Aging & Geriatric Issues
Overview of Aging & Geriatic Issues: Aging is a natural process, but that doesn’t mean it won’t present challenges – both for the aging person and for their family. Older adults may have great difficulty transitioning to retirement, facing their mortality, dealing with frailty or medical conditions, adjusting to the deaths of friends, peers, and partners, avoiding isolation in the wake of many such deaths, finding enjoyable, meaningful activities, and taking care of their own basic needs in the presence of Alzheimer’s disease or other forms of dementia, which affect approximately one in ten Americans of retirement age.
The Medical Model and Aging: One of the challenges of dealing with aging is distinguishing the normal challenges of growing older from signs of actual physical or mental illness. Many people older than age 65 live happy and healthy independent lives. Some changes in cognition are a normal part of the aging process. Researchers have found that healthy older adults experience mild decline in the areas of visual and verbal memory, visuospatial abilities, immediate memory, or the ability to name objects. Mild hearing loss, increased frailty of the body, diminished sleep, and mild to moderate changes in appetite and energy level may be normal parts of growing older.
A professional therapist can help older adults to dealing with these kinds of changes, and to distinguish them from a serious health condition such as Alzheimer’s disease or Parkinson’s disease (a referral to a psychiatrist or internist may be necessary).
Therapy can help older adults who may have difficulty with the transitions of aging to manage their emotions, find new sources of enjoyment and meaning, and find new support systems. It can help people face their fears of death, if they have such fears (and who doesn’t?) and deal with grief over the passings of friends and family. It can also assist family members who may be caretaking their elder relatives – assist them in dealing with their emotions, communication issues (especially likely if an elder has some form of dementia), and community resources.
Possible diagnoses associated with aging might be the various forms of dementia (although these are technically medical, not strictly psychological disorders), and in some cases depression or anxiety.
Case Example of Aging & Geriatric Issues:
Rosa, 72, is brought to therapy by her daughter, Maria. Maria has been visiting her mother every day for five years, ever since Maria’s father/Rosa’s husband died, leaving Rosa alone. Maria helps Rosa shop and cook and clean, and keep her company. But lately, Rosa needs more and more help, and Maria feel she cannot meet her mother’s needs any more. Rosa is irritated by this and angrily tells her daughter “you don’t even care about me.” The therapist takes a thorough personal history of the family, and suspects Rosa is suffering from a form of dementia. A referral to a physician confirms this. The therapist works with Maria to find appropriate, affordable, professional services for Rosa, including an Adult Day Center and an in-home nurse that Rosa’s insurance covers. The therapist also helps Maria and Rosa understand the symptoms of Rosa’s illness, helps Maria deal with feelings of guilt as well as communication difficulties, and facilitates joint sessions to help the two talk about what Rosa is going through.
Therapy for Aging & Geriatric Issues: There is a wide range of Psychotherapy Treatment Models or types of therapy used in the treatment of aging and geriatric issues. Most of these approaches fall into three historic camps of psychology: Psychoanalytic / Psychodynamic approaches; Behaviorism and; Humanism. Regardless of the type of therapy, there are some generally agreed upon elements of healthy therapy which are universal to all forms of psychotherapy. Before beginning therapy for aging or any other issue, it is helpful to familiarize oneself with these elements.
Books Related To Aging & Geriatric Issues:
If there is something important you'd like us to consider adding to this page, please feel free to suggest your ideas.
Please add your comments about Aging & Geriatric Issues - (click here to add a comment)
This was a very interesting article. I think when we are in this final stage, we want to do as much as possible and live life to the fullest if capable. Death is scary to me, and for some reason, I find myself thinking more about it now, then I used to. Hopefully when I get to this Ninth stage, It won't bother me as much.
I believe that the elderly are wiser and have more knowledge as they age and reach this last stage. I think we need to let the elderly live their last days the way they want whether it may be thru therapy or something else. I believe no one is too old for therapy and anyone no matter the age can benefit from it.
