Parenting

Raising a human being is a daunting task. Babies may look uncomplicated but they are not! They already have at least half their personalities encoded within their genes; it is the parent’s task to work with each child to bring out that youngster’s potential. Depending on the “gene package” of the child, parents may find themselves with an easy job or a difficult task ahead of them. What if their child is anxious by nature? Or what if their child is “difficult?” What if their child has learning disabilities, attention deficits, Asperger’s Syndrome or any other physical, mental or emotional condition? Even if their child is just “normal” there will be many bumps along the parenting journey.

• Influence and Limitation of Parents
• Psychotherapy for Parents
• Psychological Issues Associated with Parenting
• Learning How to Positively Communicate with Child in Therapy - Case Example

Influence and Limitation of Parents

Today’s parents know that what they do and what they say during the two decades of raising a child really matters.  Although they can’t control all the factors involved in human development – birth order, peer pressures, traumatic events, school experiences and all the rest – they know that they will have more impact on their child than any other person ever will. And they want that impact to be positive.
 
However, parents have limitations. They don’t have all the answers. Sometimes their own childhood experiences have left them with deficient models of parenting (i.e. growing up in a volatile home, living through a difficult divorce, having ill or unavailable parents, living with addiction and so on and so forth). Sometimes their own genes can make parenting more challenging (i.e. experiencing their own issues with anger, depression or anxiety). Sometimes, parents are simply facing issues with their child that they don’t know how to handle: a child who refuses to be toilet trained, or one who gets bullied at school or one who wants to drop out of college before graduating  - there are so many possible parenting challenges: parents need someone to turn to for guidance. ~ Overview Provided By Sarah Chana Radcliffe

Psychotherapy for Parents

Psychological Issues Associated with Parenting

Parenting issues can trigger deep levels of stress. The stress may manifest as chronic worry, deep depression, chronic irritability or explosive anger. Sometimes parenting engenders Acute Stress Disorder or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (such as when a mother has had a traumatic birthing experience or a parent has had to deal with the loss of a child). Although psychotherapy and counseling can be helpful for all of these conditions, sometimes supplemented by alternative treatments such as Bach Flower Therapy, acupuncture, herbal medicine and so on, the medical model also offers diagnosis and treatment that can also help some individuals.

Temporary help from psychotropic medication while a person undergoes psychotherapy can help the person continue to function well at home and work. However, unless the sufferer also does psychotherapy, chances are that they will have to stay on medicine indefinitely. Medicine can hold symptoms at bay but it does not treat the underlying causes of stress. By treating those underlying causes and teaching people how to prevent the reoccurrence of overwhelming stress, psychotherapy can reduce or eliminate the need for psychotropic medication. ~ Overview provided by Sarah Chana Radcliffe

Learning How to Positively Communicate with Child in Therapy - Case Example

Sandy, 30, first made an appointment to see a therapist because she was at her wit’s end with her 4 year old son Jay. Jay was, according to Sandy, “a real trouble maker.” No matter how much she punished him, he never improved. He didn’t listen, he was disrespectful, he was aggressive toward his younger sister. Sandy just didn’t know what to do anymore. Sandy needed some parenting options. Her old techniques weren’t working. It was obvious that she was in a very negative cycle with Jay – a cycle that needed to be broken. Her therapist advised her to refrain from all discipline for a full week. The therapist explained to her that in the second week, she could start using a parenting strategy called “The 80-20 Rule” – a ratio describing the amount of positive communication compared to not-good-feeling communication that a parent needs to have with a child. Positive communication includes joking, giving treats, showing affection, offering positive feedback and many more “good feeling” communications; while not-good-feeling communication includes, among other things,  all criticisms, corrections, signs of anger, threats of discipline, discipline and all instructions. The therapist explained that when parents apply The 80-20 Rule, behavioral problems almost always disappear. She taught Sandy how to use positive forms of guidance to replace the need for most discipline and also showed her how to use a special form of discipline (for those few remaining times that discipline might be necessary) that removes all parental anger and doesn’t harm the child in any way. The therapist also gave her other techniques for reducing her irritation and increasing her patience. After four sessions, Sandy was thrilled with her “new child.” She went back to her therapist a month later to review her strategies and to ask some questions about her younger daughter. As the children grew, Sandy would consult with her therapist sporadically to help her find strategies for dealing with challenges along the way.

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