Comments on: Working with Childhood Grief: A Case Study in Grief, Trauma and Abuse

By: Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman

Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 00:10:13 +0000

Dear Beth,

I have published some material on Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, which is an evidence-based approach for families with children with Complex Trauma and disorders of attachment. A few references are:

“Child Abuse and Neglect: Effects on child development, brain development, psychopathology, and interpersonal relationships.” Therapeutic Child Protective Work, Vol. 1 #3, November 2003, pp 9-16, 2003.
“Subtle signs of attachment sensitivities in adopted children,” Healing, Vol. 9, #1, pp 14 – 15, Spring/Summer 2004.
Creating Capacity for Attachment: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy in the Treatment of Trauma-Attachment Disorders. Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D., & Debra Shell, (Eds.) Woods N Barnes publishing, Oklahoma City, OK, 2005
“Treatment for Children with Trauma-Attachment Disorders: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy,” Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal. Vol. 23 #2, April 2006, pp 147-171.
Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy: A multi-year Follow-up, in, New Developments In Child Abuse Research, Stanley M. Sturt, Ph.D. (Ed.) Nova Science Publishers, NY, Press 2006 pp. 43-60.
Becker-Weidman, A., (2007) “Treatment For Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder: Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy,” http://www dot center4familydevelop dot com/research dot pdf This one you can get on my website.
Becker-Weidman, A., & Hughes, D., (2008)“Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy: An evidence-based treatment for children with complex trauma and disorders of attachment,” Child & Adolescent Social Work, 13, pp.329-337.

regards

Art

By: Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman

Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 00:08:53 +0000

Dear Beth,

By: Beth Patterson, MA

Beth Patterson, MA — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 22:31:44 +0000

Thank you all again. In response to some of your questions, I did have the opportunity through my work with Healing Circles to interact with both the children and their parents/primary caregivers, and do some process work with both, which can be very healing. On the other hand, sometimes the children feel safer to freely express their feelings. Sometimes they feel that they have to “protect” their adult family members and sometimes they just don’t feel safe to express themselves with their parents, so it is my job to assess this and do what is best for the child.

Dr. Becker-Weidman - thank you for your thoughts. I am aware of John Briere’s work, and would be interested in seeing some of your work as well.

By: Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman

Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 00:26:43 +0000

Are you aware of the work of John Briere, Principles of Trauma Therapy and the text I wrote with a colleague about Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy, Creating Capacity for Attachment, which is about an evidence-based treatment for children who have experienced chronic early maltreatment within a care-giving relationship (Complex Trauma)? It seems that there are some important points of agreement between those works and your work.

Very well presented.

By: Sally

Sally — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:45:41 +0000

As a classroom teacher I have witnessed in the past many heartbreaking instances of children working through grief alone with no one in the home to guide them. I consider myself and my profession in general a key resource for children to helping them understand what they are going through and to help them deal with their emotions when there is no one else there to help them do so.

By: Libby M

Libby M — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:07:41 +0000

That is an interesting question and one that I toto think is very relevant to the discussion. I too would love to know about any parent/child interactions that you may have witnessed and how that factors into this article’s views. Thanks

By: Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman

Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:51:40 +0000

Thanks for a very thoughtful article. Since responses to loss and trauma (one’s resiliency) is closely related to the current state of ones relationships, especially the nature and quality of ones attachment relationships, I wonder how you’d factor that into your thinking? Did you do any work with the child and parents together?
regards

By: Beth Patterson, MA

Beth Patterson, MA — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 02:15:35 +0000

I am happy to see that my article provoked such a good discussion and to see death and grief come “out of the closet” in the thoughtful ways reflected in all of your responses. Thank you!

In fact, I was watching the Rockies baseball game on TV this weekend, and was so pleased that the commentators did an in-depth interview with Brian Griese, former QB for the Broncos, now with Tampa Bay. Brian’s mother Judi died when Brian was 12, and he founded Judi’s House in Denver to support grieving children. It was truly awesome to hear grief discussed in such a public way! I would be happy to confer further with any of you.

By: Berkeley Therapist

Berkeley Therapist — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:36:54 +0000

This is when family therapy sessions can be so beneficial. You will help everyone deal with the grief and emotions in a situation in a way in which they will then be better able to nurture and support one another.

By: Steve Hopkins

Steve Hopkins — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:27:57 +0000

I think that one of the biggest issues you will find when helping children work through grief is that they often do not have adult caregivers in their lives who even know how to help them begin the process in a healthy manner. Adults themselves often do not know how to do it and then they just perpetuate that same cycle in the children around them. It is not a matter of they do not want children to process things in an emotionally healthy way, it is just that they do not know how to themselves and therefore this leads to the same things playing out in the lives of the kids too.

By: Jeni

Jeni — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:58:13 +0000

But there are people when bad things like this happen who simply let their kids navigate this unfamiliar wilderness alone because they do not know how to grieve either. This has to be a learning process for all involved.

By: Jeanette Counselor

Jeanette Counselor — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:51:42 +0000

This is imperative. Children process grief in a different manner than adults because they many times do not posess the cognitive skills to completely work through their issues in a way which will promote a healthy outlook for them in the long term. We all need to reamin very aware of this difference in the ways that young children handle the grief experience and make sure that they are able to freely express themselves and handle their emotions which is going to help them remain emotionally healthy in the future.

By: amyhop

amyhop — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:48:09 +0000

This is so sad. People need to learn to treat children like children not as small adults and help them handle the grieveing process in a way that is age appropriate and safe for them.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 19:46:35 +0000

Shannon that is a terirble experience that you have had to endure but it sounds as if you have really begun to work through that and are doing well with it. I admire your resilience and hope that there are others out there who are able to take the same steps you have taken and heal from those painful wounds.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 23:49:09 +0000

I have a very personal experience with this that I would like to share. My real father killed himself while my mother was actually pregnant with me so although I never knew him others always tried to hide this about him from me. It was not until I was a teen that I discovered the truth, but it left me free to grieve to more openly for the father I never knew. I think I would have been a whole lot healthier mentally had people in my family let me know all of this earlier and allowed me to find peace with it in a way that made much more sense than what I had to deal with.

By: Kyle

Kyle — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 12:06:14 +0000

It always baffles me when people expect children to grieve like adults. They don’t know how to do that- many adults don’t either! We just have to make it a point to be there for them, be honest with them, and be there for them to fall back on when they need more comfort and understanding.

By: ashley

ashley — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:48:57 +0000

Is there a safe way to explain to a youbg child that a prent or loved one who has died will not be coming back, that death is final? Is there a way that will not cause them too much damage in the long run but which will allow them to grieve in a healthy way?