http://www.goodtherapy.org/healthy-parenting-article.html Latest articles Fri, 13 Aug 2010 14:45:14 GMT en-us http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dealing-with-troubled-youth-bullying-0208124/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dealing-with-troubled-youth-bullying-0208124/ Wed, 8 Feb 2012 17:51:45 GMT ?Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.? This cliché does not hold true for children, teens, and young adults who are bullied on a daily basis. Words do hurt. This is a serious issue that needs to be addressed in our communities and society at large. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/new-baby-sibling-opposition-0207121/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/new-baby-sibling-opposition-0207121/ Tue, 7 Feb 2012 17:14:35 GMT Sibling rivalry is a term that is casually used when describing the unharmonious relationship between siblings. When an only child is about to become a big brother or sister, parents are often concerned about sibling rivalry and, in particular, how their child will react when they are no longer the only child. Most children, nearly 80% in the United States, have at least one brother or sister. This transition to siblinghood (TTS) is seen by some experts as one of the most traumatic events a child experiences. Mothers and fathers of only children express concern about their child?s behavior prior to the arrival of a new baby and often worry about how their child will react and respond. Because most children who experience TTS do so at a critical time for emotional development, between the ages of 2 and 3, experts have suggested that this stage is a time of extreme stress for children and parents, with some even stating that many children experience a crisis during TTS. To determine if TTS poses a threat to the well-being of a child, Brenda L. Volling, of the Center for Human Grown and Development at the University of Michigan, recently analyzed 30 studies devoted to child development and behavior during TTS. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/postpartum-anxiety-depression-infants-0206123/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/postpartum-anxiety-depression-infants-0206123/ Tue, 7 Feb 2012 03:00:01 GMT Postpartum depression and anxiety can severely impact the relationship between a mother and her child. Long after the symptoms have waned, the child can still struggle with the psychological impact of the experience. Some studies have examined how specific postnatal maternal mental health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and eating issues, can affect a child?s psychological well-being. But very little research has examined how a mother?s thought patterns, specifically worry and rumination, two behaviors common in anxiety and depression, influence a child?s development. Alan Stein of the Department of Psychiatry at Warneford Hospital at the University of Oxford in the U.K. was curious to find out how these issues affected the type of parenting a mother provided. People with anxiety and depression are often stuck in a negative mood, which can limit the amount of attention they provide their children. During infancy, the bond between mother and child is critical and lays the foundation for many aspects of a child?s psychological development and well-being throughout their lifetime. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/what-have-i-done-for-me-0206124/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/what-have-i-done-for-me-0206124/ Mon, 6 Feb 2012 18:28:46 GMT All too often, women and some men  (in my experience, mostly women) experience the fatigue of ?having it all.? More and more women, by choice or necessity, work a full-time job in addition to family and home responsibilities, leaving little, if any, time for them. Likewise, many of us in the helping professions struggle or have struggled with the balance of giving so much emotionally to not only clients, but also family and friends, and find ourselves depleted. In both cases, it is very easy to face burnout. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/time-to-separate-family-0202124/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/time-to-separate-family-0202124/ Thu, 2 Feb 2012 18:32:52 GMT Families need to be together. After all, the family as a group exists to provide support, nurturance, food, shelter, resources, and a stable future to each member. While most families have their ups and downs, even stressed, impoverished, chaotic families want to live with one another. When is it in the family?s best interest for members to separate from one another? Can leaving the family home for a short while ever bring healing to the relationships in the long run? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-and-friendship-0131124/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-and-friendship-0131124/ Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:23:29 GMT I was talking to one of my colleagues about the age of my son and the age of his daughters. His daughters are much older than my almost 1 year old, but he was able to give me some great wisdom. The wisdom was that ?friendship comes later.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-rituals-with-children-0126124/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-rituals-with-children-0126124/ Thu, 26 Jan 2012 17:38:49 GMT The decision has been made. You and your spouse are divorcing. There are a multitude of decisions to be made, and it is often difficult to know where to begin. You will be making decisions regarding when the children are with you and when they are with your spouse, whether to keep the family home and, if so, who keeps it. There will also be a host of other decisions you did not realize you made automatically on a daily basis that will now become conscious decisions because living in two different homes requires more coordination. While you are addressing these decisions and working to manage your own emotions, you and your spouse may also want to think about how to help your children make the transition from your predivorce to your postdivorce family as simple, conflict-free, and understandable as possible for their developmental ages. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-need-direct-answers-after-interparent-violence-0104113/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-need-direct-answers-after-interparent-violence-0104113/ Thu, 5 Jan 2012 02:00:04 GMT Over 15 million children live in homes in which intimate partner violence (IPV) occurs. ?A sizable proportion of these children experience significant mental-health problems, but many appear to experience only mild distress, especially those drawn from community samples,? said Renee McDonald of the Department of Psychology at Southern Methodist University. ?Parent? child communications about interparent conflict may represent another important dimension of parenting for children who have been exposed to IPV.? Children who witness interparent conflict often express curiosity about the conflict. A number of mothers have reported that if asked, they would explain to their children about the conflict. However, to date, few studies have looked at that behavior to identify the influence it would have on the child?s adjustment. ?It seems plausible that mother? child communications about interparent conflict affect children?s understanding of the conflict, and theorists often point to the importance of children?s understanding of their parents? conflict in influencing children?s adjustment,? said McDonald. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/supportive-fathers-reduce-daughters-stress-0103113/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/supportive-fathers-reduce-daughters-stress-0103113/ Wed, 4 Jan 2012 02:00:53 GMT Adolescence can be an especially stressful time. However, a series of recent studies suggests that having a supportive father may help reduce that stress, especially for teen girls. ?Recent research indicates that father attributes are associated with psychobiological activity in young children,? said Jennifer Byrd-Craven of the Department of Psychology at Oklahoma State University, and lead author of the study. ?The present studies examine the association between the quality of father? daughter relationships and daughters? morning stress system activity, baseline stress system activity, and stress response to self-disclosure with a friend.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mothers-little-helper-motherhood-itself-1229113/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mothers-little-helper-motherhood-itself-1229113/ Fri, 30 Dec 2011 02:00:18 GMT Mothers are better able to handle stress than females who have never experienced motherhood, according to a new study. ?Indeed, several studies report that new mothers are better able to learn to navigate in their environment, a behavior that would more often than not have positive consequences for survival of the offspring,? said Lisa Y. Maeng of the Department of Psychology and Center for Collaborative Neuroscience at Rutgers University and lead author of the study. ?We have also noted enhanced learning as a consequence of motherhood. In this case, the act of maternal behavior itself prevents a learning deficit that occurs in virgins after exposure to a stressful life event.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/positive-parenting-mediates-domestic-violence-effects-1212112/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/positive-parenting-mediates-domestic-violence-effects-1212112/ Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:00:41 GMT Young children who witness intimate partner violence (IPV) are at an increased risk for psychological difficulties, including emotional regulation. ?Emotional security theory suggests that witnessing violence is distressing and dysregulating for children, and repeated exposure to inter-parental conflict undermines their sense of security in the family,? said Hanna C. Gustafsson of the Center for Developmental Science at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, and lead author of a new study examining the effects of parenting on a child?s ability to consciously suppress negative emotional responses. ?Thought to emerge during the first year of life, this type of volitional control has been shown to become more stable during the preschool years,? said Gustafsson. ?Learning how to focus attention and effectively regulate behavior is important for a successful transition to school, and self-regulatory skills at the transition to school have been shown to be predictive of both short- and long-term outcomes for children.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/surrogate-families-show-healthy-functioning-1208111/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/surrogate-families-show-healthy-functioning-1208111/ Thu, 8 Dec 2011 19:13:38 GMT The number of children born through surrogacy has increased dramatically in the past several decades, up from 2,000 just fifteen years ago to over 17,000 in 2007. Susan Golombok of the Centre for Family Research, Faculty of Politics, Psychology, Sociology and International Studies at the University of Cambridge, has conducted prior research on surrogacy and preschool-aged children, but recently led a new phase of the study examining the effects of surrogacy on older children. ?There are two types of surrogacy: traditional surrogacy, in which the surrogate mother and the commissioning father are the genetic parents of the child, and gestational surrogacy, in which the commissioning mother and father are the genetic parents,? said Golombok. ?Thus, children born through gestational surrogacy lack a gestational link with their mother, and children born through traditional surrogacy lack both a gestational and a genetic link.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/saying-no-1201115/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/saying-no-1201115/ Thu, 1 Dec 2011 17:30:59 GMT A friend of mine posted on Facebook that her 2-year-old son wanted to have candy for dinner. She directly said ?No?, and of course her son kept on asking and she continued to say it and so forth. I understand her frustration, but I responded differently. I asked her, "why not?" Yes, I know candy for dinner is not the healthiest, and that a child needs other foods, etc., but before you continue, look at the boxes of sugary cereal that you may be feeding your child in the morning and then think about your answer. Sometimes candy is the same as Trix, Frosted Flakes (which I love), Captain Crunch, and other cereals. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/holiday-energy-balance-kids-1202114/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/holiday-energy-balance-kids-1202114/ Thu, 1 Dec 2011 16:30:28 GMT Do the holidays consume you with joy, merrily moving along, or do you find yourself rushing, pressed for time, anxious about getting it all done? Whichever way it unfolds for you, as we busily bustle through the holidays, it is important to remember that kids are doing the same thing right along with you, perhaps even to levels that create a sense of internal chaos and emotionality that they are unaccustomed to dealing with. This is especially true for those with sensitive natures or already existing anxieties. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deal-with-bullies-1130114/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deal-with-bullies-1130114/ Wed, 30 Nov 2011 16:30:29 GMT How do we equip our children with the skills to deal with bullies and the people who are going to try and make their lives difficult? Victims of bullying feel hurt, alone, scared, fearful, depressed, and they become desperate for help. Often, children end up in counseling because they have been bullied and they finally react with their own aggression or demand help; as adults, we can intervene sooner. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/new-moms-regret-short-maternity-leaves-1129113/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/new-moms-regret-short-maternity-leaves-1129113/ Wed, 30 Nov 2011 02:00:00 GMT According to new research, mothers who take longer maternity leaves are able to manage work related and family stress when they return to the workforce better than those who return to work immediately after giving birth. Additionally, the longer a mother spends with her newborn before returning to work, the more confident she is in her decision. Bettina S. Wiese of the Department of Psychology at RWTH Aachen University in Germany recently led a study that explored how stress and the length of maternity leave affected a woman?s confidence in her decision to return to work. ?Because, at present, most women return to paid work after becoming a mother, this transition must be considered as a rather normative developmental task,? said Wiese. ?The return-to-work transition, however, is not completed on the day of reentry but rather comprises the time until the women feel like and are seen as fully (re)integrated organization members. The present study concerns this later phase, when women must actually deal with the first weeks of dual affordances at the workplace and at home.