Forgiveness

When one hears the word “forgiveness” the mind is possibly drawn to its religious connotation; however, forgiveness is much more than just a religious issue. Forgiveness applies to any situation in which a person feels wronged, has resentment toward another, and so forth. Forgiveness does not mean you approve of or accept a wrong doing.

Reasons forgiveness may be necessary include:

• Perceived offense against self or close friends or family

• Perceived mistakes or differences between ethics or morals

• Inconsistencies with self and/or others

Forgiveness of One's Self
How Psychotherapy Can Help with Forgiveness
Physical Problems Correlated with Lack of Forgiveness
Resources

Forgiveness of One's Self

Forgiveness is not unique just to forgiving others. Many times, forgiveness of one's own self is necessary. As one's own worst critic, people are often hurting themselves more than others are hurting them. In such instances, the forgiveness needs to be for oneself rather than someone else. Forgiveness is the conclusion of those destructive feelings toward someone else, coming to grips or finding a “happy place” with the situation that caused the anger or other negative emotion(s) toward another or self. Letting go of bitterness and/or grudges not only allows for more productive living, but also opens the doors to healthier or renewed relationships, less hostility and stress, greater psychological and spiritual well-being, less symptoms of anxiety and depression, less risk of substance and alcohol abuse and increased physical health.

How Psychotherapy Can Help with Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an integral part of the psychotherapy process because we often have parts of ourselves that we're unhappy with. For example, parts of our personality may be self-destructive or hurtful to others. Typically, the first step in changing these parts is through having compassion and forgiveness for them.

Not forgiving or holding a grudge may lead to anger, bitterness, and emotional unrest. Mental health is easily affected by the destructive emotions tied to not forgiving oneself or someone else for their misdoings or perceived misdoings. Psychotherapy may be proactive in reducing negative emotions, allowing for better understanding of the situation(s) in which forgiveness is needed, and in taking positive steps to forgiving. Psychotherapy can help decrease depression and anxiety in a holistic way and offer healing and recovery. Psychotherapy helps treat the mental and emotional symptoms of not forgiving, and can help facilitate a forgiveness process.

Physical Problems Correlated with Lack of Forgiveness

The pain of not forgiving someone or self may take its toll on the physical body and mental and emotional areas of life. If grudges and bitterness of not forgiving leads to substance and/or alcohol abuse, rehabilitation may be necessary. If those negative emotions have led to high blood pressure, this can create a host of other medical problems in which medication may be needed. Mentally, the mind may wear down and the physical body and sometimes be helped through medication such as antidepressants or anti-anxiety medicine. Medications, rehabilitation and other medical methods may treat the physical and mental symptoms of lack of forgiveness, but cannot treat to emotional symptoms.

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