Monogamy

close-up-of-mature-couple-holding-handsMonogamy is the practice of mating with only one mate at a time.

What Is Monogamy?

While the definition of monogamy can seem obvious, there are actually several competing definitions, and our understanding of monogamy is ever-shifting. In biology, monogamy is defined as mating with only one partner for the duration of a mating season. Even this definition is hotly contested, as many so-called monogamous animals procreate with a partner other than the monogamous partner.

Among humans, monogamy is typically defined as a long-term commitment to only one partner—usually through marriage or cohabitation. In more recent years, monogamy has been treated as an orientation in contrast to polygamy or polyamory. Polygamy is the practice of taking more than one spouse, and polyamory is the practice of engaging in multiple romantic relationships. Many ostensibly monogamous marriages have brief periods of nonmonogamy during which one spouse has relations with someone outside of the marriage. Psychologists also often refer to serial monogamy. This is the practice of engaging in only one monogamous relationship at a time, but having several monogamous relationships over the life span. A person who has been married three times, for example, might be called a serial monogamist.

Monogamy in Popular Culture

Until relatively recently, monogamy was widely accepted as the only healthy way to have a relationship in the United States. However, increasing awareness of open relationships, polyamory, and other arrangements have changed this understanding. Being monogamous or otherwise in relationships does not necessarily directly affect mental health by itself. That said, violations of agreements to be monogamous can cause severe anxiety, jealousy, depression, and relationship problems for one or both partners. By contrast, people engaged in openly nonmonogamouos relationships tend not to experience these effects.

Advice columnist Dan Savage popularized the term monogamish to refer to couples that are primarily monogamous and highly committed to one another but who are also open to the possibility of occasional outside sexual relationships.

References:

  1. Fuentes, A. (2012). Race, monogamy, and other lies they told you: Busting myths about human nature. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press.

Last Updated: 08-12-2015