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A GoodTherapy.org News Update

If you are the parent of a teen or have a teen in your life, then you are surely familiar with MySpace, Facebook, YouTube, and countless other social networking sites where teens congregate. These sites have become a “virtual playground” where anonymous teens engage in vicious bullying without even leaving the house. The bullying isn’t limited to the internet though. Teens are being harassed by peers via cell phone text messages also. The internet offers anonymity and allows bullies to engage in behavior that would not be socially acceptable in a public forum. Sadly, the tragic story of Megan Meier, who committed suicide after enduring cyber-bullying, is an example of seriousness of this issue. Megan’s death brought to light the need for laws to hold cyber bullies responsible for their actions. In fact, this phenomenon has challenged many states (Texas, New Jersey, Oregon, California, Rhode Island, and New York) to establish laws to deal with cyber-bullying issues. There is even a non-profit foundation dedicated to educating young people about internet safety: i-SAFE Inc. Parents need to be encouraged to talk with their teens about cyber-bullying and monitor what their teen is doing online.

An equally disturbing trend is the physical attacks of peers teens are videotaping for broadcast on the internet. Not only does a victim suffer physical pain, he/she now must undergo endless humiliation as the beating is played over and over again on popular sites such as YouTube for thousands to see. There is a boomerang effect wherein the initial incident becomes fodder for hallway gossip at school, furthering the humiliation for the victim. In an interview with People magazine for a story about a video beating of a Florida teen, Dr. James Garbarino (author of several books on teen violence) stated, “Violence tends to become depersonalized when it’s on the Internet.”

The problems arising from cyber-bullying include teen suicide, school violence, and depression. Therapists who work with teens need to be educated about cyber-bullying and prepared to help teens work through these problems. Additionally, some focus is needed on identifying and treating the cyber bullies themselves.

By Lori Payne, LPC-S Click here to contact Lori and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

©Copyright 2008 by GoodTherapy.org All Rights Reserved. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Lori and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., C.H.T.

Click here to contact Cedar and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

“Altruism is a natural expression of human development and a healing force in society…Caring coupled with imagination and enterprise is the essence of creative altruism. If we ignore our capacity for compassion and care, we diminish the texture of our lives, our ability to help others heal and grow, and our collective potentials for social healing. By opening ourselves to the reality of shared being, we enhance the wonder and richness of the world and liberate the creative and constructive energies of the human heart, mind, and spirit.” —Tom Hurley

Karen Armstrong adds to her statement about the need for an ethic of compassion: “The early prophets did not preach the discipline of empathy because it sounded edifying, but because experience showed that it worked. They discovered that greed and selfishness were the cause of our personal misery. When we gave them up, we were happier. Egotism imprisoned us in an inferior version of ourselves and impeded our enlightenment.” Fascinatingly, recent neurological research by Moll and Jordan Grafman has shown that taking action in the best interests of others is coded in the brain. In a study in which they scanned the “brains of volunteers as they were asked to think about a scenario involving either donating a sum of money to charity or keeping it for themselves,” the results showed that “when the volunteers placed the interests of others before their own, the generosity activated a primitive part of the brain that usually lights up in response to food or sex. Altruism, the experiment suggested, was not a superior moral faculty that suppresses basic selfish urges, but rather was basic to the brain, hard-wired and pleasurable.” (Moll and Jordan Grafman are neuroscientists at the National Institutes of Health. Quote is from an article by Shankar Vedantam, The Washington Post, May 28, 2007.) There is an surviving and thriving impulse and advantage for those who develop and use their capacities for social intelligence. This social intelligence is accessed through the social engagement nervous system referred to on page 91 of Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics. (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Greg Madison, PhD

Click here to contact Greg and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Contrary to popular belief, Existentialism did not die out along with student riots, free love, and LSD. In fact in recent years it has made a resurgence in, of all places, psychotherapy and coaching. I am an Existential Psychologist practicing in Brighton & London UK, and here I will outline how existential philosophy can form the basis of an increasingly popular approach to helping professions.

Mention the word ‘existential’ and what probably comes to mind is an atmospheric little Parisian cafe along the Left Bank of the Seine, beret-wearing depressives huddled together smoking Gitanes and pontificating about the meaning of life. It’s a stereotype from the sixties associated with the philosophy and the political antics of such notaries as Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir. What’s less known is that since the late 1980s there has been a resurgence of existentialism in the English-speaking world, most notably within the hotbed of North London psychotherapy society.

