In a recent article, Princeton graduate and writer Nina Bahadur detailed the results of a newly released study from the University of Toronto. In the study, 44 couples who had been together for anywhere from three to 39 years took part in a 21-day online survey. The couples reported how often they had sex and their individual levels of sexual desire. The couples were then reevaluated four months after the study concluded. The goal was to determine how and why some couples maintain vibrant and thriving sex lives while others don’t.
The study found that, yes, more sex can increase each partner’s satisfaction with the relationship. But, no, having more sex does not always mean that the relationship will be out of this world.
The results of the study revealed that the average number of times couples reported having sex was once a week. This held true regardless of whether the couples were young or old, married or unmarried, childless or parents. And yet, the happiness levels of the participants varied. Bahadur said, “Participants with a stronger motivation to respond to a partner’s needs reported higher levels of daily desire, and sustained this desire in the four-month follow-up period.” In contrast, those who had less desire to meet the sexual needs of their partners also had lower sex drives of their own. This resulted in a loss for both partners; overall, these couples had lower levels of overall satisfaction.
The answer to the question “Does more sex equal a better marriage?” Yes and no. Yes, if your partner derives their relationship happiness from having frequent sex and feeling sexually desired. No, more sex does not guarantee a better relationship if your partner does not measure relationship happiness by how many times you have sex. The takeaway from this is simple: Relationship satisfaction comes when each partner gets their needs met, and is willing to do what it takes to make that happen. And for some people, one of those needs is having more sex.
Bahadur, Nina. (8 Apr. 2013). Having more sex in long-term relationships can be relatively simple, study finds. Huffington Post (n.d.): n. pag. 1Web. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/17/having-more-sex-sexual-desire-long-term-relationship_n_3104302.html
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