Comments on: Freeing the Parents of Adult Alcoholics and Addicts http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/ <<exploring healthy therapy & counseling>> Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:56:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: diane http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-13125 diane Mon, 17 Nov 2008 03:08:58 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-13125 This is the saddest website. Parents and loved ones seeking solace because of a lost loved-one. What is the answer.Who knows. My beloved daughter died recently. It was a natural death, I guess, that's what the cororner said anyway . She was not speaking to me, because she did not want to listen to me about the choices she was making. I can't really tell you how badly that hurts. I know tough love is the way to go but sometimes you have to pay with guilt. I just know she wasn't well, she loved me very much,and i don't know how I can bear life wihout my sweet girl. I have to remember the daughter she was before the addiction took her from me. Even then, I love her more than words or pain can say. She was onyl 39 years old. This is the saddest website. Parents and loved ones seeking solace because of a lost loved-one.
What is the answer.Who knows. My beloved daughter died recently. It was a natural death, I guess, that’s what the cororner said anyway . She was not speaking to me, because she did not want to listen to me about the choices she was making. I can’t really tell you how badly that hurts. I know tough love is the way to go but sometimes you have to pay with guilt. I just know she wasn’t well, she loved me very much,and i don’t know how I can bear life wihout my sweet girl. I have to remember the daughter she was before the addiction took her from me. Even then, I love her more than words or pain can say.
She was onyl 39 years old.

]]> By: Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-12979 Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:23:46 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-12979 Many parents I see have found Alanon to be very helpful and supportive. While it is primarily for the family members of alcoholics, I do think you too will find it very helpful. If you call your local United Way they can give the tele number for the local Alanon or AA office that you can then call to get schedule and location information. You may want to go to several different groups as each one tends to have its own "personality" and you may need to go to several until you find one that fits for you. regards Art Many parents I see have found Alanon to be very helpful and supportive. While it is primarily for the family members of alcoholics, I do think you too will find it very helpful. If you call your local United Way they can give the tele number for the local Alanon or AA office that you can then call to get schedule and location information. You may want to go to several different groups as each one tends to have its own “personality” and you may need to go to several until you find one that fits for you.

regards

Art

]]> By: Ed & Mary Ellen http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-12971 Ed & Mary Ellen Wed, 12 Nov 2008 19:00:50 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-12971 Frankly, there aren't any good support groups for families. Those that do exist tend to follow the AA/NA model (Alanon) but have the same problems as AA/NA - a misguided model and focus. The best we have come up with is to remember to detatch from a situation you didn't create, can't fix and can't control. Set clear limits with your son and set clear deadlines for eliminating support and keep them (i.e., don't set conditions you won't stick to). Frequently we play the role of intermediary so you may want to look for someone to fill that position. Also, look at the materials available at www.threeminutetherapy.com and see what applies to your situation. Feel free to call us as well. Frankly, there aren’t any good support groups for families. Those that do exist tend to follow the AA/NA model (Alanon) but have the same problems as AA/NA - a misguided model and focus. The best we have come up with is to remember to detatch from a situation you didn’t create, can’t fix and can’t control. Set clear limits with your son and set clear deadlines for eliminating support and keep them (i.e., don’t set conditions you won’t stick to). Frequently we play the role of intermediary so you may want to look for someone to fill that position. Also, look at the materials available at http://www.threeminutetherapy.com and see what applies to your situation. Feel free to call us as well.

]]> By: Cindy http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-12967 Cindy Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:11:25 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-12967 I have been searching for a "parent support" group per se, my 23 y/o son is a recent heroin addict. He is currently in a part-time evening program which I'm not convinced is doing what he needs. I read your blog and completely agree reagarding us as parents enabling him to continue. He is living at home, so we are in a way supporting him-he eats, sleeps, showers and does his own laundry here-we offer him no spending money, he tells me he begs for gas money. I feel that he is motivated for recovery but his girlfriend (she's 28) who is a long-time addict is still in the picture. He had never used before being involved with her, when he met her she was clean. I'm not blaming her, his using was his choice. I asked him if it meant that he had to give her up for a while to get better, would he-his answer was no, so I'm not convinced that this will work for him. I believe as long as he remains with her, he doesn't have a chance at recovery. I am angry that he has chosen this route. Where can parents go to get the support for this? There are all kinds of AA/NA support groups for addicts, but I can't find support for us and his siblings. I have been searching for a “parent support” group per se, my 23 y/o son is a recent heroin addict. He is currently in a part-time evening program which I’m not convinced is doing what he needs. I read your blog and completely agree reagarding us as parents enabling him to continue. He is living at home, so we are in a way supporting him-he eats, sleeps, showers and does his own laundry here-we offer him no spending money, he tells me he begs for gas money. I feel that he is motivated for recovery but his girlfriend (she’s 28) who is a long-time addict is still in the picture. He had never used before being involved with her, when he met her she was clean. I’m not blaming her, his using was his choice. I asked him if it meant that he had to give her up for a while to get better, would he-his answer was no, so I’m not convinced that this will work for him. I believe as long as he remains with her, he doesn’t have a chance at recovery. I am angry that he has chosen this route. Where can parents go to get the support for this? There are all kinds of AA/NA support groups for addicts, but I can’t find support for us and his siblings.