This so-called ‘British School’ of Existential Therapy bases its psychology on the philosophies of Martin Heidegger, Jean-Paul Sartre, Soren Kierkegaard, Friedrich Nietzsche, and other continental philosophers. Though each of these philosophers has something unique to say, they all stress individual responsibility, the freedom to choose our lives, and living in full awareness of the unavoidable limits to life, including of course mortality. What we decide to value and believe in life governs our conduct, allowing us to succeed and feel safe in certain ways while also creating difficulties in other areas of life. (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by John Rhead, Ph.D.

Click here to contact John and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Intimacy refers to being seen or known. One can be seen or known by oneself, by another being (human or otherwise) or by God. Individual psychotherapy usually focuses on knowing oneself better, which is to say becoming more intimate with one’s self. The usual term for this process is “insight.” Group psychotherapy addresses being better known by others, which of course results in greater knowing of oneself in the process. This is the place where the term “intimacy” is most commonly used. Relationships with non-humans in which one comes to be known can be as mundane as a relationship with a pet dog or cat and as elaborate as encounters with spirit guides in all kinds of animal forms while engaging in shamanic journeying. Finally one may experience being known by God, or the Sacred Mystery, through spiritual practices such as prayer and meditation. Of course many would assume that one does not really reveal oneself to God through such practices, since it is assumed that God already knows everything; the experience of being known by God is really just a result of coming to know oneself better through spiritual practices. (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Mary Ellen Barnes, Ph.D. & Ed Wilson, Ph.D., MAC

Click here to contact Mary Ellen and/or see her Profile
Click here to contact Ed and/or see his Profile

When we were scratching around wondering what to call our counseling practice we coined and rejected a lot of possibilities. Some names we considered were obscure, some taken, some boring, and a few were just plain silly. Then we took a look at what it is we actually do, and what we don’t do. The main thing that separates us from most alcohol rehab programs is the fact that we don’t have a “program.” What we do have is a lot of experience and research into what works for different people. The primary offering we have for our clients is the certainty that the solution to their specific problems and set of circumstances will be, like themselves, unique – it will truly be their empowering solution, not ours, or AA’s, or Moderation Management’s, or someone else’s canned prescription. We don’t dictate, we help you find Your Empowering Solution.
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By Patti Desert, LCSW

Click here to contact Patti and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

When the news broke about New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s alleged involvement with a prostitute the nation was inundated with newspaper reports expressing shock and confusion. Politicians, corporate executives, and various other pundits were outraged by Spitzer’s behavior? And healthcare providers began scratching their heads at the apparent level of ignorance about addictive behavior that these responses demonstrated.

In fact, Spitzer’s behavior is a classic reflection of a particular kind of addiction known as sex addiction.
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GoodTherapy.org is pleased to announce that registration is open for the second event in our Spring into Summer Teleconference Series. In this free event for GoodTherapy.org Members, we are very excited to welcome Hedy Schleifer, MA, LMHC.

Hedy is the Director of Schleifer and Associates in Miami Beach, Florida, and an internationally known relationship specialist, trainer, coach, workshop presenter, and motivational speaker. She received her M.A. in Clinical Psychology from Tel Aviv University, and launched her private practice in 1978. Trained in Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT), Hedy has pioneered the teaching of workshops for couples, and the training of therapists in IRT, overseas. Fluent in six languages, Hedy travels globally, bringing workshops for couples, and trainings for relationship specialists, and corporate organizations. Her passion for teaching people how to create harmonious relationships and results-oriented connections, make her workshops, trainings and motivational speeches, transformational.

Hedy’s 90-minute workshop for GoodTherapy.org members is called “Awakening the I-and-Thou Experience in Couples Therapy.” Hedy describes her presentation for us by saying, “Neuroscience and biology tell us that our brains are wired for relationship and that we experience each other physiologically, as well as psychologically. Yet, couples therapy tends still to be conducted in the purely verbal realm, focused on the words of each partner’s individual story, while neglecting the body’s vast potential for emotional and spiritual expression. During this workshop, we’ll explore the four pillars of Tikkun Relational Therapy to help couples reconnect by stepping outside their separate identities and entering an unsuspected realm of intimacy. Martin Buber, in his book I and Thou, called this realm the “sacred” space between them. This model integrates the latest findings from four sources including Imago Relationship Theory, Appreciative Inquiry, and interpersonal neurobiology. We’ll explain and discuss techniques and rituals that activate the natural capacities of our brains for deep, wordless emotional and spiritual connection.”