I think that if you are comfortable for the most part with the choices and decisions that you have made throughout your lifetime there should no fear of aging and getting older. You should look at it as the best is still yet to come.
Thanks Dylan. That does make a lot of sense, but what i find myself thinking of the most, is my loved ones... What will I do if something happens to my son (16) I guess since he started driving, i have this fear that something is going to happen. I just want him to live a long happy life.
I begin thinking of my own mortality and I guess it does not really scare me for me, but I am afraid for my daughter and for all of the others that I will leave behind. It worries me that if something happened to me today, are all of my affairs in order? Who will take care of my child and wife? Maybe these are different fears than what I will feel when I reach the latter stages of my life because I know there will be other things that frighten and scare me then. I hope that I will lead a long and full life with no regrets but who can say for sure. I think it takes a very special person to make it through the entire process of living and dying without ever feeling fear and some remorse.
If you've got your priorities right and your investments right, old age takes care of itself
I think all of us are scared of dying and the question would be to what degree? It is intimidating to think that we all are a passing through. Everyone has their own cuddly when it comes to facing this reality. For some it is fitness as having a fit body promotes good health hence somehow making dying more rosy. For some it is religion and they hold onto God who they think helps them through the big picture. For those who don't find their anchor soon enough, they get depressed and anxious. My grandma is 80 now and I went to visit her the other day. She was so depressed the air seemed heavy. She told me at the end of all my rationalization that I would understand what she feels the day I turn 60.
What wonderful synopsis of Ericksons' principles! Something many of us choose not to think about, and for the others that do contemplate life cycles it is difficult to find someone to share the idealogy with. To coin a very old phase--"everything has a time and place".
Dying really scares me- I am not phobic about it but it does make me fearful.
My grandmother is very obviously depressed but will never own up to it because that is not her way. She was raised to never share family things with strangers so the idea of telling someone what she considers her deepest and darkest secrets and fears mortifies her.
Therapy can be such a good thing for the young and the old- why is there such a hesitation to pursue it?
I cannot tell you how much better I feel about myself now that I have gotten older- sounds backwards doesn't it but it really is true. I have developed much more of a self awareness than I ever had in my younger days and now feel prepared to take on the world both spiritually and emotionally. This is something that I never felt when I was young but have fully embraced as I have grown older and I know wiser. I am accepting the whole aging thing with grace like I never expected that I would be able to and I have to say that it feels great! I wish that more older women would look to themselves to make themselves happy rather than always looking for the latest new cosmetic surgeries or a man to make them happy. The kind of peace that I have about life now is something that no man or cosmetic filler or procedure could ever bring me.
What a wonderful way to look at aging. I don't think I am scared of getting older and I am happy about my age (38), and I don't act it one bit, but I do get a little discouraged about the little lines popping up.
I guess this is where we can say we need to learn to "grow old gracefully"
I believe a lot of us become wiser and smarter as we grow older. I've always said if I knew then what I know now, I would have done some things differently. When we are younger, we make some silly mistakes that when we look back, we should have know better. I understand the importance of things when we grow older.
Personally I am having a very hard time with the whole issue of aging and getting older. I think about all of the things that I am leaving behind like youth and beauty and then the losses of my children as they grow older and go on the get married and have families of thheir own. I think I am in the midst of the classic mid life crisis and I do not know how to deal with that. So much emphasis has been put on holding women at their premium when they are young and pretty and I do not know how to reconcile that with the fact that now advertisers are supposedly telling us that it is ok to age and grow old gracefully. How do I fight back all of the info we have been given about this for so long and now embrace something totally different? I do not mean to sound shallow but getting older is not something that I look forward to with very much excitement and anticipation at all!
I hope when i get older that I have a positive outlook on life. Right now, I fear of not being able to get around or do the things I do now. I hope I can really embrace the idea of wisdom when I reach that stage.
