Comments on: 6 Secret Qualities of Happy People

By: Carolyn

Carolyn — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 17:21:15 +0000

I can honestly say that I am happy majority of the time. Yes, there are times where I get stressed at work or upset of a loved one who has passed away, but I find myself enjoying the job I do, being in the moment and always trying to look at the positive side of things (which sometimes can be hard). It does help to surround yourself with positive people as well.

By: David

David — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 20:16:45 +0000

All of this makes so much sense. Why is it that you can read it and it will all make sense yet it is so difficult to follow through and have it to make a real impact in your own life? If only it was all as easy as it sounds!

By: Jeni

Jeni — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 01:14:40 +0000

I find that, like the article says, when I am able to stay in the moment and not dwell on the past or worry about the future I am always in a better mood. That issue alone seems to be an important key to my happiness.

By: Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Fri, 30 May 2008 02:32:31 +0000

I agree - it can be difficult for many to achieve all of the qualities mentioned at once and I didn’t mean to indicate that you needed to have them all going at the same time to be happy. Thanks for the feedback and good point.

By: Margo

Margo — Thu, 29 May 2008 22:08:46 +0000

Honestly I like the concept of this article but it just all seems a little too easy. There are going to be times when you just cannot achieve all of these qualities at once- unfortunately for many life just does not work out this way.

By: Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Tue, 27 May 2008 16:41:54 +0000

I can’t speak for her ability to have empathy for herself - but I believe it begins with our family of origin experiences (parents being empathetic with us)…However, for those of us who didn’t get this early on, we can develop it through self awareness and practice. I do a lot of inner child work with my individual therapy clients who have suffered emotional damage as children - where in order to learn to be empathetic with ourselves we need to start with having empathy for the child who didn’t get his/her needs met.

By: maddie

maddie — Tue, 27 May 2008 11:45:51 +0000

I like the post too. Why do you think she is able to have empathy for herself? Was it the process of being raised in a friendly home environment as a child where parents gave her a break too? Or is that a self awareness which just naturally comes with age for many people?

By: Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Mon, 26 May 2008 17:26:54 +0000

What’s wrong with a Pollyanna attitude anyway? You said something very important there - “I like thinking of myself as a work in progress. That way I do not allow myself to get bummed out when I make a mistake…” This is called providing empathy for yourself - giving yourself a break. So many of us don’t know how to be empathetic to ourselves as we don’t believe we deserve it. Great post.

By: Cynthia V

Cynthia V — Mon, 26 May 2008 16:41:33 +0000

I like thinking of myself as a work in progress. That way I do not allow myself to get too bummed out when I make a mistake, I can just keep moving along, try to repair what I have done wrong. I think that getting bogged down in the past is certainly not a trait of a happy person and that we always have to find a way to n ot only be grateful for what we have today but for the good which will come with tomorrow. Hope that does not sound too Pollyanna!

By: Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Sun, 25 May 2008 19:00:35 +0000

Funny you say that - after leaving my post I thought, “I could use a gratitude journal right about now,” and started looking for a notebook to keep next to my bed. If it’s not next to my bed I know myself well enough to admit I probably won’t get to it otherwise. But this is certainly a case of trying to live by my own words which for therapists isn’t always a ‘given’ (as much as some people might think we lead perfect lives with perfect relationships in sheer bliss…tee hee…). We’re all a work in progress.

By: gamecock96

gamecock96 — Sun, 25 May 2008 18:23:08 +0000

That’s an interesting idea to do a gratitude journal- that would certainly help keep me focused on the good things versus the bad. Think I will start working on that today!

By: Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Sat, 24 May 2008 16:53:44 +0000

Yes - I think a lot of what determines people’s ability to do that is what color lense they look at life with - the glass “half full vs half empty” metaphor. Some naturally have a more sunny outlook and have less difficulty staying “focused” on the positives. Makes me think of gratitude journals - writing every day about atleast one thing to be grateful for. Over time I think this can help to shift one’s perception.

By: ashley

ashley — Sat, 24 May 2008 12:37:33 +0000

It is all a matter of focus. I have to constantly tell myself not to focus on the bad things and just be grateful for the good.

By: Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Sat, 24 May 2008 05:14:20 +0000

I agree with what you said about getting “caught up in the drama of things going wrong in our lives” and failing to notice or appreciate what’s working. Amen to that. Thanks for the feedback.

By: Jeanette

Jeanette — Sat, 24 May 2008 04:01:08 +0000

It is too easy- we get caught up in the drama of things going wrong in our lives and fail to take notice of the things that are good. I am going to share this with everyone that I know and try to surround myself with others who are focusing hard and working hard in these areas too. I think that sometimes we attract people by our behavior and these are the things that I want to use to attract more positive people into my own life.

By: Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT

Lisa Brookes Kift, MFT — Thu, 22 May 2008 16:55:38 +0000

Thanks - glad you found the article helpful. It’s easy to lose focus on what’s important isn’t it???

By: Sandy

Sandy — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:16:18 +0000

What a great article! I think that so many of us strive to create happiness in our lives and really it is these 6 simple elements which will help us achieve this. I am printing these 6 items and putting them everywhere to help remind me and keep me focused!