Does this song sound familiar?
“Every Breath You Take” by The Police:
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you
Some people think it’s a love song, but according to Sting himself, it’s the opposite—as he put it, “very, very sinister and ugly.†Does it remind you of your relationship with your girlfriend? The song is about a stalker, someone who watches every single thing their partner does or wants to do and takes away their freedom. In such a relationship, a person might feel safe and loved at first, in a secure space, but that space quickly turns into a prison.
You say you’ve read many articles about insecurity and the damage it can cause. I am not going to suggest any more books or articles to you; I think it’s time you stop reading and start doing. I think you already know all you need to.
In the kind of relationship you describe—of possessor and possessed—both partners are insecure. You ask if you should leave. I ask why you need to ask. What do you want to do? I suggest that you seek professional help and a support group so you can learn to listen to yourself, act on your true needs and desires, and develop better, healthier relationships that will help you honor your own inner guide and grow.
Respectfully,
Lynn