Think about everything you have learned as you have gotten older and the many ways that you can now use this to your advantage in your later years. What a blessing that will be!
Embrace the lines and wrinkles ladies! What a story each one of them has to tell!
Thanks for that advice Lydia. I hope to take that to heart!
For so many years we as women have been fed the line that we should feel bad about getting old and need to do what we can to stop aging in its tracks. But now we are being told differently and while I am happy to hear this because the last time I checked it is hard to stop the progress of time it still makes me think that it is almost like one of those backhanded compliments. Go ahead and age it will be ok sort of thing. You still never really see older females embraced for their beauty- they are still made to feel old and scraggly no matter where we turn. When is the last time you saw an article promoting looking good in a bikini for women over 30? Never and it ain't ever gonna happen!We should all welcome aging that is true- it is better than the alternative after all.
Yes, views of aging are changing! Gray hair is in and many can begin to see how true beauty shines from within. The last time I talked with a teenage beauty queen I was struck with how boring her world was, how little she knew of the bigger world, compared to my baby boomer friends. It's time for us to acknowledge each other and celbrate the beauty and freedom we really have! Dorothea Hover-Kramer, author of "Second Chance at Your Dream"
this headline leaves me hanging...so what's the verdict...tell me, are seniors in nordic countries lonely or not...i don;t want to have to actually go to the url you cited and read the study myself :)
From my own personal experience I think that family involvement makes all the difference in the world with how anyone copes from loneliness and loss. Too many times I see seniors who become virtually isolated either because of their health or people treat them as non entities as they get older. There are some who do get a little ornery and difficult to be around, I know this, but I also think that this is a good life lesson to us all to not let these people flounder. There are many out there just looking for some good conversation and some good company. As a family member or just a friend it is the responsibility of us all to treat the lederly with the same respect and dignity with which we ourselves wish to be treated. Is that too much to ask?
I think it's a matter of feeling needed. Humans need to feel that we matter & without us someone else's life just would not be the same. The irony is that, If we've parented well, our own children grow self sufficient and no longer need us, which means our need to be needed is not being met. Friends who are in the same situation can fill that void sometimes more than family members with full and busy lives. However, there are so many younger adults who lack positive parent figures and who are looking for life mentors. I think if the seniors could connect with people who need them and who want their wisdom and guidance, it could help everyone. They don't have to abandon the self sufficient children they did a good job raising. They could just expand their extended family circle to include intergenerational connections where they can feel needed. There is a worldwide service that matches for those kind of connections - Creating Extended Families
i have heard of things like hypnosis, acupuncture, and nicotine gum helping with quitting smoking, but I never heard of talk-therapy helping. I wonder if anyone does talk therapy for kicking the nicotine habit... I could imagine some form of somatic or body-mind therapy being helpful. any one do this kind of stuff for smoking? i could use the help :)
Well that finally confirms it. Smokers are crazy!
There certainly are insights that can help an individual quit smoking and prevent relapse.
It was years ago I gave up and am glad I did now that I read that. If only I could talk my husband into doing the same thing! Thanks for the information.
Say you were to quit after reading this research. Would the damage already be done and irreversible or would quitting now mean any type of reversal? There should be a third group followed in further research, drawn from smokers within the original group, of new quitters.
Any bets on how hard the tobacco companies are working to keep this kind of info out of the public eye? But of course all of the other information that we have on how bad smoking is for us does not seem to keep millions from continuing the habit so how would we know if this would either?
I have to let my father see this. He's in his seventies and refuses to stop smoking. He takes great pride in and always talks about how his mind is as sharp today as it was fifty years ago. This might convince him to quit.
Could hypnosis help or does it have to be a specific type of smoking cessation treatment with talk therapy?
If the phrase "you will die sooner because you smoke" doesn't make smokers quit, why would a little thing like dementia have an impact on them? Smokers quit when ready and not before.
