In our hyperconnected, always-on world, it’s become almost trendy to joke about being “bad at adulting.” If you’re struggling to remember to pay bills on time, keep your apartment clean, or be on time despite your best intentions, you might just tell yourself “you’re bad at adulting,” but there could be more to it.
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects an estimated 7 million children and 6% of adults in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Yet, countless adults remain undiagnosed, attributing their daily struggles to personal shortcomings rather than recognizing the signs of a condition that’s both treatable and manageable.
Below, we break down common misconceptions and easy-to-spot signs of ADHD and point you towards solutions. With intentionality and support from medication or therapists, like those from GoodTherapy, you can tackle your ADHD and thrive in your day-to-day life without feeling stifled.
When most people think of ADHD, they picture a young child bouncing off classroom walls, unable to sit still or focus. This stereotype has done significant damage to public understanding of the condition, particularly for women and adults who don’t fit this narrow profile.
Women and girls are particularly likely to be overlooked because they often internalize their symptoms. Instead of acting out, they might daydream, struggle with self-esteem, or develop anxiety as a secondary condition. In fact, recent research found that girls with ADHD are significantly more likely to be diagnosed later in life, if at all.
Adult ADHD rarely involves running around a classroom. Instead, it might manifest in much more covert and counterintuitive ways, such as:
Many adults discover they have ADHD only when their child is diagnosed, or when life demands exceed their coping mechanisms. Major life transitions such as starting college, beginning a career, or having children can overwhelm existing coping strategies and reveal underlying ADHD symptoms.
Understanding the signs of ADHD and challenging common stereotypes can provide you with answers to the questions you might be asking about yourself or your child. It can also encourage healthy conversations around ADHD in the space and encourage individuals to seek professional help for this treatable condition.
Despite decades of research, misconceptions about ADHD persist. Let’s address some of the most harmful myths so you can remain knowledgeable, informed, and confident that you might not just be “bad at adulting” but actually dealing with something more:
Our modern environment presents unique challenges for people with ADHD. The constant ping of notifications, the pressure to multitask, and the overwhelming amount of information we process daily can exacerbate ADHD symptoms or mask them entirely.
Being aware of the elements that can worsen or actually hide ADHD in yourself or others is key to addressing the condition at its core. Consider these modern stressors:
The average person consumes the equivalent of 174 newspapers’ worth of information daily.
From choosing what to watch on streaming platforms to navigating endless product options online, we make thousands of decisions daily.
The expectation of immediate responses to emails, texts, and social media creates constant pressure and interruption.
While it can be hard to avoid an influx of information in our day-to-day, there are strategies for minimizing this overload and avoiding burnout, whether that’s by minimizing doomscrolling, taking breaks from social media, or talking to a licensed therapist from GoodTherapy.
It’s important to talk with an expert before diagnosing yourself with ADHD. Still, recognizing common symptoms of ADHD is crucial for both recognizing you’re probably not “bad at adulting” and also finding the help you need. Consider these adult ADHD examples:
Parents with ADHD are ones who probably always considered themselves “scattered” but managed well enough until having children. Now, managing schedules, activities, and household responsibilities feels impossible, and they’re constantly forgetting important items, running late, and feeling like they’re failing.
These adults are intelligent and creative but struggle to complete projects on time. They procrastinate until the last minute, then work frantically to meet deadlines. Despite their talents, they’re viewed as unreliable and may be passed over for promotions.
These individuals have always attributed struggles with organization and time management to laziness or lack of willpower. They’ve likely developed anxiety and depression, never realizing that difficulties might stem from ADHD, rather than not being equipped to be an adult.
If you recognize yourself in these descriptions, approach the possibility of ADHD with curiosity rather than judgment. Having ADHD is nothing to be afraid of, and it doesn’t mean you’re broken or flawed: it means your brain works differently, and you may benefit from different strategies and support. Take the following next steps to set yourself up for success and discover the sides of ADHD you might not know:
Learn about ADHD from reputable sources like the National Institute of Mental Health or CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder).
Keep a journal of daily challenges and patterns. Note when you struggle most and what strategies help.
A qualified GoodTherapy professional can conduct a comprehensive assessment and help you understand your symptoms in context.
Online communities and support groups can provide valuable insights and reduce feelings of isolation.
The narrative that you’re just “bad at adulting” is not only unhelpful but also potentially harmful if it prevents you from getting the support you need. Your struggles are real, and you deserve compassion, especially from yourself. Remember, recognizing ADHD is about understanding your brain so you can work with it rather than against it. With proper support, strategies, and sometimes medication, people with ADHD can thrive in all areas of life.
If you’re struggling with symptoms that might be related to ADHD, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. Getting answers can be the first step toward a more manageable and fulfilling life where you can complete that to-do list, make decisions, navigate relationships, and more with ease.
The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org.