Does More Sex Equal a Better Marriage?

Couple in bed togetherIn a recent article, Princeton graduate and writer Nina Bahadur detailed the results of a newly released study from the University of Toronto. In the study, 44 couples who had been together for anywhere from three to 39 years took part in a 21-day online survey. The couples reported how often they had sex and their individual levels of sexual desire. The couples were then reevaluated four months after the study concluded. The goal was to determine how and why some couples maintain vibrant and thriving sex lives while others don’t.

The study found that, yes, more sex can increase each partner’s satisfaction with the relationship. But, no, having more sex does not always mean that the relationship will be out of this world.

The results of the study revealed that the average number of times couples reported having sex was once a week. This held true regardless of whether the couples were young or old, married or unmarried, childless or parents. And yet, the happiness levels of the participants varied. Bahadur said, “Participants with a stronger motivation to respond to a partner’s needs reported higher levels of daily desire, and sustained this desire in the four-month follow-up period.” In contrast, those who had less desire to meet the sexual needs of their partners also had lower sex drives of their own. This resulted in a loss for both partners; overall, these couples had lower levels of overall satisfaction.

The answer to the question “Does more sex equal a better marriage?” Yes and no. Yes, if your partner derives their relationship happiness from having frequent sex and feeling sexually desired. No, more sex does not guarantee a better relationship if your partner does not measure relationship happiness by how many times you have sex. The takeaway from this is simple: Relationship satisfaction comes when each partner gets their needs met, and is willing to do what it takes to make that happen. And for some people, one of those needs is having more sex.

Bahadur, Nina. (8 Apr. 2013). Having more sex in long-term relationships can be relatively simple, study finds. Huffington Post (n.d.): n. pag. 1Web.

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  • Dell


    May 10th, 2013 at 6:14 PM

    While I logically know that more sex is not going to aleays mean a better relationship, what I do know is that for most me sex is something that is vital for a strong relationship.

    It makes us feel needed and wanted as well as connected to our partner. It shows that you care and it keeps the two of you close. I think that those few little things are critical to keeping a marriage healthy and strong.

  • JOE


    May 10th, 2013 at 11:35 PM

    More sex=better marriage?Not really.There isnt much sex in an unhappy marriage anyway.The opposite is true for a happy and satisfying one on the other hand.It could work either way.But for me,sex is just one dimension of marriage-something that has so many dimensions to it.Yes for some people it could be more important but generally it is not all that matters.

  • Katheryn


    May 11th, 2013 at 5:14 AM

    “Better” is a term that is kind of difficult to quantify, don’t you think?
    What may be viewed as “better” by me might be perceived as hell on earth for someone else.
    If we are going to look at it in these terms we really need to use terms and information that is actually comparable from one couple to another, not something that can mean vastly different things to other people.

  • bailee l

    bailee l

    May 13th, 2013 at 4:08 AM

    The general rule is that men are going to want more sex and think that this leads to a better relationship, and this is what many women have believed for a long time too. But don’t you think that some of our most satisfying relationships are the ones that don’t always have to revolve around sex? Sometimes sex is wht makes the whole thing so complicated.

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