Comments on: A Reflection of Addiction http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/ <<exploring healthy therapy & counseling>> Wed, 08 Oct 2008 03:31:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Chris http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-11557 Chris Sat, 20 Sep 2008 18:39:39 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-11557 Sex addiction is real, and it causes people to do things they will regret for the rest of their lives. I know this because I am one of them. I have a steady girlfriend / now fiance, and I went through a stage in my life where I had a handful of sexual encounters, one of them being a prostitute. The grief and remorse are overbearing, enough so that I came clean and told my partner of 7 years, who I am still with today. At this point all I can pray for is forgiveness and understanding, as well as the protection of my partner that she can trust me fully again. That is all... Sex addiction is real, and it causes people to do things they will regret for the rest of their lives. I know this because I am one of them. I have a steady girlfriend / now fiance, and I went through a stage in my life where I had a handful of sexual encounters, one of them being a prostitute.

The grief and remorse are overbearing, enough so that I came clean and told my partner of 7 years, who I am still with today.

At this point all I can pray for is forgiveness and understanding, as well as the protection of my partner that she can trust me fully again. That is all…

]]> By: Jeni http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8471 Jeni Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:57:24 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8471 Well he certainly can't feel good about it. He lost his job, the trust of his family, and the respect of the people of the state where he lives. He has nowhere to go but up, and I think that we have to support he as well as others who are encountering these same types of situations. it is not up to us to pass judgement, but to make sure that the right resources are out there for he and those like him to seek and receive the help they need. Well he certainly can’t feel good about it. He lost his job, the trust of his family, and the respect of the people of the state where he lives. He has nowhere to go but up, and I think that we have to support he as well as others who are encountering these same types of situations. it is not up to us to pass judgement, but to make sure that the right resources are out there for he and those like him to seek and receive the help they need.

]]> By: gamecock96 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8469 gamecock96 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:55:07 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8469 Don't you know that this enhtire family has to be feeling pulled apart because of his actions? How must he feel knowing the pain and embarassment he has caused for them? Don’t you know that this enhtire family has to be feeling pulled apart because of his actions? How must he feel knowing the pain and embarassment he has caused for them?

]]> By: upstatesc http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8419 upstatesc Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:43:57 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8419 You make a very valid point, but one that is still a little hard for me to swallow. I often wonder what his wife has to be thinking and feeling after all these years of marriage and everything she gave up to go with him to the governor's office. maybe someone should present an article about why these wives always seem to find it within themselves to stand by their man. That would be an interesting case study. You make a very valid point, but one that is still a little hard for me to swallow. I often wonder what his wife has to be thinking and feeling after all these years of marriage and everything she gave up to go with him to the governor’s office. maybe someone should present an article about why these wives always seem to find it within themselves to stand by their man. That would be an interesting case study.

]]> By: maddie http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8417 maddie Tue, 29 Apr 2008 19:41:45 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8417 It must be very tough to seek help for this type of sexual addiction problem. How do you even know where to begin? There is such a stigma attached to this. So while I do not think that the behavior of the governor is right I do think we need to have compassion for others and hope for the best with his treatment process. It must be very tough to seek help for this type of sexual addiction problem. How do you even know where to begin? There is such a stigma attached to this. So while I do not think that the behavior of the governor is right I do think we need to have compassion for others and hope for the best with his treatment process.

]]> By: Steve H http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8323 Steve H Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:07:21 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8323 Carolyn I am so sorry that you had to experience this. But I think that a lot of this boils down to the selfishness of others. I think Spitzer feels entitled to these things and in the end had to end up making a fool of himslef before hopefully realizing that he needs help. Carolyn I am so sorry that you had to experience this. But I think that a lot of this boils down to the selfishness of others. I think Spitzer feels entitled to these things and in the end had to end up making a fool of himslef before hopefully realizing that he needs help.

]]> By: Carolyn http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8319 Carolyn Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:05:51 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8319 I was involved for a very long time with a man who exhibited these classic signs of sexual addiction. It is not just about wanting sex all of the time- it is about using it as a manipulator and as a way to control every situation. That is how he felt the most in control of things when that was so far from the actual truth. This can be a very painful experience to endure and should make all of us open our eyes a little wider to these problems. I was involved for a very long time with a man who exhibited these classic signs of sexual addiction. It is not just about wanting sex all of the time- it is about using it as a manipulator and as a way to control every situation. That is how he felt the most in control of things when that was so far from the actual truth. This can be a very painful experience to endure and should make all of us open our eyes a little wider to these problems.

]]> By: sandy http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8289 sandy Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:29:02 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8289 This type of sexual addiction is more prevalent and common than many of us realize. I think for some it is not about the sex but about being able to get away with something and not getting caught. Obviously this did not work in Spitzer's case this time. This type of sexual addiction is more prevalent and common than many of us realize. I think for some it is not about the sex but about being able to get away with something and not getting caught. Obviously this did not work in Spitzer’s case this time.

]]> By: David http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8287 David Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:27:22 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8287 I do feel that parents have that responsibility to their children- to love and care for them and let them know a sense of security. I also feel that it is up to us as a whole society to provide this for others- in our neighborhood, our church, schools, etc. It still just baffles me that this man who seemed to have it all would give it all up for a few nights with a young woman who obviously is attractive but could never give him the years and stability and family that he had with his own wife. I do feel that parents have that responsibility to their children- to love and care for them and let them know a sense of security. I also feel that it is up to us as a whole society to provide this for others- in our neighborhood, our church, schools, etc. It still just baffles me that this man who seemed to have it all would give it all up for a few nights with a young woman who obviously is attractive but could never give him the years and stability and family that he had with his own wife.

]]> By: Marcia Brubeck http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8147 Marcia Brubeck Sat, 26 Apr 2008 12:38:33 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8147 Great post! Like me, I think, you work with children. Would you agree that giving them the resources to combat addiction in later life means giving them--as both parents and concerned adults in the community--"a sense of safety, a sense of feeling lovable, and a sense of feeling competent" (mastery)? So very important for parents to do. Also I think that when people are condemned for negative behaviors, we therapists and responsible citizens can promote listening, understanding, and forgiveness by inviting the critics to contemplate the suffering that gave rise to the behaviors in the first place. Speaking about people on Death Row, Sister Helen Prejean once remarked, "Everyone is more than the worst thing he has ever done in his life." I think the observation applies to stigmatized addicts as well. Great post! Like me, I think, you work with children. Would you agree that giving them the resources to combat addiction in later life means giving them–as both parents and concerned adults in the community–”a sense of safety, a sense of feeling lovable, and a sense of feeling competent” (mastery)? So very important for parents to do. Also I think that when people are condemned for negative behaviors, we therapists and responsible citizens can promote listening, understanding, and forgiveness by inviting the critics to contemplate the suffering that gave rise to the behaviors in the first place. Speaking about people on Death Row, Sister Helen Prejean once remarked, “Everyone is more than the worst thing he has ever done in his life.” I think the observation applies to stigmatized addicts as well.

]]> By: David http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/04/23/a-reflection-of-addiction/#comment-8051 David Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:59:38 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=459#comment-8051 Every time I have considered this case, even as a man, I have scratched my head as well. Why in the world would someone who seemingly has it all give it up for a high priced prostitute? Is this what now qualifies as sex addiction? Every time I have considered this case, even as a man, I have scratched my head as well. Why in the world would someone who seemingly has it all give it up for a high priced prostitute? Is this what now qualifies as sex addiction?

]]>