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/egg-sperm-donor-children-benefit-from-full-disclosure1128111/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/egg-sperm-donor-children-benefit-from-full-disclosure1128111/ Mon, 28 Nov 2011 17:00:41 GMT In the last several decades, more than 3 million children have been born with the help of an anonymous donor or gamete donation. These children are often raised by two parents, with whom only one of which they are biologically connected. ?Those who become parents through assisted reproductive procedures involving gamete donation tend not to tell their children about their donor conception; thus, the majority of children conceived in this way remain unaware that the person they know as their father (in the case of sperm donation) or their mother (in the case of egg donation) is not their genetic parent,? said Susan Golombok of the Centre for Family Research and faculty member of Politics Psychology Sociology and International Studies at the University of Cambridge in the UK. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-interventions-decrease-child-psychopathy-1121113/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-interventions-decrease-child-psychopathy-1121113/ Tue, 22 Nov 2011 03:00:42 GMT Identifying psychopathy in children is often the first step in predicting or preventing the development of further psychological and behavioral problems. Research has linked psychopathy to aggression, impulsivity and externalization in children. ?Such findings suggest that interventions that ameliorate child psychopathic features, in addition to child conduct problems, would offer a significant public health benefit,? said Renee McDonald of Southern Methodist University in Texas, and lead author of a recent study examining the effects of positive parenting on child psychopathy. ?Consistent with this, some reviewers have concluded?primarily from results of research with adults and adolescents?that interventions can indeed exert positive effects on psychopathic features.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dealing-with-troubled-youth-part-1-1118115/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dealing-with-troubled-youth-part-1-1118115/ Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:30:33 GMT Drug use in the United States is a serious problem among the adolescent population. At some point in your teen?s life, it is likely that your son or daughter may use drugs as a result of peer pressure or maybe even experimentation. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/new-study-examines-parenting-efficacy-1117111/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/new-study-examines-parenting-efficacy-1117111/ Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:40:03 GMT Pregnancy is a time of anticipation for mothers and fathers. Both parents hold expectations of how they will succeed at accomplishing parenting tasks, and how they will adjust to the new baby and each other after the birth. ?As with most research on the transition to parenthood, the majority of the literature focuses exclusively on the mother while neglecting the perspective of the father,? said Susanne N. Biehle of the Department of Psychology at Kent State University. ?Because the transition to parenthood is typically experienced jointly by the mother and father, it is important to understand the potential interplay that can occur between partners and how it may impact the development of parenting efficacy.? Biehle looked at three specific factors relating to parenting efficacy: performance accomplishment, emotional arousal and verbal persuasion, to see how each influenced the development of parenting skills both pre- and post-partum. ?Parenting efficacy is a specific aspect of self-efficacy which examines how competent a parent feels about their ability to positively influence both the development and behavior of their child.? Biehle added, ?High levels of efficacy can increase a parent?s ability to engage in better parenting practices, whereas low levels of parenting efficacy have been associated with feelings of anxiety, depression, and distress.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/internet-based-therapy-helps-parents-children-1115111/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/internet-based-therapy-helps-parents-children-1115111/ Tue, 15 Nov 2011 16:00:39 GMT Live coaching is a technique that is helpful to parents of children who have experienced a traumatic brain injury (TBI). In the traditional setting, live coaching is conducted with the therapist behind a one-way mirror. The therapist instructs the parent on how to interact and respond to their cognitively-impaired child. The parent then responds through an earpiece. Although this method of treatment has proven to be effective, it is not always logistically or economically feasible. ?Pediatric traumatic brain injury (TBI) is one of several complex, low-incidence conditions for which skilled providers may not be available in a given community,? said Shari L. Wade of the University of Pittsburgh. ?TBI can result in parental distress, as well as long-term changes in a child?s cognitive and academic abilities, behavior, and social skills.? Additionally, TBI can create significant behavior problems that cause immense stress on the parents. ?Parent skills training coupled with education regarding TBI may reduce parental distress and improve child outcomes.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/fathers-post-adoption-depression-1110111/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/fathers-post-adoption-depression-1110111/ Thu, 10 Nov 2011 17:00:33 GMT Post-partum depression occurs in nearly 15% percent of all new mothers and over 10% of new fathers. This psychological problem can affect not only the parents, but the children and the critical bond between the infant and the parent. ?Less is known about parental post-adoption depression (PAD) that may occur in the parents of the 1,782,000 children in the United States who are adopted,? said Karen J. Foli of the Purdue University School of Nursing and lead author of a new study looking at the prevalence of PAD. ?In the research reported thus far, the rate of post-adoption depression has a wide range, from 8%, 15.4% to 32%, with parents surveyed in varying contexts including inter-country and domestic.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/help-your-children-exercise-1103116/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/help-your-children-exercise-1103116/ Thu, 3 Nov 2011 18:55:21 GMT Everyone knows that there is a significant connection between exercise and physical health, and now there is research showing a connection between exercise and mental health. The question then becomes, ?How do we get our children and teens to exercise, knowing it is so good for them?? Typically, younger children will get 30 minutes of exercise each day at school, but experts suggest that children should get 60 minutes each day. Many teens get little or no exercise at all. As parents, we can encourage our children to get up and move, exercise, play and invigorate themselves, as this helps them to become healthier and happier in several ways. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/treating-eating-disorders-individuals-couples-families-1102113/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/treating-eating-disorders-individuals-couples-families-1102113/ Wed, 2 Nov 2011 16:10:02 GMT Last Friday, I gave a presentation at my state professional organization?s fall conference entitled, ?Illicit Lovers and Unwanted Guests: Treating Eating Disorders in Individuals, Couples and Families.? My organization, the North Carolina Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, comprises Marriage and Family Therapists who address all sorts of different problems that bring people to therapy, including, but not limited to, issues that cause problems in relationships. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parents-negatively-influencing-children-regarding-other-parent-1101113/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parents-negatively-influencing-children-regarding-other-parent-1101113/ Tue, 1 Nov 2011 14:23:14 GMT There are many ways in which one parent can influence how their children perceive their other parent. Often this is a positive experience for the children as they learn to appreciate both of their parents for what they each provide individually as a parent. Other times, this is a negative experience, especially during a divorce, making it very difficult for children to manage their feelings of loyalty and have loving relationships with both parents. It is sometimes the case where one parent is truly a danger to their children and should not have access to the children as determined by a court of law. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/choosing-holiday-memories-traditions-1031111/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/choosing-holiday-memories-traditions-1031111/ Mon, 31 Oct 2011 14:30:48 GMT It?s the holiday season: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year!! A lot of things happen at this time of the year: parties, baking, family get-togethers, and creating a lot of fun memories. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/empowering-benefits-adhd-children-parents/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/empowering-benefits-adhd-children-parents/ Thu, 27 Oct 2011 01:00:59 GMT Parents of ADHD children experience elevated levels of stress and often find their role dissatisfying. Some exhibit depressive symptoms as well. But a new study suggests that it is not the hyperactive-impulsive, attention (HIA) behavior of the child that causes these emotions, but rather the lack of control a parent of an ADHD child feels. ?Theoretically, it has been suggested that children with ADHD often have an underactive behavioral inhibition system, which means they are unresponsive to cues of possible punishment,? said Terese Glatz of the Center for Developmental Research at JPS, Orebro University, Sweden, and lead author of the study. ?Given that HIA and ADHD are similarly connected to parenting, this theory suggests that parents of children who are high on HIA should experience problems getting their children to follow directions and they should find rule setting essentially ineffective.? This problem leaves a parent feeling powerless over their child. ?According to this model, parents with low perceived power will view their children?s behavior as threatening and respond by behaving negatively toward their children. In contrast, high perceived power is expected to buffer against negative parenting behaviors,? said Glatz. ?Thus, these results show that parents? attributions about their power or lack thereof may be critically important when explaining why parents behave negatively toward children.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-style-influences-child-shyness/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-style-influences-child-shyness/ Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:00:45 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-death-during-childhood/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-death-during-childhood/ Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:03:48 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-benefit-from-higher-expectations/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-benefit-from-higher-expectations/ Fri, 21 Oct 2011 14:52:28 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/feelings-stay-at-home-dads/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/feelings-stay-at-home-dads/ Fri, 14 Oct 2011 15:00:15 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-with-cancer-linked-with-ptsd/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-with-cancer-linked-with-ptsd/ Thu, 13 Oct 2011 20:00:16 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parental-monitoring-decreases-teen-sexual-activity/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parental-monitoring-decreases-teen-sexual-activity/ Fri, 7 Oct 2011 20:00:30 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/corporal-punishment-child-abuse-2/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/corporal-punishment-child-abuse-2/ Fri, 7 Oct 2011 19:28:42 GMT I?ve been thinking about my post, Great Job Anderson Cooper... But Don?t Stop There, and know there?s much more for us to understand in order to truly help end child abuse in our country and world. In fact, to help end not just child abuse, but abuse itself in our country and world. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/fatherless-children-with-behavioral-cognitive-disadvantages/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/fatherless-children-with-behavioral-cognitive-disadvantages/ Thu, 6 Oct 2011 01:00:32 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/increasing-childrens-self-esteem/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/increasing-childrens-self-esteem/ Wed, 5 Oct 2011 14:37:21 GMT Self-esteem encompasses beliefs (for example, "I am capable", or "I am valuable") and emotions such as joy, despair, pride and disgrace. Self-esteem is learned through our accomplishments, failures, and the feedback we receive from others. Parents can have the greatest impact on our self-esteem as we are developing into adults. Children want to be valued and loved, eventually taking those messages and, if given positive messages, it increases their self-esteem. Self-esteem is not narcissism, but respect for one?s self and abilities; it helps us to endure the difficulties in life we will all face. How do we as parents foster good self-esteem and ensure that our children are prepared for their lives? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/corporal-punishment-child-abuse/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/corporal-punishment-child-abuse/ Tue, 4 Oct 2011 20:47:38 GMT Recently, CNN?s Anderson Cooper did a sad but powerful exposé on child abuse in some fundamentalist Christian sects in our country. The report, Ungodly Discipline, was definitely a positive step... but our examination of this topic shouldn?t be limited to the abuse of children by religious fundamentalists. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/bullying-response/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/bullying-response/ Tue, 4 Oct 2011 14:31:37 GMT Bullying has been hitting headlines lately in strong force. Newspapers have been littered with horror stories of bullying, and states have attempted to address the issue through legislation. Historically, the impact of bullying has been minimized by the general public due to a general perception that being the recipient of such behavior is a rite of passage and that ?everyone goes through it?. This may be factually correct, but whether this rite of passage is something we want to maintain is being challenged, and rightfully so. