Therapist Profile

My Approach to Helping

Having done extensive training as an Imago Relationship Therapist, I believe that restoring connection in our lives provides personal healing. Our original state is neutral, relaxed and joyful. Upon conception the notion of connection becomes an intregrel part of our development. When we are born, the birthing process in and of itself is symbolic of our first rupture in connection. Our first task upon our birth is to reconnect with our parents. Understanding that connection is a difficult and often imperfect task, our early life experiences with our family of origin impacts our picture of connection. Our families, who come into relationship with us impact us with their own wounds which in turn impacts our development and our picture of connection. Remebering that our original state is neutral, relaxed and joyful, the process of parenting that we received creates wounds that limit our ability to reconnect with our original state. The survival mechanisms in us is strong at a young age and we learn to adapt to the events that surround us. If a parent is too distant, not connective, or ignores our needs, we adapt by becoming loud, crying more, pursuing our parents or clinging in hopes of getting attention - connection. On the other hand, if our parents are smoothering, intrusive and dominant, we tend to pull away, attempting to alter the connection that is over powering and negative. Both scenarios demonstrate that the sense of self in relationship is impacted negatively and this sends a message of who we are. As we develop messages about who we are or who we should be, our ability to connect to others is impacted. An example may be a father telling his son not to cry because big boys aren't supposed to cry. Imagine the confusion when the child is feeling pain but cannot express it, the message is that "I am bad if I express my feelings" so the child will not cry in the presence of his father. And ultimately will learn that expressing feelings is not good and struggles in adult relationships because of the perceived lack of connection to his own emotions. We do survive childhood, woundedness and all, and eventually fall in love. The Romantic Part of adult relationships is the best time ever!! We feel alive and connected to our new love. We are light, playful, romantic and silly; it just feels good! What we aren't conscious of is that this is all an illusion. We belive that what we are experiencing is because of the other person, however, that is not quite right. There is something that is unconscious happening when we "fall in love". What happens is that we project the good feelings onto the other person, making it about them, thus, we feel those good feelings in their presence. However, that's just it "I feel good in their presence", it is how I feel about myself in their presence. We don't even know them yet! When we decide to commit to the relationship, we let them see all of us. Things tend to shift or change. Suddently, what seemed so good, now doesn't. The things that you fell in love with become sources of frustration. What's going on!! The Power Struggle is the next stage. It isn't a struggle for power or control, what is happening is that the individuality of the couple is emerging. The couple represents two distinct personalities, thus, there is bound to be some disagreement. So, what happens is that our partner is very good at pushing our buttons, opening old wounds and appearing not to want to help heal any problems. We blame them and demand change. The "dance" has begun and their seems to be no end in sight. Up to this point I've discussed the relationship journey. However, whether you are single or not, we experience similar troubles in our daily relationships as well. What we don't often focus on is that YOU, the individual, feels pain. Often in connection with others, whether it is intimate or whether you are single, but have other relationships (work, friends, family, acquaintances, etc.) How others are with us often unconsciously sends a message of how we think they see us or who we are. It triggers old feelings and pain. It is important to recognize that how we feel about ourselves impacts how we are in relationship. Understanding our "picture" of ourself, helps us to see how that picture impacts our daily life, relationship and behaviors. We can change, grow and through understanding "who you are" change becomes a reality. My approach is to work with a client to help them understand who they are. Its a journey on an individual basis or with a partner. This journey help one uncover unconscious childhood messages that were wounding, uncovering the core wound and seeing how this impacts how you see yourself, the world and how it impacts your ability to reach your goals. In relationship the goals are very similar, however, with a partner, we can focus on a process that increases understanding and creates some depth in the connection through empathy and compassion. It is often my honor to be a part of an individual or couple's journey into healing. I've learned a lot from the people that I have worked with over the years. Its a very powerful experience when an individual becomes conscious to their "self".

More Info About My Practice

I am a certified Imago Relationship Therapist and have been practicing this theory and method for 7 years. I'm also a certified "Getting the Love You Want" weekend workshop presenter. In addition, I do weekend intensives with individual couples which provides a 1:1 approach and offers more therapeutic attention. Either the workshop or the intensive provides an equivalent of 4 to 5 months worth of therapy! Hourly sessions: $105.00 Weekend Workshops/Intensives: $550.00 Sliding scale is available. I take Aetna, Value Options and Medicare. If your insurance is not listed, please contact your insurance company to see if they will reimburse for an out of network provider. Or, if you have any questions regarding insurance coverage, please call or email me directly.