I'm more addicted to the Internet than I've ever been to a cigarette. Studies on how that's going to affect us in our old age would be interesting.
Wisdom comes with age and along with it a better sense of self.. With age we care less about what others think and about social pressure. then again some people never mature emotionally...sadly.
as long as health holds out I know that I will be happier when I am old and get to retire! Think of how much more I will know than all of the youngsters coming along!
Hmm...I knew that hypertension does create problems for the transport of the right amount blood, and now I know that when this happens with respect to brain, it will definitely have effects that may be very serious for middle-aged people.
Does this mean that high blood pressure medication could actually help some of these people regain their memory, or is it a situation that once it is lost it is gone for good? Just another prime example of why we need to be more proactive instead of reactive when looking at medical treatment- prevent these things so that the secondary issues never have the chance to pop up.
I cant begin to dismiss sudoku or chess as unfruitful. I do know that these things improves the speed at which one's brain processes information. I wonder whether memory building is about information assimilation. In that case it would definitely be worthless in my opinion.
While it's generally true that most puzzles and brain training exercises don't produce the kinds of mental gains that people might hope for, there is one exercise that has been proven by research to produce significant benefits. A study last year by researchers from the Universities of Michigan and Bern (Improving Fluid Intelligence by Training Working Memory - PNAS April 2008) recorded increases in mental agility (fluid intelligence) of more than 40% after 19 days of focused brain training.
What exactly is fluid intelligence? How do they measure this?
is there anyone intrested out there in useing new sencory playroom that can be used for one-one work/therapy.
This is strange... Because a lot of us have always believed that solving puzzles and other tickle-your-brain activities actually provide exercise for our brain. I just hope practices are not blindly followed without proper study-related proof in the future.
This sure is interesting to say the least... along with the above mentioned factors, I think one more important factor that plays an important role in determining whether a sermon will commit suicide is the company the person is in. If the company is positive and encouraging to the person, then I am sure the chamber of suicide will reduce drastically. Proper counselling at the right time can also save many a lives.
It is so sad to me that someone could get to a point in her life that she sees suicide as the only way out. It is even more discouraging that someone would go through their lives devising plans to make the next suicide attempt a success. Why does treatment work for some people and not for others? It has to be largely based on the amount of support that they are getting in other aspects of their lives, such as from family and friends. There should never be the chance for a second suicide attempt, and what I mean by that is that if someone tries and does not succeed, you bet that I would be there with that person in my life to make sure that whatever needs to be done will get done to ensure that they are never to that desperate point again.
Families have to learn that you can't just ignore a problem and it will go away. These things show up over and over again and without the right help and intervention chances are someone is going to succeed with a suicide attempt and tear the family apart. I know that people do not want to talk about suicide but the time has come that it has to be brought out into the open because who knows how many more people are going to suffer if we keep pushing the subject under the rug.
A person who has attempted suicide in the past is more like to have been through a lot of problems and hence is more prone to another attempt at suicide, so I think studying the patients' history does give an indication...
My 72 Year Old Sister Committed Suicide 5/25/2009..This Was Her Fifth And Final Attempt... I Am Still So Devastated... I Can't Think!! I Feel Numb!! Why Her Husband Didn't Do Something Or The DAMN Doctor That Was Prescribing These Pills (She Took A LOT OF THEM!!!!!) MONITOR HER BETTER!!! Only God Knows.. The Second Attempt WAS A BIG RED FLAG!!! To Me.. Why No One Else?? She Was Not My Only Loss.. My Mom Died A Year Earlier At 91 ..My Sister Was NOT Thrilled With Our Mom.. Give Me A Reply Or Words Of Wisdom That Might Give Me Hope Here???
My father retires in two years and he has already planned on working after retirement, for atleast two more years. He says he wants to keep himself occupied and healthy and this article will be good news to him.