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sexually-active-staying-safe/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sexually-active-staying-safe/ Wed, 28 Sep 2011 20:15:21 GMT Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) can happen to anyone: single, married, heterosexual or homosexual. A person may not have symptoms for a long time but may still have an STD. Some STDs are treatable and others are not. Whether you have symptoms or not, STDs  can still be passed on without your awareness, so it is important for you to get checked out because you may think you are having safe sex, but you may not be. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/rights-children-have-in-divorce/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/rights-children-have-in-divorce/ Fri, 23 Sep 2011 20:46:15 GMT We know that when a marriage ends it is the parents who are divorcing. But do we think about the fact that our children aren?t getting a divorce, they are getting two households in which to continue living with their family. Their parents relationship is changing to something different than they have yet experienced. What do you need to think about so that your children are taken care of as well as possible? For some, the question is what rights do children have in a divorce? Here?s a list that is a good place to start. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/special-needs-parents-families-resources/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/special-needs-parents-families-resources/ Tue, 20 Sep 2011 19:24:26 GMT This last week, I had the honor and privilege of attending and speaking at Postpartum Support International?s 25th Annual Conference in Seattle, WA. I was moved and inspired by the amazing work gestating and being born in the perinatal world by so many compassionate professionals. (Refresher: ?perinatal? refers to the time from conception, through pregnancy, on through the first year after having a baby). http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mother-knows-best-stressed-youths/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mother-knows-best-stressed-youths/ Tue, 20 Sep 2011 15:00:03 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/healthy-play-benefits-infant/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/healthy-play-benefits-infant/ Sat, 17 Sep 2011 15:00:27 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/communicating-with-teens/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/communicating-with-teens/ Mon, 12 Sep 2011 17:41:10 GMT ?I don?t know.? Is it the stock answer teens give their parents for every question? Does it mean more than just a lack of an answer? How do we get them to speak to us and to have a conversation? There are ways to talk to teens, develop relationships through communication and not feel like an interrogator. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/environmental-genetic-influences-psychopathy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/environmental-genetic-influences-psychopathy/ Mon, 12 Sep 2011 15:31:03 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/personality-influence-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/personality-influence-parenting/ Thu, 8 Sep 2011 20:00:20 GMT : http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/study-shows-link-between-sinus-rhythm-depression-parent-child-interactions/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/study-shows-link-between-sinus-rhythm-depression-parent-child-interactions/ Wed, 7 Sep 2011 18:01:44 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/unified-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/unified-parenting/ Wed, 31 Aug 2011 18:16:12 GMT Kids are notorious for separating mom and dad. I am not talking about separation as far as divorce. I am talking about when a child asks dad about having ice-cream before dinner; knowing the answer will be ?NO? from mom, they go and ask dad who may say ?Yes?. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/codependents-psychotherapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/codependents-psychotherapy/ Mon, 29 Aug 2011 18:14:42 GMT Co-dependents rarely have presented themselves for therapy with me by stating that they want help with their own co-dependency. Of course, as you might expect, they are focused on helping or saving somebody else. My last article focused on how people are identified as co-dependent through certain relationship issues. It focused on romantic relationships. Another way that they are identified is through family/child concerns. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/spanking-discipline-abuse/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/spanking-discipline-abuse/ Mon, 29 Aug 2011 16:39:07 GMT I am guilty of spanking my children. My oldest has been spanked once, maybe twice, in his entire 17 years.  My seven year old has received a few prime swats, and other forms of discipline, in her short lifetime. My middle child, a fourteen year old boy, is much more intimately familiar with spankings. As an extremely hyperactive and unruly child, my son was constantly exploring things that were off limits, and often dangerous. Undeterred by the threats of toy removal, time-outs, and other non-physical forms of punishment, he pushed me to my limits and I resorted to the only other method I knew, spanking. At the tender age of five, he was quite adept at ?assuming the position.? He no longer covered his back end with his tiny hands, and as much as it drove me crazy, he developed a stoic resistance and would receive his spanking without so much as a tear. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/depressed-adolescent-misinterpret-parent-moods/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/depressed-adolescent-misinterpret-parent-moods/ Fri, 26 Aug 2011 20:00:46 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/intrusive-motherhood-thoughts/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/intrusive-motherhood-thoughts/ Fri, 26 Aug 2011 17:56:00 GMT Mandy nuzzled her 3 month old baby happily as she warmed his bottle. It felt so good to breathe in his sweet baby smell and touch his soft delicate skin, his little body curled in a warm embrace into the curve of her neck. Mandy was starting to feel like she had her ?sea-legs' as a new mom and was particularly enamored of the fact that her new baby was sleeping through the night. The rough night-time awakenings were beginning to subside as baby Noah matured and slept for longer periods. She was looking forward to meeting a new mom friend in the park with their babies after she gave Noah a bottle. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-low-income-mothers/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-low-income-mothers/ Fri, 26 Aug 2011 15:19:47 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-balance-parenting-style/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-balance-parenting-style/ Fri, 19 Aug 2011 19:50:22 GMT From infancy through young adulthood, our children?s consciousness of themselves in the world is being forged, tenuously dangling between entitlement, insecurity and, we hope, a third and better option. We have the responsibility as parents to provide a developmentally-rich context in which satisfied needs for closeness and belonging are counterbalanced by increasing experiences of self-direction and significance. Mature parents successfully nurture both secure attachment and responsible autonomy. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-child-interaction-therapy-positive-outcome/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-child-interaction-therapy-positive-outcome/ Wed, 17 Aug 2011 01:00:58 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dating-after-divorce-blending-families/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dating-after-divorce-blending-families/ Mon, 15 Aug 2011 17:30:57 GMT You?ve been divorced for three years and have been working at moving on in your life, establishing new relationships and feeling so much better about yourself than you have in a very long time. You are grateful for your friends and family and the support they have given you. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-depressed-parent/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-depressed-parent/ Mon, 15 Aug 2011 16:25:39 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/daily-family-listening/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/daily-family-listening/ Tue, 9 Aug 2011 16:49:38 GMT How many times have you heard something like this in your household? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/empty-nest-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/empty-nest-parenting/ Mon, 8 Aug 2011 19:02:05 GMT My son?s best friend just graduated high school and will be heading off to college this weekend. The one year age difference has never made a difference to these two boys, who have been virtually inseparable for the last five years. But it will definitely impact both of their lives when school starts. When my son starts his senior year of high school and looks around the halls, he will see fewer familiar faces. His friend will begin college classes amidst a sea of strangers. And his single mother, a dear friend of mine, is already experiencing a sense of loss, knowing that she will be coming home to an empty house now that her only child has left. But she will be okay. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/treatment-teens-drugs-alcohol/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/treatment-teens-drugs-alcohol/ Fri, 5 Aug 2011 15:48:52 GMT He was angry, aggressive, destructive, suicidal and blacking out. Then his parents found pipes, marijuana, and pills in his room and they suspected that he had been using other drugs. The family got into fights about his use and they tried different consequences to get him to stop using but his problems worsened and he kept using until he was arrested for possession. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/domestic-violence-pregnancy-bond/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/domestic-violence-pregnancy-bond/ Thu, 4 Aug 2011 01:00:12 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/childhood-stress-chronic-illness/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/childhood-stress-chronic-illness/ Tue, 2 Aug 2011 16:03:10 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/depression-signs-children/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/depression-signs-children/ Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:08:31 GMT Depression seems to be more apparent than it may have ever been. I do not have exact statistics with ages, gender, socioeconomic status and how depression has changed, but I do not think that it is necessary to go into that right now. At a time in any one person?s life, a person may or can experience depression. The severity of depression may be based on a number of factors such as: genetics, learned behavior patterns, environmental, family issues, individual perception of a situation and a person?s coping skills. These are the main ones that I particular see in my practice and in a hospital setting. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-mood-mimic-adhd-child/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-mood-mimic-adhd-child/ Wed, 27 Jul 2011 23:00:52 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mourning-loss-ideal/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mourning-loss-ideal/ Tue, 26 Jul 2011 15:22:57 GMT ?Which is harder - mourning an actual loss or mourning the 'ideal' of something you never had?? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/improve-communication-resolve-issues-teens/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/improve-communication-resolve-issues-teens/ Mon, 25 Jul 2011 15:35:19 GMT Teens often tell me their parents don't understand, don't listen or don't care about what they think. Parents wonder why their lectures fall on deaf ears. How do we bridge this communication gap? Parents often want to lecture instead of listen. Teens have heard it before and already know what their parents are going to say. As a result, the only purpose of a lecture is to make parents feel better. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mastering-craft-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mastering-craft-parenting/ Wed, 20 Jul 2011 15:36:02 GMT ?Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/playful-parents/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/playful-parents/ Wed, 20 Jul 2011 15:01:02 GMT Play is the special ingredient that offers a full and joyful life. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sex-after-giving-birth/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sex-after-giving-birth/ Tue, 19 Jul 2011 17:30:54 GMT The words postpartum depression and sex could basically be juxtaposted in a Sesame Street song: ?Which of these things is not like the other? Which of these things is kinda the same? Can you guess which thing is not like the other?? In other words, if you are recovering from postpartum depression, more than likely sex is not even remotely on the brain. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/alcohol-addiction-family-judgment/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/alcohol-addiction-family-judgment/ Mon, 11 Jul 2011 18:30:40 GMT When a family member is struggling with addiction the entire family system suffers. Life inside the family system can become a rollercoaster of emotions. It is common for parents to blame each other or themselves when their child is suffering from addiction. All family members are affected with the chaos that addiction brings to the family unit. Emotions often range from denial, grief, fear, anger, shame, and a tremendous sense of loss. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-healthy-eating/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-healthy-eating/ Fri, 1 Jul 2011 17:46:41 GMT My son who is 4 months old is eating pureed foods now. He is eating and liking his fruit and vegetables. I am happy about that. I know that is all he knows at this point but as he grows up, it will be more of a challenge to have him eat his fruits and vegetables and I and my husband will be responsible for that. WOW! What a challenge but maybe with planning it can be smooth. How? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-help-child-anxiety/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-help-child-anxiety/ Thu, 30 Jun 2011 17:07:09 GMT If our children are experiencing anxiety, beginning to panic, to feel so sick they refuse school or activities we want to help them. Nevertheless, how can we help a child when they are so anxious all they can seem to think about is the stressor that is provoking their anxiety? As a parent, you do not want to make the situation worse. There are solutions to help children the following ideas can be used together or separately and with repeated practice, children can learn to decrease their anxiety on their own or with a little encouragement. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/codependent-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/codependent-therapy/ Sun, 26 Jun 2011 14:00:44 GMT You may wonder how people get into therapy for co-dependency. Rarely do I have a client come in requesting help for co-dependency. More often clients come in for other issues, and we discover the co-dependency as I am getting to know them. I will describe some of the presenting problems that sometimes can be a red flag for co-dependency. Then, in subsequent articles, I will describe we work together in therapy to make things better. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/young-children-parent-cancer/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/young-children-parent-cancer/ Fri, 24 Jun 2011 16:18:54 GMT ?Ellen? is six years old. Her mother has stage four breast cancer, which she has been living with for a couple of years. However, her health is starting to decline. She is starting to have a lot of bone pain, and feeling quite fatigued. Recently, she has had episodes of confusion, due to the metastases in her brain. Ellen knows something is wrong with mommy, but when she asks her parents, they tell her everything is fine and that mommy will be all better soon. They don?t want Ellen to worry. They believe that by not talking about her mother?s illness, Ellen won?t think about it. When Ellen says she is sad because mommy doesn?t play with her as much as she used to and she stays in bed a lot, her parents tell her she should be happy because mommy doesn?t have to be at work anymore. They think they are protecting Ellen from the fact that her mother is dying, and that that is the best thing to do for a child. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/blended-family-stepfathers-fathers-day/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/blended-family-stepfathers-fathers-day/ Mon, 20 Jun 2011 17:16:18 GMT My husband was surprised the first time he got a Father?s Day card from our kids. Not having any kids of his own, his assumed role of step-father was one he was utterly unfamiliar with. He had been raised by his mother and has never known his father. Perhaps that is why that the whole concept of celebrating Father?s Day was foreign to him. When he first saw the cards lying on the table, he did not realize they were for him. After a few moments, it sunk in and a look of confusion and trepidation came over him. After graciously accepting them from the kids, and thanking them profusely, he shared with me his true feelings. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-mom-postpartum-depression-increased-risk-adolescent/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-mom-postpartum-depression-increased-risk-adolescent/ Mon, 20 Jun 2011 15:50:06 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapists-fathers-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapists-fathers-parenting/ Fri, 17 Jun 2011 19:13:16 GMT As a psychologist, I see many dads who take pride in and also struggle with being a father. In honor of Father?s Day, I would like to offer some reflections for fathers, families, and therapists about the importance of recognizing and celebrating fathers in therapy. Let?s start with a quiz: http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/postpartum-depression-men-fathers/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/postpartum-depression-men-fathers/ Tue, 14 Jun 2011 18:36:32 GMT Yes, it's true. One in four new dads have postpartum depression (clinical term is Paternal Postnatal Depression or PPND) after the birth of a baby. What this means in simple terms is dealing feelings of being down, depressed and anxious after the birth of a baby. The good news is that, fortunately, more and more information is being shared with the public about how common and how treatable postpartum depression is in women. And, the reality is that it's just as treatable in men as well! We can't forget those daddies! http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/whos-the-best/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/whos-the-best/ Mon, 13 Jun 2011 18:40:37 GMT The far enemy of sympathetic joy is envy, and the near enemy is comparing.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/transmission-separation-anxiety-parent-child/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/transmission-separation-anxiety-parent-child/ Wed, 8 Jun 2011 12:33:34 GMT Most parents are uncomfortable when their children are upset or cry. But some parents are much more troubled by their children?s feelings when the child is reacting to physical separation. For these parents, leaving their child with a babysitter when they go out to dinner or dropping them at daycare or preschool when they go off to work, is emotionally unbearable. For parents who find the process of separating with their children so intolerable, it is often the case that they had emotionally difficult separations from their parents when they were children. When a parent?s separation anxiety is so intense, it is often, consciously or unconsciously, transmitted to their children. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/casey-anthony-murder-trial-mothers-kill-mentally-unstable/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/casey-anthony-murder-trial-mothers-kill-mentally-unstable/ Mon, 6 Jun 2011 19:24:43 GMT With my son home sick, the hands that should have been busily typing away on my laptop were otherwise occupied rubbing his back and holding a bucket. Because I was not able to get my daily fix of literary lamenting, I turned my attention to the next best thing, the Casey Anthony murder trial. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-choose-parent-live-with/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-choose-parent-live-with/ Fri, 3 Jun 2011 13:44:32 GMT On a fairly regular basis I am asked by a parent how old their child must be before they can choose which parent they want to live with. Many parents tell me their child will be 12 years old, 13 years old, 14 years old soon and will be able to make their own decisions. They appear to be uniformly surprised to learn that a minor child does not have the legal right to decide which parent to live with. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-adhd-summer-activities/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-adhd-summer-activities/ Wed, 1 Jun 2011 21:22:52 GMT During summer while away from school many children lose of some of their academic skills that help them to succeed at their classes. Loss of these academic skills can be even worse for a child with ADHD. As a parent, what can you do to prevent this loss during their summer vacation? What activities or outings can help? Honestly, just about anything that keeps your children thinking and engaged. Did you know that some studies have shown that kids and teens 8 to 18 years spend nearly 4 hours a day in front of a TV screen and almost 2 additional hours on the computer (outside of schoolwork) and playing video games. 6 hours of screen time a day and possibly more because it is summer and they do not have school. For activities, try the following suggestions. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/weekly-family-time/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/weekly-family-time/ Tue, 31 May 2011 15:59:03 GMT My son?s grandparents are out here visiting and it?s been great. We have done a lot of things, and some things that I really did not want to take a 3 month old to, like Disneyland but since they were here, we did. Today we are going to do a few more things before they leave tomorrow. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/communication-competitive-versus-cooperative/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/communication-competitive-versus-cooperative/ Fri, 27 May 2011 18:15:49 GMT We are taught from the earliest of ages that good communication is imperative. In both subtle, and direct ways, we are taught to be competitive when we communicate. Simultaneously, we are told to be cooperative.  What an impossible task--to be cooperative and competitive at the same time. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/fatherhood-not-motherhood-lite/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/fatherhood-not-motherhood-lite/ Fri, 27 May 2011 17:55:15 GMT Hey Dads. Feeling irritable and distant? Blowing a fuse for no good reason? A little nervous about your disconnection from the kids?  Well here's a unique idea not always presented to fathers: You are Good Enough the way you are. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adult-play-philosophy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adult-play-philosophy/ Tue, 17 May 2011 21:51:54 GMT Play is serious business! http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mental-illness-root-healing/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mental-illness-root-healing/ Fri, 13 May 2011 19:44:12 GMT Oh no! Not another media medical correspondent saying what Catherine Zeta-Jones is dealing with ? bipolar two ? is not curable, but can only be managed and controlled. Not only did one more medical editor say this about Zeta-Jones, but he said it about mental illness in general: ?When it comes to mental illness, you talk about it more as controlled and managed*?? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/stard-mother-depression/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/stard-mother-depression/ Thu, 12 May 2011 14:00:34 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mother-daughter-relationship-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mother-daughter-relationship-therapy/ Wed, 11 May 2011 22:04:16 GMT Last night I dreamt that a woman with long octopus arms was breaking into my house by slipping through the cracks in the door, which I kept shutting, and she kept opening. When I woke up I heard the phone ringing- it was my daughter, who had been out late celebrating her birthday with her boyfriend. She forgot her keys and was locked out, and I was too deep asleep to hear her ring the door bell. The bell sounds had gotten tangled in my dream life, but the phone sounds broke in. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-decision/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-decision/ Wed, 4 May 2011 19:31:13 GMT You?ve been together now for about 14 years. For the past 4-5 years, you?ve wondered if you can stay together any longer. You?re interests have changed, you don?t enjoy doing things together as much. You find you are impatient and want to have the closeness, with someone, you used to have with each other. Your time is spent running from home to soccer games to business meetings to doctor appointments. There is little time left over to spend together and mostly you just don?t want to anymore. Too much work to bridge the gap that has been created. Your 12 year old daughter and 9 year old son are the lights of your life and spending time with them is much more fulfilling. And you don?t want to think about what your life will be like when they are older and don?t need you so much anymore. Perhaps, you think, that will be the time to consider leaving the marriage. In the meantime, the distance between you and your spouse widens. You don?t talk to each other so nicely anymore. Your tempers are short and you sometimes say things in front of the children you regret both because of the content and because you have been yelling. You are aware you may be doing some harm to the children as they watch the two of you ?go at it? with each other. Often, you find yourself thinking about the friend you have lunch with periodically at work, in a different way. You can talk to him/her more easily than with your spouse. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-prevent-child-bullying/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-prevent-child-bullying/ Tue, 3 May 2011 14:00:11 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-listening-child-conversation/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-listening-child-conversation/ Mon, 2 May 2011 19:43:27 GMT Connecting with and creating a stronger relationship with your child starts with listening to them. There are specific skills that a parent can master that help you to show your children that you care by listening to them. Instead of arguments, listen and show your understanding while maintaining your position. By attending to them and inviting them to talk, you can take steps towards a great relationship. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-compliance-defiance/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-compliance-defiance/ Thu, 28 Apr 2011 23:00:03 GMT I went to a Mothers Together meeting and there was a presenter that addressed how to get your child to be more compliant than being defiant. It was very interesting. I am going to share some of the information that I heard and found interesting as well as some of my own information. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/wife-post-partum-depression/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/wife-post-partum-depression/ Fri, 22 Apr 2011 13:00:57 GMT If you are the significant other/partner/support person/spouse of a woman who is experiencing perinatal challenges, you are not alone. Over 20% of all childbearing women develop postpartum depression/anxiety (clinical term). And a significant percentage of those women also have depression/anxiety while pregnant. It can feel very overwhelming as her primary support, and you may be wondering how to help her. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/lesbian-gay-parent-decision/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/lesbian-gay-parent-decision/ Thu, 21 Apr 2011 22:49:11 GMT One of the most striking aspects I've seen in working with lesbian and gay prospective parents is the amount of thoughtfulness, creativity and deliberateness that goes into the decision to bring children in their lives. Pregnancy is planned, not accidental, and there is usually not as much social or family expectation or pressure to parent. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adult-play-health/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adult-play-health/ Thu, 21 Apr 2011 20:35:54 GMT If you were handed good health, laughter, and joy would you take it? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-poor-friend-choice/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-poor-friend-choice/ Wed, 13 Apr 2011 06:00:08 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/communication-co-parenting-and-communication/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/communication-co-parenting-and-communication/ Thu, 7 Apr 2011 12:37:24 GMT You thought that getting divorced was going to make parenting easier. You thought your communications were going to improve because you weren?t living together anymore. You had high hopes that things would settle down and all the hurt, disappointments and anger would melt into the background. If you could just make decisions on your own without having to argue about everything you think is right and your ex thinks is wrong, you could have a much happier life. Instead, you find yourself feeling frustrated that the same communication problems you had in the marriage are still there, you still disagree about the same things and the stakes seem to have gotten higher while your life is not getting easier. