Comments on: Book Review: How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It (2007)

By: Sarina

Sarina — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 05:00:42 +0000

Marriage counseling made a difference in my life. We moved to The Woodlands Texas last year from California and my marriage nearly fell apart. I will take a look at this book on marriage. Counselors don’t always get it do they?

By: Art Becker-Weidman

Art Becker-Weidman — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 17:37:15 +0000

Thanks for the book review. I’ve just ordered it. I appreciate the resource.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 14:04:15 +0000

Sounds like a different kind of book.

By: Wiesner

Wiesner — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 07:16:30 +0000

A woman was withdrawn and in bed. She was crying and was inconsolable. A male (non romantic) friend tried talking to no avail. He was by the way a wordsmith and a great therapist.
Finally he crawled in bed with her and held her. He said nothing. She
sobbed but he just held her. He helped.

I can’t speak for Pat Love but my take on it is that paralysis by
analysis is a danger and that the talking cure is overrated sometimes. I
don’t think one does not do any talking but that actions speak louder
than words and that when a connection is deep words are sometimes not
needed as much. One slight gesture can communicate so much to two people who are deeply connected.

My dog and I have a great relationship but our most important
connections are done without using any words, I’m for talking and
still a fan of the talking cure but think that when the connection is
improved that the talking goes easier and is more likely to be productive.

By: boyd

boyd — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:51:15 +0000

I am glad to know of this new resource. Thanks for bringing it to our attention!

By: Alexis

Alexis — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:50:47 +0000

While I haven’t read the book, I do think it sounds interesting. Some couples are very threatened by talking one on one, so it may be that this sort of therapy can at least be a first step. If a couple can master this sort of approach, they may get to a place where they can handle talking about what’s going on.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:47:02 +0000

First off, let me say that this title cracks me up! Wouldn’t it be great if we could really improve marriages this way? Isn’t “connection” a very personal thing? If couples don’t talk, how are they to know what makes his or her partner feel connected? If you operate out of the theory that men and women are trying to meet different needs, how is the partner supposed to know if he or she is meeting the other’s needs? It seems that by using this theory, a lot of assuming is going on. And, we all know what assuming does!