When my father in law retied a few years ago he did experience a period of depression because he did not have those responsibilities anymore that left him feeling important. He thought retirement would be great but turned out it really was not the best decision for him at that time. Luckily he found a little part time job that kept him active and gave him something more to do and he felt better almost immediately.
Working after retirement if a person likes to do so is a good thing, but it might well be a thing of need for many in these times of recession.
No doubt work keeps a person's mental and physical health in a good condition, but relaxation is also a good thing after retirement...hence, a part-time job or a job with shorter work-hours is best suited for such people. It will satisfy their need to work and also give them ample time to relax and unwind.
Mental health remains good when the person is happy... whether he/she is working or is following a hobby that he/she could not follow earlier due to time constraints. Its all in the state of mind!
Yes. Continuing to see clients for me certainly keeps me alert and feeling that I'm doing something worthwhile.
I retired from my regular job about an year ago, and am now looking for a job. I was very involved in my work, and it felt like I was leading an aimless life once I retired. Now I'm looking to work part-time, like 4 hours a day to keep myself metally-fit and self-confident.
Love this idea- wish that there were more physicians and medical teams which would encourage this type of approach to health, recovery, and wellness. I think that issues like this could make a hugely positive improvement in our medical system.
It is true that love and care, when combined with medication does lead to a beter feeling among patients of any disorder in general...humans are built that way...
Great to hear of this noble program. Also, children of older people suffering from cancer can help in making them feel better by not treating them like just a responsibility and also staying with them rather than just sending them to old-age homes... love is a great medicine after all...
It's great that a program like this has been drawn up. Its sad when doctors stop being sensitive to elder patients in terminal illnesses.
Is this available in all countries or only in America?
Being in a kind of healing circle such as this is an excellent idea. When you combine all those approaches rather than concentrating on a single one, surely you increase the odds of getting better faster. I believe your mindset plays a significant role in physical healing although of course sometimes sadly the disease is incurable.
What I find sad is when people draw away from cancer patients and their families. When my friend was ill both she and her parents commented on being avoided by people they had known for a lifetime. That seriously hurt their feelings. Always say something rather than nothing even if all you can squeeze out is "I'm sorry to hear you're ill."
All that older people crave for is love and affection coupled with care and attention from their family and it is no surprise that their health benefits from this.
An elder is someone who has seen all that we young and able think we know. We all like to look back at our memories and when u have a whole treasure trove of them, we would like to share it with others. Talking to an elder and having a fruitful conversation is an acquired art in my opinion. Most of us dont have the time, inclination or the need for a friend as they do. Funny how only the innocent like babies and young children get along with them unconditionally. I think the 1 thing they lack seriously is company. Man is a social animal and when social connections are missing, it leads to a chain of bad emotions.
Most children think of their aged parents as a burden and someone unwanted. No prejudice here, but that is what I have observed. This feeling needs to change and it can change very easily if they reflect back at their own childhood. They were helpless little babies and it is their parents who took care of them and nurtured them. Don't they deserve at least some of that care and attention at a time when they need it? I say they definitely do and it is the duty of every child to at least pay attention, if not much, to their aged parents.
You may give them the best of comforts and a lot of money but what your aged parents crave for is your company and attention. After all, love is greater than money.
It is so sad to see the state of many geriatric patients and the ways that they are mistreated not only by the system but also by their own family members. It is a good thing when there are those who care about their well being and who do the most that they can to make the limited time that they have left positive and uplifting. It is too bad that there are not more people out there who feel the need to give back to this community.
It must be so weird, and more importantly, so sad for older people to see that they are being considered non-productive...especially after the retirement convinces most of them that they are not worth doing anything anymore.
