That good-looking catch who hit on you at the restaurant is as tempting as jelly to peanut butter. Even though we’ve been told that having sex on the first encounter rarely leads to true love, going all-out on a first date does not have to end in disaster. According to new research, people who jump right into bed are just as likely to find themselves in long-term relationships as those who delay the sexual experience. Tracey Cox, a sex expert and columnist, summed up the findings of the research in a recent article. Researchers surveyed 640 American adults and found that those who got down to business immediately had equal chances of unending relationship happiness as those who did not. But despite the fact research appears to level the playing field, Cox advises against jumping into bed on the first encounter.
Getting to know someone is easier when the element of sex is removed. Cox suggests finding out if you are compatible, if you have similar values and dreams, before diving into the sheets. “This requires logical thinking and objectivity,” Cox says. “Good sex rather effectively robs us of both instantly.” Becoming sexually intimate with someone obscures your vision. Rather than seeing the personality behind the person, you see mostly the physical, sexual side of this potential partner. By the time the scales fall from your eyes, you may be too emotionally ensnared to end the relationship, even though it becomes clear that this person is not right for you.
If, however, you find yourself in this situation and you really do want to take a stab at a relationship, stay the course. Cox says it is important to effectively communicate how you feel about embarking on this journey and what you expect from it. Another surefire way to give that initial spark some additional fuel is to stay put. Rather than running out the door in the morning, grabbing your shoes and keys, Cox suggests staying for a while and enjoying the moment. Snuggling with the person who just rocked your world can be more powerful than any words you could say.
Cox, Tracey. Can first date sex EVER lead to long-lasting love? (n.d.): n. pag. Mail Online. 17 Oct. 2012. Web. 22 Oct. 2012. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2219102/Can-date-sex-EVER-lead-long-lasting-love-MailOnlines-new-sex-columnist-Tracey-Cox-gives-expert-view.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
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