Blogging on Good Therapy

by Noah Rubinstein, LMFT
Executive Director GoodTherapy.org

We named our organization GoodTherapy.org for a handful of reasons. One, good therapy is what most therapists, are striving to provide. Regardless of orientation, nearly all therapists can be included in the group of dedicated and caring folks who strive to “do no harm” in the healing process. Two, we want to express, in the title of our organization, the importance we place on quality in the psychotherapy process. Three, “good therapy” is catchy. The expression, “I (or he or she) could use some good therapy” has been around a long time. Fourth, GoodTherapy.org sounds better than www,JustOkayTherapy.org :)

But the phrase “good therapy” encourages a misconception: the idea that there is such a thing as pure good therapy, a process exempt of any problems or issues. In the same way that a perfect marriage is not one without problems, but rather one that works through problems – so is good therapy. No therapist is perfect and no therapy can be provided perfectly, no matter how ideal a therapy may be in theory. Even those of us who do the best we can to be conscious of our inner world and attuned to the therapeutic process have aspects we are unaware of, pieces of ourselves unhealed, and mistakes we make.

It is for this reason that we, as therapists, can’t blindly work with anyone who walks into our office, although many of us would like to believe otherwise. The responsibility we carry as healers requires us to seek not just consultation, but our own therapy, especially when working with someone who is provoking something significant within us. The danger lies in situations in which we are unaware that we are unaware, or unaware that we are defending against something inside ourselves. And because each of us harbors pockets of unawareness which impact our capacity to remain calm, curious, compassionate, and connected, aspects of “healthy” therapy and “not so healthy” therapy exist together in our work like the weave of fine cloth, inseparable. Again, like a marriage, good therapy is a process, not a state, and it is filled with the good stuff and, unfortunately, sometimes the not so good stuff.

So, in responding to the question, what is good therapy, our best answer is that good therapy is defined by the nature of the whole process and perhaps by the outcome, but unlikely will it be devoid of problems.

Good therapy is the sum of all the experiences, internal and external, occurring as a result of the imperfect psychotherapy process; and it leads toward self-awareness, growth, and the release of extreme feelings, energies, and beliefs. And what a blessing it is that even the best therapy can be lined with areas of unawareness, mistakes, challenges to the therapeutic relationship, and yet still turn out good, like a marriage. And for me this highlights the idea that, like a ying-yang diagram, we even need a little bad therapy mixed in with all the good. As paradoxical as that sounds, I believe it’s true. I am thinking of the beautiful repairs my wife and I have made, the important problems I’ve worked out with my friends, and the strong repairs made in therapy with the people I work with. A solid repair makes the connection and the trust deeper and better. So, cheers to road bumps in therapy, within all relationships, and within ourselves!

My hope is that the therapist members of GoodTherapy.org will be among the group of healers in the world who make a conscious effort to heal themselves, to identify their hidden pay offs and blind spots, to avoid harm, to reach for deeper self-awareness, and will recognize that the growth process is a never eneding journey for all of us…especially therapists. Click here to contact Noah and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 1st, 2008 at 9:39 pm and is filed under The Art & Practice of Psychotherapy, The Non-Pathological Model. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.