]]> By: denise http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-10639 denise Sun, 24 Aug 2008 05:53:54 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-10639 Thanks to everyone who comments on this site.I have a 39 year old daughter in jail who has always been a very difficult person to help.Very Low frustration level, maybe ADD and a strong personality were all aided and abbeted by my broken marriage ,my immature single parenting and an absent father. I kept trying to stave off disaster by providing money because I felt she was fragile or incapable of caring for herself. I admit to all of these failures but I always loved her and misguidedly intervened too many times to save her,give her a new start etc.I know now love is not enough. I did not have the experiences or knowledge to be a good guide. Today I fear for my own safety due to her level of rage.Yes she has made choices and yes I have not helped to guide her as she needed but what do you do when you are emotionally still a baby and you have a baby . At this point after thousands of dollars, a horrifying intervention attempt involving a specialist and her two best friends and too many heartbreaking conversations,I feel the need to save myself and other family members .Can I be forgiven. I do not know. Thanks to everyone who comments on this site.I have a 39 year old daughter in jail who has always been a very difficult person to help.Very Low frustration level, maybe ADD and a strong personality were all aided and abbeted by my broken marriage ,my immature single parenting and an absent father. I kept trying to stave off disaster by providing money because I felt she was fragile or incapable of caring for herself. I admit to all of these failures but I always loved her and misguidedly intervened too many times to save her,give her a new start etc.I know now love is not enough. I did not have the experiences or knowledge to be a good guide.

Today I fear for my own safety due to her level of rage.Yes she has made choices and yes I have not helped to guide her as she needed but what do you do when you are emotionally still a baby and you have a baby .
At this point after thousands of dollars, a horrifying intervention attempt involving a specialist and her two best friends and too many heartbreaking conversations,I feel the need to save myself and other family members .Can I be forgiven. I do not know.

]]> By: terri http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-9875 terri Tue, 15 Jul 2008 01:16:29 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-9875 Jill, I find your story heartbreaking, and can particularly understand your frustration in feeling helpless. My 26 year old is also addicted to narcotic pain killers, denying the problem and making frightening choices. I am also at wits end with the medical profession in that even physicians who know he has a problem continue to prescribe the drugs. When he is hospitalized, they will not communicate with us or sometimes even let us see him because of privacy laws. Thank you for sharing this-letting people know how the lack of support from the med. profession may have been contributed to your loss. Our son also was a gifted child, we knew all his friends and their families until high school when it became harder to do that. My heart goes out to you. I hope your have the support you need. Jill,
I find your story heartbreaking, and can particularly understand your frustration in feeling helpless. My 26 year old is also addicted to narcotic pain killers, denying the problem and making frightening choices. I am also at wits end with the medical profession in that even physicians who know he has a problem continue to prescribe the drugs. When he is hospitalized, they will not communicate with us or sometimes even let us see him because of privacy laws. Thank you for sharing this-letting people know how the lack of support from the med. profession may have been contributed to your loss. Our son also was a gifted child, we knew all his friends and their families until high school when it became harder to do that. My heart goes out to you. I hope your have the support you need.

]]> By: Ed Wilson http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-9397 Ed Wilson Thu, 05 Jun 2008 16:47:02 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-9397 Dear Jill, Yours is a heartbreaking situation. Losing a child is very hard, and seeing it coming and being unable to stop it is hardest of all. I too would recommend counseling with someone experienced in both grief and cognitive behavioral therapy. My sympathies lie with you, Ed Wilson Dear Jill,

Yours is a heartbreaking situation. Losing a child is very hard, and seeing it coming and being unable to stop it is hardest of all. I too would recommend counseling with someone experienced in both grief and cognitive behavioral therapy.