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-quiet-time/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-quiet-time/ Fri, 1 Apr 2011 19:34:56 GMT I was talking with my friend the other day about how she feels that she does not have any time for herself, with her 4 and 2 year old children. I recently had a son, whom is now 6 weeks old. I can understand how she feels. I know I should be napping when he?s napping and I should be napping now, but am writing this article. I procrastinated a little, but that?s another article. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/grief-loss-child-yoga-chanting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/grief-loss-child-yoga-chanting/ Thu, 31 Mar 2011 21:57:55 GMT When he was three months old, my firstborn child was diagnosed with a choroid plexus carcinoma, a rare, aggressive brain tumor that grows on the structure inside the brain that makes cerebral spinal fluid. Two weeks after the initial resection of the tumor, and two more subsequent surgeries to drain fluid from his brain, he endured his first chemotherapy treatment. Three days following the administration of the chemo, a CT scan revealed that his brain was completely destroyed. The scan showed no healthy tissue. Doctors called it ?total neurological devastation.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/facebook-depression-youth-self-esteem/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/facebook-depression-youth-self-esteem/ Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:00:11 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-style-adolescent-mental-health/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-style-adolescent-mental-health/ Tue, 29 Mar 2011 17:11:57 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/and-baby-makes-three/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/and-baby-makes-three/ Mon, 28 Mar 2011 14:00:46 GMT For many couples, the decision to have a child is a no-brainer. After a year or two of married life, they decide they?re ready to transition from newlyweds to parents. If they?re fortunate enough to conceive easily, a bouncing baby girl or boy usually arrives within the year. Sounds so simple doesn?t it? Well, not for those of us with chronic illness. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/early-fatherhood-development/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/early-fatherhood-development/ Fri, 25 Mar 2011 14:00:49 GMT ?Their screaming and whining has got to stop.? My back and shoulders feel like dead weight. It?s as if my emotions have dried up inside of me. Then, quickly, they flow in like a tide, then burst upward over the stiff walls and spill over and out of me like molten volcanic magma. Toddlers, tantrums, terrible. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-children-mood-issues-treatment-decision/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-children-mood-issues-treatment-decision/ Wed, 23 Mar 2011 06:00:42 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/father-postpartum-depression-spanking/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/father-postpartum-depression-spanking/ Thu, 17 Mar 2011 19:00:45 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/importance-outdoor-play/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/importance-outdoor-play/ Wed, 16 Mar 2011 20:38:50 GMT Play is our human birthright and yet we see a devaluing of play in our culture. We are seeing the erosion of the value of play [http://usplaycoalition.clemson.edu] and play outdoors manifesting in nature-deficit disorder, a term coined by Richard Louv. When children and parents could be outdoors playing they are tied to a computer or television screen. Children and adults are experiencing greater incidences of obesity and other physical and emotional disorders due to the lack of physical activity, play outdoors, and connection with nature. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-tantrums-healthy-anger/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-tantrums-healthy-anger/ Thu, 10 Mar 2011 07:00:55 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-self-assertion-talking-back/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-self-assertion-talking-back/ Mon, 7 Mar 2011 18:26:05 GMT At every stage of development, children thrive when their parents listen to their ideas about what they want even if those ideas are very different from parents? wishes for their children. When you consider and take your child?s perspective seriously, you are giving your child a gift of respecting their growing unique individual selves. This doesn?t mean you have to agree or say yes, but you do need to express your understanding of what your child wishes. When you are able to consider that your child is not talking back, but may be asserting his developing self, you will be providing your child with the foundation for developing self-confidence and self-esteem. Differences create much less distance between parent and child when they are acknowledged and respected. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/tell-children-getting-divorced/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/tell-children-getting-divorced/ Thu, 3 Mar 2011 21:05:47 GMT It is difficult enough that you are experiencing a major upheaval in your life. In addition to the feelings you may have of fear, anxiety, anger, or frustration, you also have children. Their lives are changing as well. You hope they haven?t been affected too much by the tension between you and your soon-to-be ex, but you don?t know for sure. What is the best way to tell them? The following is a list of some of the ideas you might want to consider: http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adolescent-consequences-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adolescent-consequences-parenting/ Wed, 2 Mar 2011 20:01:01 GMT The subject of consequences comes up frequently in my work with teens and families. The fact that many parents of teens struggle with this area should come as no surprise. Up until adolescence, consequences are pretty straightforward and effective - if your little one wants this you distract with that, if she throws a tantrum you give choices and/or use a quick time out. For good measure we'll throw in a simple set of rewards and consequences for chores and behavior. Such is the journey that leaves one completely unprepared to parent adolescents. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/early-motherhood-challenges/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/early-motherhood-challenges/ Mon, 21 Feb 2011 17:08:06 GMT I often hear the following from my new mom clients: ? No one told me how hard motherhood would be. Why didn't someone TELL me?? The tone is often indignant and occasionally angry. ?What was I thinking?? might actually better capture many new mothers' (and fathers') sentiments in the days following childbirth. These thoughts are common for any woman who is transitioning to the role of motherhood for the first time. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-guide-behavior-punishment/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-guide-behavior-punishment/ Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:20:00 GMT How many times have I heard ?So, do you have a manual for my kid?? We learn from very early on in parenting that there is no such thing. Sure, there are generalizations about milestones, abilities and limitations, but just as adults are so different from one another, kids can be as well. For first time parents, it is hard to know what's normal for a certain age or what a typical reaction is when going through a stressful experience. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/voice-dialogue-transpersonal-perspective/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/voice-dialogue-transpersonal-perspective/ Wed, 16 Feb 2011 20:22:32 GMT This is the fourth in a series of articles on the Scapegoat and how Voice Dialogue can help heal this ancient phenomenon that continues to occur within all human communities and within certain sensitive and susceptible individuals. The first two articles explored the Shadow, the phenomenon called projection, and the history of the Scapegoat in human communities. The third article begins the sorting and healing process through Voice Dialogue sessions with a composite client named Helen. See the first three articles here. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/raising-children-toxic-free-relationship/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/raising-children-toxic-free-relationship/ Tue, 8 Feb 2011 19:49:21 GMT What is happening in your child's body as they observe you and your partner fight it out over your latest big trust issue? If it's anything near the results taking place in your own body, they can actually taste the level of toxicity of the argument. As parents, we are hyper vigilant about the level of toxins in our children's food, playgrounds, and classrooms but we can be selectively blind to the level of toxins passed on through our relationship. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/stepparent-adjustment-blended-family/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/stepparent-adjustment-blended-family/ Tue, 8 Feb 2011 19:33:44 GMT While most of us who marry intend it to be for a lifetime, about half of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. Divorce ends not only a couple relationship based at least initially on attraction, trust and commitment; it marks the end of a dreamed future as a family. Despite the pain that most divorces bring, the desire to be happily married doesn?t seem to end, since most of those who divorce will eventually remarry. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-say-i-dont-like-you-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-say-i-dont-like-you-parenting/ Fri, 4 Feb 2011 00:51:28 GMT It hurts, yes, but I don?t believe they really don?t like you. Kids, as young as 2, learn to say NO, have their feelings hurt and want to do things their own way. They do not have the cognizance to say, ?Mom, I?m mad because I can?t get my own way at this time. I understand why you said I couldn?t do something?. If they were able to then it would make things a whole lot easier! http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-details-divorce/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-details-divorce/ Thu, 3 Feb 2011 01:07:14 GMT Most divorcing parents believe their children are being protected from the details of their divorce. They make sure they speak quietly into the phone when discussing them with family and friends. They don?t leave court papers or their financial documents around. They only work on them when the children are with the other parent. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/girls-higher-rates-allergies-hygiene/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/girls-higher-rates-allergies-hygiene/ Mon, 31 Jan 2011 20:00:04 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/motherhood-lowers-risk-suicide-women/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/motherhood-lowers-risk-suicide-women/ Mon, 31 Jan 2011 07:00:01 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/connections-between-psychotherapy-science/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/connections-between-psychotherapy-science/ Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:00:24 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/tips-returning-to-work-mothers/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/tips-returning-to-work-mothers/ Wed, 19 Jan 2011 18:18:54 GMT ?The phrase ?working mother? is redundant.? Jane Sellman http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/social-factors-overweight-media/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/social-factors-overweight-media/ Wed, 19 Jan 2011 15:00:48 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-sexuality-development-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-sexuality-development-therapy/ Thu, 13 Jan 2011 15:28:56 GMT When we think of sex therapy we generally assume this takes place with and is for adults or couples only. But in actuality there is a gamut of information and work that can and should be done with children in therapy and in their daily lives. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/teen-access-mental-health-treatment/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/teen-access-mental-health-treatment/ Thu, 13 Jan 2011 15:00:04 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/support-at-risk-teens-families-victims/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/support-at-risk-teens-families-victims/ Tue, 11 Jan 2011 15:00:05 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-adjustment-coparenting-right-first-refusal/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-adjustment-coparenting-right-first-refusal/ Fri, 7 Jan 2011 16:33:27 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/neonatal-intensive-care-parenting-reading-depression/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/neonatal-intensive-care-parenting-reading-depression/ Fri, 7 Jan 2011 15:00:39 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-rituals-winter-celebrations/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-rituals-winter-celebrations/ Thu, 6 Jan 2011 15:54:29 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-new-year-resolutions/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-new-year-resolutions/ Wed, 5 Jan 2011 21:18:22 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parents-social-environment-impact-children/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parents-social-environment-impact-children/ Wed, 5 Jan 2011 07:00:08 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-discipline-connection-positive-relationship/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-discipline-connection-positive-relationship/ Wed, 29 Dec 2010 16:33:55 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/special-needs-children-isolation-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/special-needs-children-isolation-parenting/ Wed, 29 Dec 2010 15:34:45 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-anxiety-albert-ellis/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-anxiety-albert-ellis/ Mon, 27 Dec 2010 20:48:13 GMT This co-dependency article is the last chapter on managing anxiety. We will manage anxiety by learning cognitive behavioral strategies. To review, the other strategies include physical exercise to burn off adrenaline and relaxation breathing. We are learning to manage anxiety, because when we let go of co-dependent behaviors and beliefs, we often feel some anxiety. