behind the person, you see mostly the physical, sexual side of this potential partner. By the time the scales fall from your eyes, you may be too emotionally ensnared to end the relationship, even though it becomes clear that this person is not right for you.

If, however, you find yourself in this situation and you really do want to take a stab at a relationship, stay the course. Cox says it is important to effectively communicate how you feel about embarking on this journey and what you expect from it. Another surefire way to give that initial spark some additional fuel is to stay put. Rather than running out the door in the morning, grabbing your shoes and keys, Cox suggests staying for a while and enjoying the moment. Snuggling with the person who just rocked your world can be more powerful than any words you could say.

Cox, Tracey. Can first date sex EVER lead to long-lasting love? (n.d.): n. pag. Mail Online. 17 Oct. 2012. Web. 22 Oct. 2012.

© Copyright 2012 All rights reserved.

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  • Abigail


    November 5th, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    It’s better to wait it out for a while.
    A good man will be willing to wait.
    As a matter of fact, if her really is a good man then the thought of having sex on the first date would never even cross his mind because he would know that this was a bad idea too.

  • Audrey


    November 5th, 2012 at 11:25 PM

    Well if your looking for a fling then go ahead but if you are looking at something serious give yourself some time and stay away from the sheets!

  • laura p

    laura p

    November 6th, 2012 at 5:04 AM

    If I was a guy, and quite obviously I am not, I guess I would wonder just how insecure a woman is who would go ahead and have sex with me on a first date. I don’t really think there are too many men who would turn this down, and I am not trying to be rude, just honest, but I don’t think that this would then be someone that they would ever be able to respect at any point. This is giving away one of the most important parts pf you, really just fro free, maybe dinner and a movie. I know that I am worth far more than that and I want other women to know that they are too.

  • Rain L

    Rain L

    November 6th, 2012 at 9:26 AM

    I always wondered about the validity of the “no sex on the first date” argument. While I may not think it is the greatest of all ideas, I’m glad to hear it isn’t the worst either. And, I know my world is relatively small, but I have had more than a few friends who had sex on the first date and ended up in a long term relationship with that person. Now, maybe the reason they broke up was because they got too busy too soon. But, if a long term relationship is your goal, it’s nice to know that you have early sex options.

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