Midlife Crisis / Midlife Transition

Overview of Midlife Crisis / Midlife Transition: It has been said that youth sees a vision of possibilities before it, while maturity sees a series of choices behind it. As we age, our choices may seem to decrease, regrets may pile up, our sense of invincibility and energy is diminished, and we must begin to face our own mortality and that of everyone we know. Accepting the end of youth and beginning the process of aging is a difficulty that brings many people to therapy.

Sometimes, in an attempt to stave off feelings of grief or anxiety that can accompany maturity, people engage in what might be called “regression;” they may have an affair, buy a new car, stay out late, abuse drugs or alcohol, or otherwise try to recapture the exhilaration of youth. Such behaviors may be somewhat normal, and, for those that are not unsafe, may be nothing to worry about. However, they cannot do the impossible; we still age, and, if we do not embrace that process on some level, the gifts of maturity – wisdom, peace, a sense of accomplishment – may be lost in a vain attempt to recapture what cannot be recaptured.

Of course, we need not lose a youthful spirit, a sense of wonder and possibility, and our desire for adventure just because we reach a certain age. In a sense, the heart of the human spirit is ageless and timeless, and the joys of youth can also be the joys of adulthood. If we do not find healthful ways to experience the thrill of life, unhealthful ways may arise. Therapy can help sort out the difference.

A sense of accomplishment is important at midlife, and if it is lacking, we may battle against the ceaseless march of time, resulting in frustration and even despair. Making sense of our life’s contribution and recognizing our strengths and accomplishments is important in making peace with the aging process.

Midlife transitions, which affect both men and women, can also be difficult on our close friends, family, and partners. Therapy can help not only those going through a difficult transition, but also those who surround us and want to give and receive support and love.

There is no particular diagnosis for a midlife transition, but it is possible an adjustment disorder could be diagnosed, or, in more serious cases, depression or anxiety.

Case Examples of Midlife Crisis:

Caleb, 43, comes to therapy at the request of his wife, who is “worried about me.” Caleb reports he’s been drinking more often, spending more money, and, unbeknownst to his wife, thinking of going to a prostitute. Caleb calls this a “midlife crisis” and reports he thinks it will all be over in a few months and “things will get back to normal.” The therapist helps Caleb identify just what the “crisis” is, and Caleb begins to see that he has been depressed for some time, feeling that his youth has ended and that he has not accomplished in life what he wanted to. He also expresses disappointment that his wife is not more adventurous, and that she has put on a great deal of weight recently, but he does not know how to talk to her about this. The therapist recommends they begin join sessions, and in couple’s therapy Caleb and his wife are able to discuss some difficult issues between them, renewing the strength of their marriage, and beginning to face the challenges of again together, instead of separately.

Judith, 49, seeks therapy for depression and anxiety. She cannot identify any particular trigger to these feelings. The therapist helps Judith uncover some worries about aging, as well as several major regrets about her earlier life. Through the process of talking about these regrets, preparing for the aging process, and engaging in some new activities, Judith is able to begin making peace with what she comes to call, half-jokingly, the universal enemy: time.

Therapy for Midlife Crisis / Midlife Transition: There is a wide range of Psychotherapy Treatment Models or types of therapy used in the treatment of midlife crisis / midlife transition. Most of these approaches fall into three historic camps of psychology: Psychoanalytic / Psychodynamic approaches; Behaviorism and; Humanism. Regardless of the type of therapy, there are some generally agreed upon elements of healthy therapy which are universal to all forms of psychotherapy. Before beginning therapy for midlife crisis or any other issue, it is helpful to familiarize oneself with these elements.

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Midlife Crisis / Midlife Transition Article Summaries