I can relate. I was an administrator in a nursing home that had a secure unit within it. I saw new patients arrive that would literally fight tooth and nail with family, screaming all the way in the doors and refuse to ever see them again for dropping them off there. Then there were the arrivals that would have this terribly haunted desolate look about them and were terrified. Being able to chat with them one day and enjoy their company and for them to have no recollection of me or us doing so the next was something I never got used to. I can't imagine how family must feel, to see a glimpse of who they were before dementia took them over, and then it be gone just as quickly. But those times when the residents were able to recall their lives with open hearts and eyes shining with clarity, those were some of the most precious and memorable of my life. I'll never forget any of those wonderful souls that I shared those moments with.
This is bound to happen at nursing homes as they are not as well-equipped as hospitals are.Nevertheless,nursing inner do a great job of handling patients who cannot be in hospitals for various reasons and this has to be commended.If someone in a nursing home needs speciality treatment,they can be shifted to the nearest hospital.
If there is a rule that individuals with mental problems should not be housed in nursing homes,then why are the numerous nursing homes doing so?Are they not afraid of their licensure being cancelled?It is only because they know that the law exists only on paper and is not enforced and this kind of an image of law-enforcement does not bode well for a country like ours!
My grandmother had to go to a nursing home during the last few years of her life but if I had to do it all over again I would have found a way to have her come home with me. The employees there did the bare minimum of what they needed to do to keep the residents safe but I think that is about it. I never saw anyone doing anything that was not in their job description or going over and beyond the call of duty to keep the patients feeling like they were at home. Granted I know that there were a lot of people there it is just that no one was ever really nice or seemed to enjoy their jobs very much and I just don't think that those are the sorts of people who should be caregivers to the older residents. These are people who have had to give up their homes to come stay somewhere unfamiliar and a friendly word or gesture could make all of the difference in the world to keep them feeling comfortable but I never experienced that and I am sure that my grandmother did not either. At the time we felt we had no choice, but now I know that we could have made another choice. It would have been hard but we could have done it and probably should have. I feel guilty about that everyday.
Well I think one of the toughest things for old people is that they do not have enough activites to be a part of, and this can really be eliminated by involving communities and different groups in the various towns and cities.
Many old people are plagued by the empty-nest syndrome. With kids most people's kids moving out and many even going to a different part of the country or even to a different country all together, the old parents are left with a very empty feeling.
Centres wherein elders can join in and spend some time together, and have a few activites like indoors sports, etc can be set up to make them feel less of being alone and keep them going :)
I just think older people who live with their children are much happier than those who don't and that the love and care of near and dear ones plays a very important role in keeping them healthy.
There are times and situations that nursing home facilities are the only way that older people are going to stand a chance of leading a longer life. At least there you will find trained people who know how to help them and hopefully make their final years worth living. But that does not excuse the family from sharing a role in this. I feel so sad when you hear about people being left in these homes for years with no family or friends who visit and I know that this has to hasten death for many because they no longer feel like they have anything to live for.
Isn't that dog the cutest thing you've ever seen? She's beautiful and must be smart too. That's the first time I've heard of those special dogs.
Don't tar all youngsters with the same brush please, Katherine. Many kids volunteer and do what they can to give back in their community. My neighbor's son helps out at our local senior center. The good kids don't get the same recognition for their good deeds that the bad apples get in the press.
This is a marvelous example of why seniors and what they can contribute to society post-retirement should never be underestimated. I'll never know why the group gets almost written off in some people's minds.
Volunteers are the heart and soul of so many organizations- a great big shout out to all who so willingly give of their time to help others is greatly needed!
A lot of youngsters are actually waking up to this fact and are doing community service in vacation and at other times too. Along with being satisfactory to their inner selves for having helped others, it also gives a good adddition in their resume. What more could one probably ask for...
Hold on. If the social worker can't familiarize themselves with the person's case, how are they supposed to help? What makes a person more angry, answering a question they have been asked a million times by your co-workers or having you not look them in the eye? In my experience, it's the first one.
We need more Sheilas in the world. I see so many youngsters lazing about when they could be sparing time for good deeds like this.
