Lies, deception, infidelity, and jealousy are complex issues that are often the stated presenting problems for couples seeking therapy. However, speaking the truth in intimate relationships is infrequently about morality. It is about differentiation or the avoidance of it. In avoiding the difficult work of differentiation, many couples lie to one another and to themselves, and they fail to build the emotional muscle critical for a strong, intimate, and authentic connection.



This web conference will review primary types of lies, reasons couples lie, and lie-inviting behavior in intimate partnerships. We will identify and discuss why differentiation matters and address different types of confrontation. You'll learn clinical tools that will help you feel calm and allow you to assist the couple in question to see a different perspective.



This presentation is based on material from the books In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Couples Therapy and Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage by Dr. Ellyn Bader and Dr. Peter T. Pearson.



This web conference is intermediate instructional level and designed to help clinicians:




  1. Describe 5 main reasons lovers lie;

  2. Discover 4 major types of lies;

  3. Illustrate common patterns of lie-inviting behavior;

  4. Explain differentiation and describe why it matters;

  5. Identify 6 different types of confrontation.



If you have any questions or concerns about this web conference, or would like more information, please contact us here.


How the Web Conference Works

Attendees who register for this event will log in to the web conference center by using a computer and calling in to the teleconference line. Attendees will be able to ask live audio questions via phone and/or submit text chat questions via computer. Live streaming video and/or document sharing will also be available to participants. Alternatively, attendees may dial in to the teleconference line only, though attendees dialing in by phone only will be unable to ask questions.



Before the scheduled event, all registered attendees will be sent a reminder email with specific instructions on how to log in to the web conference center, as well as links to optional handout materials if applicable.



This event will include lecture and question-and-answer periods. A recording of the web conference will be available to members in GoodTherapy.org's Continuing Education Archives within two weeks. After the live event, a written transcript of the event will be available in the Member's Area. Members of GoodTherapy.org can receive continuing education credits for attending this event by logging in to the GoodTherapy.org Member's Area.


Continuing Education (CE) Information

Two CE credits will be provided by GoodTherapy.org for attending this web conference in its entirety.

GoodTherapy.org is also an Approved Education Provider by NAADAC, The Association for Addiction Professionals (provider #135463). Of the eight counselor skill groups ascribed to by NAADAC, this course is classified within counseling services.

GoodTherapy.org is an NBCC-Approved Continuing Education Provider (ACEPTM) and may offer NBCC-approved clock hours for events that meet NBCC requirements.

GoodTherapy.org is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. GoodTherapy.org maintains responsibility for this program and its content..

GoodTherapy.org, SW CPE is recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Social Work as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed social workers #0395.

Registration Information

Premium and Pro Membership with GoodTherapy includes access to this web conference at no additional cost, as well as other member benefits such as a profile listing in GoodTherapy's Therapist Directory. Not yet a member? Sign up for a Premium or Pro Membership, here.

Just want CE credits? Sign up for a monthly or annual CE Subscription with GoodTherapy to get unlimited access to our CE Program, including this event, other live CE web conferences, and hundreds of hours of homestudy courses.

Mental health professionals who are not members can attend this live web conference for $30.95 or access the homestudy recording for $15.50. Sign up here to purchase this CE course and earn a CE certificate.

Event Reviews from Members

"Ellyn is an excellent presenter. Clear....Concise... good use of stories and examples. Very knowledgeable." - Norma Stevens, LCPC

"It was helpful to have a more in-depth understanding of the reasons people lie and how different types of lies affect a couple, especially a couple struggling with infidelity. Looking at different ways of confronting a couple in session who are dealing with lies and infidelity was also useful." - Ellen Schrier, MS, LPC

Meet the Presenter

Ellyn Bader, PhD

Dr. Ellyn Bader, psychologist, is the director and founder of The Couples Institute Training. She is also a speaker, workshop leader, therapist, and author who is committed to helping couples cultivate strong, extraordinary relationships, and to educating therapists in techniques for providing exceptional, high-quality couples therapy. For 28 years, she has shared her expertise with therapists across the country, as well as in South America, Europe, Australia, and Asia.

Dr. Bader is frequently sought after as a speaker for national and international conventions. She co-authored two books with her husband, Dr. Peter Pearson: In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy and Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage. Together, they have been on several television shows including CBS Early Morning News and the Today show. The California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists awarded Dr. Bader the Clark Vincent Award for an outstanding literary contribution to the field of couples therapy.

For more information on Dr. Bader and her work, please visit her website here: http://www.couplesinstitute.com