My sympathies lie with you,
Ed Wilson

]]> By: Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D. http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-9389 Arthur Becker-Weidman, Ph.D. Wed, 04 Jun 2008 22:39:02 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-9389 Dear Jill, What a very sad story. I am so sorry for you and your family. Your loss is profound. Where to go? I'd strongly urge you to find a person you can talk with about your loss, pain, anger, and saddness. Dear Jill,

What a very sad story. I am so sorry for you and your family. Your loss is profound. Where to go? I’d strongly urge you to find a person you can talk with about your loss, pain, anger, and saddness.

]]> By: Jill http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-9385 Jill Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:00:06 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-9385 Our late daughter became addicted to marijuana & prescribed medications. As a child & young adult her life was full of promise. She was involved with Scouting & many other not for profit groups. She was full of energy & idealism and worked hard to achieve graduate & post graduate degrees. We were always careful to make sure our daughter stayed connected to the family and were mindful of the issues surrounding "enabling". We were helpless, the medical professionals treating our daughter would not listen (quoting privacy laws) and we slowly watched our wondeful child who had so much to give, lose control of her life & ability to make sound judgements. She died aged 31 in 2006. Where do the broken hearted go to be listened to? Our late daughter became addicted to marijuana & prescribed medications.

As a child & young adult her life was full of promise.

She was involved with Scouting & many other not for profit groups. She was full of energy & idealism and worked hard to achieve graduate & post graduate degrees.

We were always careful to make sure our daughter stayed connected to the family and were mindful of the issues surrounding “enabling”.

We were helpless, the medical professionals treating our daughter would not listen (quoting privacy laws) and we slowly watched our wondeful child who had so much to give, lose control of her life & ability to make sound judgements.

She died aged 31 in 2006.

Where do the broken hearted go to be listened to?

]]> By: amyhop http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7963 amyhop Tue, 22 Apr 2008 22:58:23 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7963 My grrandparents have been the victim of a shameless alcoholic family member and child of theirs, and they continue to give and give and give yet get nothing in return. How do you teach this older generation about tough love and that money in this case will never buy sobriety? My grrandparents have been the victim of a shameless alcoholic family member and child of theirs, and they continue to give and give and give yet get nothing in return. How do you teach this older generation about tough love and that money in this case will never buy sobriety?

]]> By: Stacy1 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7489 Stacy1 Thu, 03 Apr 2008 00:23:11 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7489 I am so glad to see the comments that this does not necessarily "run in families" but that it may well be more along the lines of self fulfilling prophecies. But that then turns the table on the addicts and takes away their excuse for why they do what they do. I am so glad to see the comments that this does not necessarily “run in families” but that it may well be more along the lines of self fulfilling prophecies. But that then turns the table on the addicts and takes away their excuse for why they do what they do.

]]> By: Art Becker-Weidman http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7341 Art Becker-Weidman Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:15:31 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7341 Dr. Wilson's comments are very important. While there is increased risk of dependency when there is a family history of this (the genetic dimension) it is NOT a 1:1, 100% issue nor is it even like eye color. The increased risk is notable, but it is still less than 10%. In a similar vein, the general risk of schizophrenia is about 1%, but if you have schizophrenic parents, the risk goes up by a factor of ten (sounds bad), but that only means a 10% risk...and, of course, there are environmental factors to consider as well. This is a very helpful article and an excellent blog thread. Dr. Wilson’s comments are very important. While there is increased risk of dependency when there is a family history of this (the genetic dimension) it is NOT a 1:1, 100% issue nor is it even like eye color. The increased risk is notable, but it is still less than 10%. In a similar vein, the general risk of schizophrenia is about 1%, but if you have schizophrenic parents, the risk goes up by a factor of ten (sounds bad), but that only means a 10% risk…and, of course, there are environmental factors to consider as well.

This is a very helpful article and an excellent blog thread.