For more information and to register, visit the Spring into Summer Workshop Series.

The GoodTherapy.org Association has become one of the leading mental health organizations and referral sources on the web. In only 14 months of service, GoodTherapy.org has risen markedly to the top of the search engine rankings. In addition to ranking for thousands of local search terms (such as “Counselor Chicago” or “Therapy Seattle”), GoodTherapy.org also ranks nationally as one of the leading therapy & counseling directories on the web.

Below is a list of a handful of general top-5 search terms from yesterday which GoodTherapy.org is ranking for in Google (Please note, the following does not include all of the thousands of search terms we rank for and that these rankings ebb and flow by the hour, though generally rise over time):

SEARCH PHRASE GOOGLE RANKING
directory of counselors 1
find counselors 1
good therapy 1
what is good therapy 1
counseling directory 2
find counselor 3
therapy directory 3
directory of therapists 4
find a counselor 4
find counseling 4
find therapists 4
counselor 5
counselor directory 5
find a Therapist 5
therapist directory 5
therapy 5
find therapist 5
find therapy 5

Barbara Kennedy, MPH, MSW

Click here to contact Barbara and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Imagine yourself back in time a long time ago. You are a child sitting cross-legged near the central village fire. Firelight dances on the faces of those seated around you. Your eyes are wide with excitement! Your little heart pounds like thunder! Your tiny hands clutch bits of grass as the old and wise storyteller recounts stories of the heroic acts of courage and history. The storyteller’s ancient hands rise up toward the night sky as sparkling embers spiral upwards to join the stars. Through the careful weaving of these stories, the storyteller brings the past, present and future together. You listen. You learn. You remember. –Excerpt from The Wisdom Tree

Storytelling is as old as the first homosapien who picked up a stick and scribbled in the dirt. Native Americans chisel on the walls of caves; Nanas all over the world–with a gaggle of grandchildren at their feet–spin yarns passed down from prior generations; teenagers lock their diaries and hide them. So why have first-person narratives ranked on best seller lists and in book reviews with so much fervor? Well, it goes something like this, Once upon a time…

Narrative therapy proposes that people use certain stories about themselves like the lens on a camera. These stories are selected and framed memories and information that are repeated over and over. But stories don’t mirror life, they shape it. Stories organize the information from a person’s life. They guide how people think, feel, act, and make sense of their experiences, thus have the power to control people’s perspectives of their lives, their histories and their futures. (more…)

~Written by Karen M. Reed

Truth Teller and Truth Hater are strolling through my life tonight.
An unlikely couple, one majestic, calm, and full of light—the other
dark, stooped, and empty.

I wonder what they are doing together—it hardly seems fitting,
and yet it is as if they are familiar this way—together,
yet distant.

I know they want to speak to me, so I listen with curious apprehension.
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GoodTherapy.org is pleased to announce that registration is open for the first event in our Spring into Summer Teleconference Series. In our first workshop, which is Free for GoodTherapy.org Members, we are honored to have Stephen R. Lankton, MSW, DAHB, Executive Director of the Phoenix Institute of Eriksonian Therapy. Stephen will be presenting a 75-minute workshop called “Psychological Resources, Personal Experience, and Social Relations”

Stephen, in describing this presentation writes, “Milton Erickson taught that symptoms were a breakdown of relations between people. Looking at personal problems or family problems through this lens it is relatively easy to recognize the required experiential resources that individuals need to correct most both interpersonal and personal problems. Therapy can concentrate on helping clients acquire these experiences and help clients learn to use them systematically and appropriately. This workshop will teach three fundamental techniques that rely upon this observation and which are applicable to most therapy situations. Two primary protocols are that of ideomotor revification and the other is self-image thinking. There are methods of building needed and desired resources, generalizing the resources to specific interpersonal situations. The third protocol for resource retrieval I call ‘putting joy in your heart’ – it is literally an exercise to heighten an awareness of grounded positive centeredness. ”