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/preteen-problems-violence-aggression-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/preteen-problems-violence-aggression-therapy/ Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:43:06 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/holiday-diversity-multicultural-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/holiday-diversity-multicultural-parenting/ Mon, 27 Dec 2010 17:13:58 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/conflict-with-care/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/conflict-with-care/ Thu, 16 Dec 2010 15:54:24 GMT When we find ourselves embattled, either viscerally aggressive or frozen, there is always an underlying process of anxiety occurring in our neural and limbic systems. The ?fight or flight? mechanism that often spirals us beyond the limit of reason and self-control has immediate effects in our neurochemical and hormonal processes. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/lgbt-mental-health-supportive-families/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/lgbt-mental-health-supportive-families/ Mon, 13 Dec 2010 20:00:25 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/relationships-self-esteem-object-relations-parenting-psychotherapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/relationships-self-esteem-object-relations-parenting-psychotherapy/ Mon, 13 Dec 2010 19:07:45 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/winter-play-therapy-family-children-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/winter-play-therapy-family-children-psychology/ Mon, 13 Dec 2010 18:39:11 GMT Both children and adults learn through play. This of course is not news to those of us in the field of play. What is news is the fact that we need to improve the quality of play for everyone. Many parents and educators are no longer in touch with the need for play for children in our driven, achievement-oriented culture. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-fears-child-psychotherapy-counseling-stigma/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-fears-child-psychotherapy-counseling-stigma/ Mon, 13 Dec 2010 07:00:22 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapeutic-play-sandplay-therapy-attachment/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapeutic-play-sandplay-therapy-attachment/ Mon, 6 Dec 2010 21:56:25 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/individuation-college-young-adult-mother-child-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/individuation-college-young-adult-mother-child-psychology/ Mon, 6 Dec 2010 21:13:26 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/post-partum-depression-holiday-season-self-care-resources/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/post-partum-depression-holiday-season-self-care-resources/ Mon, 6 Dec 2010 17:22:48 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-adjustment-parenting-plan-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-adjustment-parenting-plan-psychology/ Fri, 3 Dec 2010 16:52:41 GMT When parents divorce, a series of events unfold that require thoughtful and considered decisions about the future of their children.  It soon becomes starkly evident how many decisions are made on a daily basis as a parent.  Most people don?t realize how many decisions they make from one minute to the next.  Nor do they often realize how much coordination it takes to make the family engine run smoothly. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/teen-coping-skills-relationships-parenting-communication-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/teen-coping-skills-relationships-parenting-communication-psychology/ Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:36:21 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/attitude-through-body-baby-caregiver-psychotherapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/attitude-through-body-baby-caregiver-psychotherapy/ Tue, 30 Nov 2010 17:21:04 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-congenital-heart-disease-motherhood-depression-psychotherapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-congenital-heart-disease-motherhood-depression-psychotherapy/ Mon, 22 Nov 2010 20:00:49 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-child-bully-psychological-issues/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-child-bully-psychological-issues/ Fri, 19 Nov 2010 20:00:40 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/role-stress-family-children-anxiety-psychotherapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/role-stress-family-children-anxiety-psychotherapy/ Sun, 14 Nov 2010 15:00:48 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/television-children-play-therapy-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/television-children-play-therapy-parenting/ Fri, 12 Nov 2010 19:04:32 GMT A recent article in the Friday Journal section of the Wall Street Journal, dated November 5, 2010 states that preschoolers, aged 2 to 5, spend an average of more than 32 hours in front of the TV screen each week, according to Nielsen. To add to this horrific statistic a large percentage of preschoolers watch TV from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-interaction-children-mental-health/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parent-interaction-children-mental-health/ Thu, 11 Nov 2010 07:00:57 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/military-deployment-stress-children-mental-health/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/military-deployment-stress-children-mental-health/ Wed, 10 Nov 2010 07:00:30 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adulthood-parenting-psychotherapy-emdr-self-care/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adulthood-parenting-psychotherapy-emdr-self-care/ Fri, 5 Nov 2010 14:59:42 GMT I believe the task of childhood is to learn to be a good parent to ourselves, and the task of parenthood is to teach our children to become good parents to themselves. When this doesn?t happen, it becomes the goal of therapy. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/curiosity-communication-relationships-divorce/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/curiosity-communication-relationships-divorce/ Wed, 3 Nov 2010 18:44:22 GMT People who have been in long marriages or relationships get to know each other rather well. They can often anticipate what the other person might say or do or think or want......you get the picture. In loving relationships, partners might sometimes have a reliance on each other to know what each other wants without having to tell or explain....and sometimes they can and do just that. It might help them to feel loved, recognized and appreciated. The ?knowing? of the other person is experienced through a positive filter. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/voice-dialogue-psychotherapy-inner-scapegoat/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/voice-dialogue-psychotherapy-inner-scapegoat/ Fri, 29 Oct 2010 14:17:56 GMT This is the third in a series of articles on the Scapegoat and how Voice Dialogue can help heal this ancient phenomenon that continues to occur within all human communities and within certain sensitive and susceptible individuals. The first two articles explored the Shadow, the phenomenon called projection, and the history of the Scapegoat in human communities. See the first two articles at: http://www.goodtherapy.org/voice-dialogue-article.html. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-style-self-esteem-psychological-health/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-style-self-esteem-psychological-health/ Thu, 28 Oct 2010 06:00:43 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-temper-tantrum-parenting-communication/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-temper-tantrum-parenting-communication/ Wed, 27 Oct 2010 20:01:29 GMT Temper tantrums can be very frustrating to deal with. All children have a temper tantrum at one point in time or another. They can happen in the home, school, in grocery stores but may not necessarily happen when the child is at another person?s house. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/personality-birth-order-family-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/personality-birth-order-family-therapy/ Mon, 25 Oct 2010 15:55:49 GMT For generations, family members have noted the differences that naturally arise in children raised in the same family. How is it that John, the first born and only boy, seems to have such different personality characteristics than his younger brother, raised in the same house by the same parents just two years apart?  Good question! http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/gay-teen-suicide-parenting-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/gay-teen-suicide-parenting-therapy/ Fri, 22 Oct 2010 16:06:40 GMT Seth Walsh, 13, Asher Brown, 13, Billy Lucas, 15, Tyler Clementi, 18, Raymond Chase, 19, all died within the last three weeks as a result of suicide. All of them were bullied or harassed for being perceived as gay.  And these are just the names that we know.  There are many others out there suffering and struggling through the discovery of their sexuality. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/relief-for-clients-facing-postpartum-issues-and-anxiety/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/relief-for-clients-facing-postpartum-issues-and-anxiety/ Thu, 21 Oct 2010 20:40:43 GMT Having a baby is a milestone occasion in many women?s lives. It is a time of profound role transition and development of reordering of priorities. For many women, motherhood brings joy, a sense of wonder, and tremendous fulfillment. And, for at least 20% of all child-bearing women, motherhood can bring about significant perinatal mood/anxiety concerns. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adults-parenting-children-tolerating-anger-relationships/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adults-parenting-children-tolerating-anger-relationships/ Thu, 7 Oct 2010 14:00:05 GMT When confronted with your three year old?s ?I hate you, mom?, it is not easy to step back and consider that, if you respond with curiosity or acceptance, you may be giving your child a significant lesson about how to have a successful relationship. Tolerating a child?s hate and anger without attacking back or expressing hurt, communicates that you can withstand your child?s destructive wishes. It models that if he, too, were on the receiving end of hostility, he would be all right. It normalizes the expression of negativity and helps a child consider that he is not bad for having these feelings. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-children-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-children-parenting/ Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:00:47 GMT Families appear to be solid when parents are working together with job, family, parenting, having fun and individual time. Things turn for the better but mostly for the worse when divorce tears apart a family. EVERYBODY suffers, EVERYBODY is in pain. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/codependency-adult-relationships-dysfunction-family-addict/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/codependency-adult-relationships-dysfunction-family-addict/ Fri, 24 Sep 2010 17:43:54 GMT How does growing up in a dysfunctional family affect us as adults? The same behaviors and beliefs that we thought enabled us to survive as children cause us a myriad of problems in adulthood. These are so ingrained and automatic that we do them without even realizing it. Changing any of these behaviors provokes anxiety and fear in us, because we think they were a lifeline. In adulthood, they become an albatross around our necks. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/teen-tween-toddlerhood-parenting-praise-communication/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/teen-tween-toddlerhood-parenting-praise-communication/ Wed, 22 Sep 2010 16:29:47 GMT If you have an adolescent, somewhere between 11 years old and 16, listen up! http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-therapy-psychotherapy-children-teens-divorce-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-therapy-psychotherapy-children-teens-divorce-parenting/ Wed, 22 Sep 2010 14:48:10 GMT It?s not uncommon for a parent to bring a child to therapy and say, ?Fix it!? Of course, they don?t typically say ?it?; rather, they say, ?Fix Larry!? I can imagine my mother taking me to a therapist when I was in my teens because I needed (as we say down South) ?fixin.? At these moments I intentionally look at the adolescent or child to see their reaction. Sadly, most of them display no reactions at all ? they hear this statement on a regular basis. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-technology-family-therapy-social-network/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-technology-family-therapy-social-network/ Mon, 20 Sep 2010 13:27:56 GMT The human experience of parenting has changed some over the years. Biologically, having a child still involves all the relevant body parts, but these parts don?t necessarily have to belong to the parent in question; a mother?s body, a man?s sperm, can now all be borrowed, rented or purchased. All the wonders of the laboratory and operating suite of modern medicine that have been refined for assisting pregnancy just confirm the overwhelmingly shared human drive to procreate and have a family. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/ptsd-trauma-parenting-children-behavior-psychotherapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/ptsd-trauma-parenting-children-behavior-psychotherapy/ Fri, 10 Sep 2010 06:00:55 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-self-harm-cutting-psychotherapy-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/children-self-harm-cutting-psychotherapy-parenting/ Thu, 9 Sep 2010 15:39:23 GMT Where Does this Behavior Come From? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/post-partum-depression-men-women-abuse-psychotherapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/post-partum-depression-men-women-abuse-psychotherapy/ Thu, 9 Sep 2010 14:00:45 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/diverse-family-success-children-social-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/diverse-family-success-children-social-psychology/ Sat, 4 Sep 2010 14:00:54 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/bird-nesting-divorce-adjustment-family-custody/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/bird-nesting-divorce-adjustment-family-custody/ Fri, 3 Sep 2010 17:36:35 GMT Parents are often asking me to describe the various options they have for their post-divorce living arrangements. In addition to the many possible choices available to consider for how children go back and forth between two residences, there is also the possibility of having children stay in the home they are currently living in while the parents move in and out. This is sometimes described as ?the children get the house? or ?bird nesting? or just ?nesting?. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-children-interaction-relationship/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-children-interaction-relationship/ Wed, 1 Sep 2010 15:49:43 GMT This post should really be titled ?The Dirty Little Secret of Parenting that is Neither Dirty, nor Little, nor a Secret.? Because what I?m about to say is totally obvious and yet is often overlooked as a vital part of understanding children?s behavior. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-psychology-children-happy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-psychology-children-happy/ Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:32:01 GMT An elementary school principal once discussed with me an important issue in parenting. The context was her concern with parents who ask their children each year who they would like to have for a teacher the next year and then, not only request that teacher, but also put pressure on the administration to see that it happens, rather than letting things take their natural course. We parents have to watch that we don?t let our children take the lead in the relationship. Children get the idea that all they have to do is ask and mom and dad will take care of it for them. It isn?t good for them to always get what they want. Children will encounter a variety of people throughout life and need to learn to get along in whatever situation they find themselves. It is easy to fall into the trap of trying to enable our children by not allowing them to work out situations that come up in life. It is a misconception that it is our job to make them happy. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-lying-parenting-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-lying-parenting-psychology/ Tue, 24 Aug 2010 05:00:50 GMT All kids lie. They start young, look innocent into your eyes and tell you the answers that you want to hear. Then it?s like a shock as a parent that their child told a lie! How does that happen? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/drugs-teenage-males-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/drugs-teenage-males-parenting/ Thu, 19 Aug 2010 19:00:59 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-therapy-bed-children-sleep/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/family-therapy-bed-children-sleep/ Wed, 18 Aug 2010 15:10:24 GMT Young parents, especially exhausted moms, relish the moments when their children fall asleep in their arms. Ask any parent of teenage children: those long-ago moments when their infant children rested against their chests, heavy with sleep, are among their most cherished memories of parenthood. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-self-esteem-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-self-esteem-psychology/ Mon, 16 Aug 2010 15:25:39 GMT Self-esteem is a relational term. It describes a relationship between you and yourself. Having a solid sense of esteem for yourself puts you squarely in a partnership that is nurturing and accepting, as well as motivating and energizing. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/father-son-relationship-stress-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/father-son-relationship-stress-psychology/ Sat, 14 Aug 2010 19:00:17 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-custody-mediation/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/child-custody-mediation/ Wed, 4 Aug 2010 14:07:03 GMT Caveat: Because court jurisdictions vary, the information included here is based on Alameda and Contra Costa counties in the San Francisco Bay Area. You can find out about the rules in your jurisdiction by contacting an attorney or asking the public information office available through the courts. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/abusive-mothers-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/abusive-mothers-therapy/ Sun, 1 Aug 2010 14:00:34 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting/ Mon, 19 Jul 2010 14:56:05 GMT Social scientists love to study trends. These trends, whether short or long term, get written up into articles or lectures, and add to the general knowledge base of human beings and the world. Families, marriage, children and parenting are among those things most frequently written about and studied. That?s a very good thing. The problem comes when writers translate those carefully crafted statistics, trends or curves into newspaper, magazine, radio stories or full-length books. Trends become truth; small differences become the latest evidence of irreversible change. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/self-love-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/self-love-parenting/ Thu, 15 Jul 2010 14:52:09 GMT At what point did you make the decision to become a parent? Did you grow up with the intention that you wanted children? Was it something that you always knew and took for granted? Did you first consider it during an important romantic relationship? Or did you know for a fact that you didn?t want to be a parent with all of the joys and struggles that the job entails? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-holidays-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-holidays-therapy/ Thu, 1 Jul 2010 14:10:47 GMT Parent #1: It?s already December. We need to decide about Christmas and you had Johnny last year. Why do you think you should have him again this year? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/depressed-kids/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/depressed-kids/ Sat, 26 Jun 2010 06:00:10 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/spanking-children/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/spanking-children/ Tue, 22 Jun 2010 18:35:24 GMT Previously, I defined discipline as meaning ?to teach? or ?to train,? the root being ?to disciple.? I would like to expand on that because so often parents equate discipline with corporal punishment and automatically think they have to start spanking children when they are very young in order to ?make them mind.? Frequently, parents will say that their parents spanked them and they turned out okay, so what?s wrong with it? Just because something works doesn?t mean it is desired. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/addictive-families/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/addictive-families/ Tue, 15 Jun 2010 18:14:15 GMT Often the parent of a teenager or young adult in recovery will tell me that their son or daughter is ?like an extension of myself?. They might describe their offspring as being ?like one of my own limbs? or ?so close, it?s like we?re one person?. Inwardly, when I hear this, I often cringe. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/reasons-for-self-attack/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/reasons-for-self-attack/ Mon, 14 Jun 2010 17:44:36 GMT This is a continuation of last month's article, "Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?" Here are seven reasons why people attack themselves: http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/summer-vacation-communication/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/summer-vacation-communication/ Fri, 11 Jun 2010 14:40:35 GMT School?s out and some of our kids are already at home with us. Oh sure, some will go to sleep-away camp for a month, some will go to day camp returning every night, and then there?s summer school ? oh joy! ? and then there are some kids who will be home the entire summer with no particular plans. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/co-parenting-websites/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/co-parenting-websites/ Fri, 4 Jun 2010 15:53:35 GMT When is Johnny?s baseball game? I need to know the schedule. Does it conflict with some of the other activities he is telling me he wants to sign up for? Susie is consistently late for her piano lesson because we don?t know when Bobby?s soccer game is over. These are common complaints parents have when they are co-parenting and trying to manage the busy schedules of their children. It is made all the worse when communication between the parents is strained and coordinating schedules is not as easy as a phone call could or should be. Some parents manage it through email, however that can also provide a venue for anger to spill through. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/behavior-elementary-children-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/behavior-elementary-children-parenting/ Fri, 21 May 2010 15:06:41 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-happy-children/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-happy-children/ Mon, 17 May 2010 16:38:15 GMT Recently, an elementary school principal discussed with me an important issue in parenting. The context was her concern with parents who ask their children each year who they would like to have for a teacher the next year and then, not only request that teacher, but also put pressure on the administration to see that it happens, rather than letting things take their natural course. We parents have to watch that we don?t let our children take the lead in the relationship. Children get the idea that all they have to do is ask and mom and dad will take care of it for them. It isn?t good for them to always get what they want. Children will encounter a variety of people throughout life and need to learn to get along in whatever situation they find themselves. It is easy to fall into the trap of trying to enable our children by not allowing them to work out situations that come up in life. It is a misconception that it is our job to make them happy. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-adoption-resentment/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-adoption-resentment/ Mon, 17 May 2010 15:05:56 GMT The dreams we have for our families and for our children are full of deep expectations, some stated and many unspoken. This is true for families that have biological children and also true for families who choose to foster and adopt. You want to make a difference in the world and love a child that needs you. You want to offer your support and guidance and give a child the opportunity that he/she may have never had. The most frequent thing I hear from parents is ?I just want to help?. The best foster and adoptive parents know that helping a child involves not only a desire, but also the ability to stick in there when times get rough. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/stress-release-phone-therapy/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/stress-release-phone-therapy/ Thu, 13 May 2010 14:00:04 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/spirit-of-mother/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/spirit-of-mother/ Thu, 6 May 2010 17:08:48 GMT As we approach Mother?s Day, a holiday designed to pay homage to our birth mothers and their mother?s and any other living relatives with the word ?mother? in their titles, many people have conflicted feelings about the holiday itself and its obligations. Not everyone is eager to spend time, effort and money honoring this individual (or individuals). ?Mother? is a word that engenders ambivalence ? that love-hate relationship that many have with their birth parent in their families of origin. For those who were adopted or whose parent/grandparent is deceased, there are questions as to how to honor or recognize someone whose existence is a mystery. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parents-teens-sexuality/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parents-teens-sexuality/ Wed, 5 May 2010 14:00:25 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/unplanned-pregnancy-adoption/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/unplanned-pregnancy-adoption/ Mon, 26 Apr 2010 17:30:24 GMT Unplanned pregnancies can be quite a dilemma, a real crisis to find yourself in. Having fears and concerns about how you?re going to deal with this is normal and it?s common for anyone to ask, ?How am I going to get through this difficult time?? Taking the time to go through a process of exploring your options can be very empowering. One of the options available to you is placing your baby for adoption. Developing an adoption plan to help you move forward will be one of the most difficult decisions you can make, but it takes maturity, and shows you are putting your child?s needs before your own. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parental-suicide/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parental-suicide/ Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:00:45 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychology-spanking-toddlers/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychology-spanking-toddlers/ Fri, 16 Apr 2010 19:00:19 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/issues-abused-children-explored/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/issues-abused-children-explored/ Fri, 16 Apr 2010 06:00:17 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-adoption-child-behavior/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-adoption-child-behavior/ Thu, 15 Apr 2010 18:56:38 GMT It is common for children and adolescents in foster care/adoptive situations to exhibit challenging behaviors, some of which can be severe. It is equally common for parents providing care to these children to become upset and overwhelmed by what they see. Before parents are reaching the point where they themselves may have a behavioral episode, I always remind them to remember the environment that their child came from. By remembering what this child was experiencing during their formative years, we can better understand the behaviors we are seeing now. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-alcohol-addiction/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-alcohol-addiction/ Fri, 9 Apr 2010 20:21:16 GMT Over the years, we have written many articles for ezines.com and every month they send us a report on how many people have read each article. Our lifetime top performing article is ?Freeing the Parents of Adult Alcoholics and Addicts,? a variation on our very popular GoodTherapy.org column on the same issue. This leads us to an obvious conclusion: there are a lot of parents out there searching for ways to extricate themselves from the manipulative clutches of their addicted adult children. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychology-teens-friendship/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychology-teens-friendship/ Fri, 9 Apr 2010 14:35:56 GMT When your child is growing up, they enjoy being around you and it?s a great feeling. They don?t want to be away from you, they listen to what you say, they think you are the greatest, and again they listen to what you say. