Dating sites are quickly becoming the most common way to meet people. There are sites tailored to every passion, age, and gender. Even those in relationships can find websites dedicated to finding people who are open to polyamory or encouraging infidelity. Websites targeted to older people are springing up everywhere, too. Senior sites and sites for people over 50 are becoming extremely popular. This could be due to the fact that many people don’t feel compelled to hit the bar scene or the social circuit as they mature. Perhaps that was how they met their previous partner. But according to a recent article by Lisa Firestone, author, psychologist, and relationship expert, there are numerous advantages for people who date later in life.
Firestone admits that one of the biggest and easiest to overcome hurdles related to dating in our 40s, 50s, and beyond is that we feel we are too old to fall in love. Firestone thinks that if approached in the right way, dating later in life can be the most rewarding experience of all. She says that many of us find ourselves repeating old patterns and winding up with the same type of partner in every relationship. Rather than see this as a negative, Firestone suggests taking advantage of our experiences as a chance to look at the patterns in our past relationships. We can examine what we have done in the past, as well as the type of person we are attracted to and why. We can look long and hard at the motives for our actions and why we feel we are led to repeat the same mistakes. Once we are armed with that information, we can then break these habits and move on to relationships that will provide us with respect, companionship, and love.
As we enter our golden years, dating actually becomes easier. According to Firestone, by the time we hit our 40s and 50s, we are more independent than we were decades before. There is no pressure to find someone to build a family with because we often already have established families. There is little need for financial support because most of us have found our financial footing and have learned how to rely on our own resources. In-law spats are less dramatic, college financing is most often a thing of the past, and individual identities are formed and solidified. “Instead, you are simply looking for true companionship — someone who makes you happy, a person you enjoy spending your time with,” says Firestone. When two people can come into a relationship whole and secure without expectations of unrealistic needs being met, all that’s left is to have fun with each other. And that’s what dating should be, at any age.
Firestone, Lisa. (2013). Advantages of dating after 40. (n.d.): n. pag. Huffington Post Healthy Living. Web. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-firestone/dating-midlife_b_2919429.html
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