For more information and to register, visit the Spring into Summer Workshop Series here:

http://www.goodtherapy.org/conference-series.html

By Arthur Becker Weidman, Ph.D

Click here to contact Art and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Parents must find a way to enjoy time with their child before they can end defiant behavior. Four year old Sarah throws temper tantrums, won’t go to bed, refuses to take a bath, and is described by her parents as “hell on wheels.” Peter, age seven, won’t take his dishes into the, kitchen or perform other simple household chores. Thirteen year old David stays up past his bed time, argues with, his parents about everything, and has begun skipping school. His parents just don’t know what to do. Do any of these children sound familiar? If so, you may know an oppositional and defiant child. Children who have spent years waiting for a family, whether in foster care in this country or in an orphanage abroad, sometimes learn negative behavior to survive. Acting out, they find, is a way to attract attention in an institution or foster home. They may then carry this behavior with them to a new home.
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Jennifer Bullock, M.Ed., M.L.S.P.,LPC, NCC

Click here to contact Jennifer and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

In our current over-scheduled, over-pressured world, families are confronting problems they have little capacity to do anything about. We can tend to cope by getting stuck in a narrow range of behaviors and responses even if they are not helpful. A child who has learned to have temper tantrums when she is angry, and her parents who have learned to punish or pamper her, are stuck in maladaptive, non-growthful environments—‘a bad play’. It’s like playing the same part in the same play on the same stage day after day.

A key component in this play is often our children’s behavioral, emotional and leaning difficulties that are so disruptive or dysfunctional - all we want to do is stop it. As parents, educators and fellow child / family therapists, we can understandably respond by focusing on getting rid of the most glaring and painful symptoms. Another way to handle these situations is to focus on development as the key to transforming our lives and our children’s lives—including maladaptive behaviors. (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Mary Ellen Barnes, Ph.D. & Ed Wilson, Ph.D., MAC

Click here to contact Mary Ellen and/or see her Profile
Click here to contact Ed and/or see his Profile

There are many types of alcohol consumption ranging from the healthy to the deadly. Some people of the prohibitionist persuasion will ague that any use is destructive, but neither medical research nor personal experience supports that conclusion. Unhappily, most “screening” protocols are heavily weighted towards a diagnosis of addiction justifying punitive treatment approaches and “abstinence only” outcomes. In reality, many different degrees of alcohol use exist, and the following thumbnail guide can be helpful in deciding what category is appropriate, and in predicating various – as well as usual - outcomes.

Healthy alcohol consumption has been found to be approximately two drinks of distilled spirits, two bottles of beer, or one half bottle of wine per day for an adult man, and half that for an adult women. These amounts confer the most health benefits without any associated detrimental effects. Obviously, not everyone consumes these set amounts, nor do most people who drink necessarily always stop at one or two. Certain social settings may find one consuming more over the duration of an event, for example, but the average should remain within the recommended parameters.

People who clearly fall into this category may, unfortunately, still find themselves in need of help. Particularly in child custody disputes, but in other legal matters as well, unfounded accusations are frequently hurled and difficult to refute. As John Donne noted, “Two things will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one is that he has taken to drink.” (more…)

GoodTherapy.org maintains a list of psychotherapy & counseling approaches for the purpose of informing consumers about different forms of therapy. We’re currently updating this list of therapy models and we’ve just finished our update to Feminist Therapy. Feminist therapy is distinct from traditional therapeutic approaches in its focus on the role of gender in psychological distress, behavior, and identity. You can view the update to our section on Feminist Therapy and/or view our entire list of psychotherapy & counseling models . Enjoy :)

by Noah Rubinstein, LMFT
Executive Director GoodTherapy.org

The GoodTherapy.org Team received a question today from Brit, a visitor to GT, in response to the featured article, “50 Warning Signs of Questionable Therapy & Counseling.”

Brit writes, “Should a good therapist in the beginning stages of the therapy request a historical summary of the client in order to provide good counseling? I have a friend in counseling and the therapist did not ask for historical family information. This friend comes from alcoholic family…..Should we be concerned?”

My guess is that there are many answers to this question. With so many different philosophical orientations, different approaches, and models of therapy, not to mention different generations of therapists all trained differently to some degree, the range of responses might be quite varied indeed. Some therapists spend hours gathering historical data and completing initial evaluations, others work in the here-and-now, preferring to dive in to the work on the first meeting, and others are somewhere in the middle. And of course a lot of what a therapist begins with depends on the presenting problems and the client’s needs. (more…)