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-parallel-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/divorce-parallel-parenting/ Thu, 1 Apr 2010 17:26:45 GMT When two people divorce or end a relationship and they have children, they are faced with the need to continue a relationship that has not worked. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/suicide-prevention-motherhood/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/suicide-prevention-motherhood/ Tue, 30 Mar 2010 14:00:43 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/bring-out-strengths-in-children/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/bring-out-strengths-in-children/ Wed, 24 Mar 2010 16:11:11 GMT Each child, indeed each human being, has a mixture of strong points and weak points. Parents can choose to focus on either. A wonderful book that illustrates this point clearly is Use What You?ve Got by Barbara Corcoran. Corcoran tells the story of her rise from a D-student with learning disabilities to successful New York real estate magnate. She attributes her success to the lessons that her mom taught her. Mom, a mother of nine normal, challenged kids, had the knack of focusing on strengths. She brought out the best in each child. Weaknesses were of little interest to her. She gave young Barbara the message, ?Don?t worry about school. You?re much too energetic and creative for the classroom. Just wait until you grow up and you?re free to use your talents ? then you?ll really accomplish something.? Mom similarly encouraged all of Barbara?s siblings, finding the strong points of each one and highlighting them. All of the kids became successful and accomplished adults, despite their very real limitations. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/attachment-parenting-book-review/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/attachment-parenting-book-review/ Mon, 22 Mar 2010 14:06:46 GMT There are a number of excellent books about attachment, parenting, and treatment. I will describe in this article two books I have written that both therapists and parents may find valuable. In future articles I will describe other helpful books for therapists and parents. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-learn-communication/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/kids-learn-communication/ Thu, 11 Mar 2010 21:46:39 GMT Kids start learning how to communicate with their world from the moment they are born. They are programmed to vocalize and use their bodies in ways that are communicating their needs. Their cries, squeaks, squeals, screams, and even their giggles tell us what they need, along with the squirming and flailing of their tiny bodies. It is our job as Parents to interpret the meaning of these sounds and gestures, and then to respond effectively in a nurturing and soothing manner. We teach our children about the world around them every time we meet or don't meet their needs; by what we say and do, or don't say or do. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/counseling-parenting-frustration/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/counseling-parenting-frustration/ Tue, 2 Mar 2010 19:53:18 GMT Frustration. Most parents are very familiar with this emotional state! For some parents, frustration is an occasional and fleeting emotion. Some parents, however, live in a chronic state of frustration. Frustration is the feeling that you experience when there is a discrepancy between how you think things should be and how they actually are. Many parents suffer from a case of the ?should?s?. For example, you think your baby should sleep happily in her crib, but she cries every time you try to put her down. Or you think your toddler isn?t showing any interest in using the potty and you think he should be potty trained by now. Or your school age child is shy and you think she should be more outgoing and make more friends. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-anger-free-discipline/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-anger-free-discipline/ Mon, 1 Mar 2010 16:26:18 GMT Never Yell http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychology-pre-natal-anemia-schizophrenia/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychology-pre-natal-anemia-schizophrenia/ Sat, 13 Feb 2010 07:00:46 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-positive-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/therapy-positive-parenting/ Wed, 10 Feb 2010 15:48:13 GMT Parenting is not a role we play, it is a relationship process. If we can get our heads and hearts around that idea, the more we can decide how we want to treat our children as we are raising them. And we must first think about what long-range goals we have for them, rather than just what works for the moment. For example, hitting them might stop a behavior at a specific moment in time, but it does not teach self-control or self-discipline, which are attributes everyone wants to instill in their children. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dyadic-developmental-psychotherapy-connections/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dyadic-developmental-psychotherapy-connections/ Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:41:32 GMT In the previous articles about Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy I described the ten take-away points that I want therapists to take away from my Master Class, Level I, an Introductory courses in Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy. I then described a few of these in detail. In this article I will describe several of the others. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/counseling-parenting/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/counseling-parenting/ Fri, 29 Jan 2010 22:27:19 GMT I think most of us wish our kids came with an instruction manual. Wouldn?t that be nice? Whenever I have a concern about my minivan, I simply pop open the glove compartment, pull out my manual, flip through, and find the answer! Well, as you know by now, that isn?t the way it works with our kids! http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-toddlers/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-toddlers/ Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:33:02 GMT Little kids get into a surprising amount of mischief. They throw toys down the toilet, pull things out of the garbage, have major tantrums in public shopping malls, bite their babysitters and other unfortunate people, squeeze their baby brother so hard that it is life threatening, and so on. Though I must say, they are so darn cute to look at! http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mental-health-breastfeeding/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/mental-health-breastfeeding/ Thu, 14 Jan 2010 07:00:44 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychotherapy-parent-child-understanding/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychotherapy-parent-child-understanding/ Mon, 28 Dec 2009 20:48:28 GMT Importance of Understanding http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-gain-cooperation/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/parenting-gain-cooperation/ Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:46:32 GMT Here is one easy parenting tool that will change your life. It will also change your child?s life ? his or her entire life ? for the better. It is called The 80-20 Rule. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/meddling-parents-may-have-stronger-psychological-impact-on-kids-in-west/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/meddling-parents-may-have-stronger-psychological-impact-on-kids-in-west/ Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:00:06 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/study-finds-happiness-with-children-linked-directly-to-marriage/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/study-finds-happiness-with-children-linked-directly-to-marriage/ Tue, 3 Nov 2009 07:00:20 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/poor-expectations-among-parents-may-encourage-adolescent-misbehavior/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/poor-expectations-among-parents-may-encourage-adolescent-misbehavior/ Fri, 23 Oct 2009 06:00:04 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/social-support-wards-off-depression-in-parents/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/social-support-wards-off-depression-in-parents/ Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:00:45 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/warnings-arise-over-onset-of-in-school-stress/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/warnings-arise-over-onset-of-in-school-stress/ Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:00:23 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/aggressive-children-may-stem-from-controlling-parents/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/aggressive-children-may-stem-from-controlling-parents/ Thu, 10 Sep 2009 21:16:30 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/link-between-mothers-and-childrens-mental-health/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/link-between-mothers-and-childrens-mental-health/ Thu, 6 Aug 2009 15:28:10 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/teen-girls-are-most-susceptible-to-peer-judgment/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/teen-girls-are-most-susceptible-to-peer-judgment/ Wed, 22 Jul 2009 11:00:27 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Summary http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/post-partum-depression/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/post-partum-depression/ Sat, 23 May 2009 17:57:19 GMT A GoodTherapy.org News Update http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sex-drugs-body-image/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/sex-drugs-body-image/ Mon, 16 Mar 2009 14:45:01 GMT http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/benjamin-button-psychology/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/benjamin-button-psychology/ Wed, 4 Mar 2009 14:32:07 GMT Today I saw the movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It was a deeply moving film. I recommend it highly. And I also wish for you that you allow it to open your heart to yourself and others in a new way. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/yelling/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/yelling/ Mon, 6 Oct 2008 13:05:21 GMT Yelling at Children http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/respect/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/respect/ Wed, 4 Jun 2008 01:43:13 GMT As a family psychologist, I?ve found a common concern parents have about their children, even more common than the ubiquitous Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), is ?disrespect.? From talking back to ?having an attitude? to refusing to listen, disrespect is often at the top of the problem list parents bring to my office. I typically search for ways to move ?disrespect? down the list some. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/when-temper-tantrums-become-a-way-of-life/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/when-temper-tantrums-become-a-way-of-life/ Fri, 11 Apr 2008 00:50:35 GMT Parents must find a way to enjoy time with their child before they can end defiant behavior. Four year old Sarah throws temper tantrums, won't go to bed, refuses to take a bath, and is described by her parents as "hell on wheels." Peter, age seven, won't take his dishes into the, kitchen or perform other simple household chores. Thirteen year old David stays up past his bed time, argues with, his parents about everything, and has begun skipping school. His parents just don't know what to do. Do any of these children sound familiar? If so, you may know an oppositional and defiant child. Children who have spent years waiting for a family, whether in foster care in this country or in an orphanage abroad, sometimes learn negative behavior to survive. Acting out, they find, is a way to attract attention in an institution or foster home. They may then carry this behavior with them to a new home. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/ Tue, 19 Feb 2008 01:41:43 GMT The conversation began easily enough, "My brother is bleeding our parents into the poor house with his unending demands for money - money to support his addictions ? and they don't seem able to stop giving it to him, even though he isn't getting any better. What can we do?" http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/tips-for-supporting-your-child%e2%80%99s-therapy-experience/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/tips-for-supporting-your-child%e2%80%99s-therapy-experience/ Thu, 23 Aug 2007 01:32:16 GMT ? Share important information with the therapist after your child?s session.  Only share information with the therapist before the session if it will directly affect your child?s therapy for that day.  Also, telling your child to ?be sure to tell your therapist? about an issue puts pressure on the child and may seem like punishment. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/don%e2%80%99t-let-the-fear-of-screwing-up-your-kids-screw-you-up-as-a-parent/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/don%e2%80%99t-let-the-fear-of-screwing-up-your-kids-screw-you-up-as-a-parent/ Wed, 15 Aug 2007 20:21:57 GMT Let?s face it, we all want to avoid making the same mistakes raising our kids we believe our parents or surrogate parents made raising us. This is especially the case when we still hold grudges toward parents for what has or has not become of us. Under this historical cloud, we know yet may not admit to the old adage: ?The apple doesn?t fall far from the tree.? What this adage speaks to is the IMPOSSIBILITY of NEVER being like the parents we recall as having ?screwed us up.? As much as we swear that we will never treat our kids the way we were treated, the moments inevitably arise when we sound and act like our parents. This is human nature. We will on occasion, identify and repeat the most noxious and self defeating parenting practices employed by our parents. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/is-your-teen-dying-to-%e2%80%9chuff%e2%80%9d/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/is-your-teen-dying-to-%e2%80%9chuff%e2%80%9d/ Wed, 15 Aug 2007 01:57:53 GMT One day, you go into your son?s room and to your surprise, you find that missing can of whipped cream under his bed.  You think to yourself, ?That?s odd.? http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/preparing-your-child-for-school%e2%80%94more-than-supplies-and-clothes/ http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/preparing-your-child-for-school%e2%80%94more-than-supplies-and-clothes/ Mon, 13 Aug 2007 00:58:18 GMT As summer draws to a close you may be relieved to have all your children's school supplies and clothes ready, but have you done all you can to prepare them for everything they face at school?