The comment about paid social workers not looking you in the eye was uncalled for. Social workers have a very hard job. When they are looking at the computer, they aren't ignoring you or being rude. They are reviewing your case files to bring themselves up to speed or remind themselves of what's already transpired.
I agree that it is extremely important to involve yourself in something meaningful.It will keep us content about ourselves and makes us feel important, something that many seniors feel a lack of. After all, an empty mind is the devil's workshop and will bring in negative thoughts by default.
I've always thought that media bias goes in the wrong direction. If they highlighted how many good and positive actions occur every day we may all have a brighter view of life. How refreshing it would be to see them sensationalize the good stuff!
Most volunteers work honestly, to help other people. What is required is recognition for such things... you see, recognition and applause does prep up any person and will also encourage more and more people to actually volunteer to such work.
Seniors don't leave their brain behind at their desk when they retire! Earning a paycheck one week and not the next doesn't make you any less smart. Not utilizing their talents is what's dumb.
I hope Sheila knows about the Disney program, Give A Day Get a Day, that rewards volunteers.
This article presents a comprehensive view of the reasons people are drawn towards spirituality. Thanks for the insight.
well I think the only reason is that e have more time and lesser things to occupy us as we grow old. And this combined with the thought that we are nearing our death is what leads to more people getting cvloser to religion as they age.
For me it has been about realizing that there is a power greater than myself, and that this power gives me strength and comfort through good times and bad. And that to me is something I have been looking for for a very long time, but just never realized it until I got older.
Sometimes we do things that hurt a near and dear one bad. In some cases, the hurt that we cause to them lasts years or even decades, as the case has been here. It is not easy for the person who has been hurt all these years to actually understand and comprehend and see from the other person's perscpective all of a sudden. It will definitely take time, and this time will need a professional to guide both the persons through the difficult time, and if everything goes well, it could well save the two people from regretting it for the rest of their lives...
The relationship that starts with our birth and stays with us forever...our relationship with our parents is a very critical one indeed.Parents provide us with everything and take care of our every need,it is therefore imperative that we do the same for them later on in life...yes,there may be problems in a few households, but parent-child relationship is just far too importnat to have something bitter in the mind regarding the conflict.
Wow. That's really all I can say, Paul. This is a remarkable shift, one that was obviously appreciated by both Lilly and Dina. It illustrates beautifully that forgiveness is possible, even "sixty years too late". I, too, have had to come to terms with my own mother who was diagnosed bipolar (type 1) when I was 18. Of course that means for my first 17 plus years, I lived with a bipolar parent who was acting out on a regular basis. Today, as the mother of a young adult myself, I realize that even in the best of circumstances, parenting is like dancing across a minefield much of the time. You don't know where the bombs are and you can't know your effect until many years (or decades) after the fact. And that's in the best of circumstances - I didn't have them and couldn't provide them to my own child. But you know? I turned out okay (better than okay - I am a psychotherapist, remarried to my best friend, with many friends and a great relationship with that young adult son) and my less than stellar childhood contributed to this. And today I see my elderly mother, who can still sting me with her words, and mostly I feel love and compassion. It wasn't easy being her (I used to joke, 'being in my mother's head is like being in a bad neighborhood . . . carry pepper spray!') and I'm just grateful to be myself without a mood disorder. So thank you for reminding us that healing is possible, even at 96 years young. Warmly, Laura
it is best to talk out any issue we may have with a family member.if we have a problem with an outsider we can avoid them and stop talking to them or go to any entent to go away from them...but this is not possible for a family member, more so for a parent...hence we must always try to solve any problem that may crop up as soon as possible as complications may arise with the passage of time.
My grandmother still verbally abuses my mother even though my mom is doing the best that she can to take care of her. In her eyes nothing that my mom ever does is good enough. It makes me wonder how or why my mom keeps on trying but I know it's because she is her mother and she wants to take care of her, feels like she has to because there is no one else there to do it. But I tell you it makes my mom feels so bad and so demeanded when my grandmother treats her that way. I try not to get too involved and because I do not want to cause even more trouble but it is sometimes so hard to bite my tongue! My mom and I are so close that it is hard for me to imagine her having led her entire childhood and adult life with those kind of words aimed at her. It does make me sad because I know that this is a mother daughter rift that is destined not to be healed.