]]> By: Ed Wilson, Ph.D, MAC http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7153 Ed Wilson, Ph.D, MAC Tue, 04 Mar 2008 04:09:14 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7153 As Mary Ellen's private practice partner, and sometimes co-author, I will note that the issue of addiction "running in families" should always be handled very carefully. The increased risk actually seems to be about 6%,and most of that can be explained environmentally as well as genetically, but, the self-fulfilling prophacy (and excuse) risk is very high indeed. The number one factor in relapse is a belief in "powerlessness" and anything, including a belief in unfounded genetic links increases both the likelihood of abuse and resistence to remediation. Yes, a family history, just like a cultural history, increases risk, but this shouldn't be exacerbated using it as justification. If anything it should reduce the excuses by warning individuals about their possible vulnerability. And, of course, people should be equally educated with regard to the proven health benefits of moderate alcohol consumption. Everyone benefits when the demonization of alcohol ceases and realty replaces mythology. Would that more of that were happening these days. As Mary Ellen’s private practice partner, and sometimes co-author, I will note that the issue of addiction “running in families” should always be handled very carefully. The increased risk actually seems to be about 6%,and most of that can be explained environmentally as well as genetically, but, the self-fulfilling prophacy (and excuse) risk is very high indeed. The number one factor in relapse is a belief in “powerlessness” and anything, including a belief in unfounded genetic links increases both the likelihood of abuse and resistence to remediation.

Yes, a family history, just like a cultural history, increases risk, but this shouldn’t be exacerbated using it as justification. If anything it should reduce the excuses by warning individuals about their possible vulnerability.

And, of course, people should be equally educated with regard to the proven health benefits of moderate alcohol consumption. Everyone benefits when the demonization of alcohol ceases and realty replaces mythology. Would that more of that were happening these days.

]]> By: Carol R Cann, MA, LCPC, CADC http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7133 Carol R Cann, MA, LCPC, CADC Sat, 01 Mar 2008 04:32:19 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7133 As an alcohol & drug counselor and psychotherapist who often deals with family members of people with addicitons, I found Mary Ellen's article to contain a great deal of good sense and helpful suggestions. Realizing that we can't change anyone's behaviors but our own can be a giant leap forward for the codependent family member. I would pose a two-part response to Lyle's question about raising children who aren't likely to become addicts. There is a genetic component to addiction, so that if there are addicts in the family (parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles), it raises the probability that a person will develop an addiciton if they use drugs or alcohol. This part can't be helped, but it can be minimized by family members who educate their children to the propensity to addiciton in the family by such actions as telling them about relatives, not having alcohol use as a centerpiece of family gatherings, seeing family members who have successfully participated in recovery. The other significant factor in predisposing a person to an addiciton (which could be something other than drugs or alcohol) would be a sense of emptiness and the feeling that the significant people in their lives (particularly parents) cannot be counted on. This begins in infancy. No parent can meet their child's expectation 100% of the time! (To paraphrase Donald Winnicott, a pediatrician who became a psychoanalyst, one just has to be a "good enough" parent.) But the child must have the general sense that their cries (signifying wants & needs) will be heard and responded to in usually meaningful manner. This acknowledgement & sense that the world can be trusted expands to being supported and loved for what the child is, not what the parent thinks they should be; for example, allowing the child to explore playing a musical instrument (if that's what they express interest in) instead of insisting that they play sports. Becoming an addict may or may not be a choice. BUT whether or not a person does something about it once they realize they are an addict, IS a choice. As an alcohol & drug counselor and psychotherapist who often deals with family members of people with addicitons, I found Mary Ellen’s article to contain a great deal of good sense and helpful suggestions. Realizing that we can’t change anyone’s behaviors but our own can be a giant leap forward for the codependent family member.

I would pose a two-part response to Lyle’s question about raising children who aren’t likely to become addicts. There is a genetic component to addiction, so that if there are addicts in the family (parents, grandparents, aunts & uncles), it raises the probability that a person will develop an addiciton if they use drugs or alcohol. This part can’t be helped, but it can be minimized by family members who educate their children to the propensity to addiciton in the family by such actions as telling them about relatives, not having alcohol use as a centerpiece of family gatherings, seeing family members who have successfully participated in recovery. The other significant factor in predisposing a person to an addiciton (which could be something other than drugs or alcohol) would be a sense of emptiness and the feeling that the significant people in their lives (particularly parents) cannot be counted on. This begins in infancy. No parent can meet their child’s expectation 100% of the time! (To paraphrase Donald Winnicott, a pediatrician who became a psychoanalyst, one just has to be a “good enough” parent.) But the child must have the general sense that their cries (signifying wants & needs) will be heard and responded to in usually meaningful manner. This acknowledgement & sense that the world can be trusted expands to being supported and loved for what the child is, not what the parent thinks they should be; for example, allowing the child to explore playing a musical instrument (if that’s what they express interest in) instead of insisting that they play sports.