It's like old people turn back into kids the older that they get. Nothing is ever right, nothing is ever good enough, and everyone hates them. That is what they think anyway. I hope my parents do not treat me this way when they get older because I am really not sure how I am going to handle that.
Think young and you shall remain so!
Its all in the state of mind...we're all as old as we think we are...there is nothing like positive outlook and good thought sthat can help an individual stay young at heart and be healthy too.
It is no doubt that those who 'feel' younger are much better health-wise...this comes from the fact that those who think they are younger atre actually optimists and those who think they are older are often pessimistic in nature...they think of themselves as growing old and weak day by day, therby inducing themselves into believing so andd hence the body acts in a similar way...by giving up! It is just so important to have a right frame of mind and positive thinking...
The same thing is true in that if you go around feeling older than you are then it is gonna show too.
You are as old as you think yourself to be...this cannot be better demonstrated than two elders of nearly the same age having very different health conditions...a happy person is a healthy person , no doubt about it.
you are as young as you feel
it is very important for any person not to think of himself as being old and losing strength...because if a person starts thinking that way, then it will lead to the person having problems even if he did not actually have any problems initially.
there is nothing like consideration of the self...it is said that a person under treatment cannot be cured unless he himself has a wish to be cured...such is the importance and the power of the self...people should be taught to make use of this for their advantage, as most people tend to put themselves at a disadvantage due to this.
This just goes out to show how important the perception of self is...a person may just invite problems by thinking of himself as weak or old...It also shows how important it is for each one of us to have a positive outlook and to think in a positive manner at all times and not to pull ourselves down with negative thoughts.
this might well be the future of therapy..what with so much of fun in it and the gaming thing catching on with so many people all over... of course it is a lot better than boring therapy session that people definitely do not look forward to.
The Wii is a great device and can entice the young and old alike...it has now become almost like an indoor gym for many families. Although it may not be as beneficial as the real thing, it sure is the most 'fun' way to help your body physically and to exercise to keep yourself fit.
I swear that exercise is a cure all.
My grandmother lived with us for years and always loved playing our video games with us. Granted they were not as advanced as the Wii system of today but my brother and I still laugh about coming home from school and finding her playing on the original nintendo and being in all of our Mario and Tetris games. This always made her day and I am sure that the seniors of today are enjoying the same kinds of things but with even more advanced activities.
The main reasons for seniors to have all the problems that they are generally associated with is not just aging, but also other things like seclusion and reduction in social gatherings and fun-filled activites and also physical activities. Now if this kind of a thing is introduced in their daily routine, it is no surprise that improvements were observed at the end of the study.
Looks like the gay community suffers from the same kind of ageism that heterosexual women have been facing forever!
This is something that has been experienced by people in a lot of sub-cultures in the past, including the ones like the Gothic sub-culture.You are young and represent a sub-culture or group and all of a sudden to be sidetracked is just a very lethal blow.And for things like gay culture,it is even more hurtful because it is something that you cannot change,it is your orientation!
Thanks for your comments. And I agree that ageism does influence many different aspects of society. It is important to make a choice and see if we can alter that story and embrace aging as the natural practice that it is. John Sovec
it must be hard for such people because there are already enough number of 'straight' people giving them a cold houlder because of their orientation, and now to have people who are just like you doing such a thing to you can be very bad and may lead to negative things like depression.
Alice, It is very true that the rejection from ones own community can lead to lots of feelings of rejection and loss. That loss is reflected as loss of community, loss of place in that community, and loss of personal identity. Depression, anxiety, and loss of self-esteem are very present during this time of adjustment. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. John Sovec