Becoming an addict may or may not be a choice. BUT whether or not a person does something about it once they realize they are an addict, IS a choice.

]]> By: Mary Ellen http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7035 Mary Ellen Wed, 20 Feb 2008 02:31:02 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7035 I appreciate the comments and will address these issues in up-coming posts and articles. For now, it's very important to have accurate information and to share it with children. The best source currently available is the SUNY site "Alcohol Problems and Solutions" which can be found at www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/ It's also important to teach responsibility for behaviors and consequences and to protect children from counter-productive programs like D.A.R.E. which have been repeatedly demonstrated to increase drug and alcohol use in adolescents. Thanks again for the thoughts, Mary Ellen I appreciate the comments and will address these issues in up-coming posts and articles. For now, it’s very important to have accurate information and to share it with children. The best source currently available is the SUNY site “Alcohol Problems and Solutions” which can be found at www2.potsdam.edu/hansondj/ It’s also important to teach responsibility for behaviors and consequences and to protect children from counter-productive programs like D.A.R.E. which have been repeatedly demonstrated to increase drug and alcohol use in adolescents.

Thanks again for the thoughts,
Mary Ellen

]]> By: amy http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7023 amy Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:15:20 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7023 I like the author's reference to the pay off addicts receive when someone gives them money. I have had more addicts tell me they didn't have to quit b/c they didn't have a reason to. They were having all of their needs met while still being able to drink and drug. Sometimes, well intentioned parents can be the enemy. I like the author’s reference to the pay off addicts receive when someone gives them money. I have had more addicts tell me they didn’t have to quit b/c they didn’t have a reason to. They were having all of their needs met while still being able to drink and drug. Sometimes, well intentioned parents can be the enemy.

]]> By: Art http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7021 Art Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:14:06 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7021 I am glad that the author has let parents off the hook when it comes to supporting an adult child who is an addict. So many parents know they should stop supporting their child, but guilt steps in and gets in the way. With blogs such as this one, hopefully parents can start to see that giving an adult child money is enabling the child and his or her addiction. Real help comes in the form of ceasing financial support. And, the author's suggestion to call social services is a sound one. If grandparents are willing to take the grandchildren and can provide a secure home environment, they are almost certain to receive guardianship. I am glad that the author has let parents off the hook when it comes to supporting an adult child who is an addict. So many parents know they should stop supporting their child, but guilt steps in and gets in the way. With blogs such as this one, hopefully parents can start to see that giving an adult child money is enabling the child and his or her addiction. Real help comes in the form of ceasing financial support. And, the author’s suggestion to call social services is a sound one. If grandparents are willing to take the grandchildren and can provide a secure home environment, they are almost certain to receive guardianship.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7019 Lisa Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:11:34 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7019 Yes, indeed, hind site is 20/20. But, I think just considering this threat when your children are so small is a huge first step. Research confirms for us that talking to your children from a small age about the dangers of addictive substances is key in this battle. Also, making sure they find activities they are good at that increase their self esteem is important. Also, be sure to make time for them that makes them feel special and worthwhile. The best way to combat a future addiction problem is to raise a child up so that he or she will know that there are things better than drugs and alcohol and that they are worth so much more. Yes, indeed, hind site is 20/20. But, I think just considering this threat when your children are so small is a huge first step. Research confirms for us that talking to your children from a small age about the dangers of addictive substances is key in this battle. Also, making sure they find activities they are good at that increase their self esteem is important. Also, be sure to make time for them that makes them feel special and worthwhile. The best way to combat a future addiction problem is to raise a child up so that he or she will know that there are things better than drugs and alcohol and that they are worth so much more.

]]> By: Lyle http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7017 Lyle Tue, 19 Feb 2008 16:09:04 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/02/18/freeing-the-parents-of-adult-alcoholics-and-addicts/#comment-7017 As the parent of two small children, this scenario of an adult child addicted to drugs or alcohol is one of my worst nightmares. I know that hind site is 20/20, so what can parents of adult children offer in terms of advice? How can you raise healthy kids that will have the internal strength and motivation to resist caving into the temptations of drugs and alcohol? As the parent of two small children, this scenario of an adult child addicted to drugs or alcohol is one of my worst nightmares. I know that hind site is 20/20, so what can parents of adult children offer in terms of advice? How can you raise healthy kids that will have the internal strength and motivation to resist caving into the temptations of drugs and alcohol?

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