http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/ <<exploring healthy therapy & counseling>> Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:20:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-9791 Dr. Arthur Becker-Weidman Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:34:23 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-9791 Well said, Sandy. Well said, Sandy.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-9761 Sandy Mon, 30 Jun 2008 22:12:01 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-9761 That was such a helpful comment. Many look to parenting as control and it should not be that way at all. It is all about give and take, and giving as much respect as you expect to receieve in kind. It is about teaching this to children and helping them groe up to be stronger individuals. That was such a helpful comment. Many look to parenting as control and it should not be that way at all. It is all about give and take, and giving as much respect as you expect to receieve in kind. It is about teaching this to children and helping them groe up to be stronger individuals.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-8345 Art Becker-Weidman Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:43:34 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-8345 Often the discussion is posed as if it were discipline versus no or lax discipline. I actually think a better focus is on how the expectations and limits are expressed and communicated. I believe that is the determining factor. For example, Time-In strategies often work much better than time-outs because the time-in strategies involve the parent in helping the child learn to self-regulate by doing this together, so that the child can internalize that function. Expecting a toddler to learn self-control all on his/her own isn't going to help them internalize that function. There are many ways to set boundaries for children and the most effective ways are based on the relationship not power/control. Often the discussion is posed as if it were discipline versus no or lax discipline. I actually think a better focus is on how the expectations and limits are expressed and communicated. I believe that is the determining factor. For example, Time-In strategies often work much better than time-outs because the time-in strategies involve the parent in helping the child learn to self-regulate by doing this together, so that the child can internalize that function. Expecting a toddler to learn self-control all on his/her own isn’t going to help them internalize that function. There are many ways to set boundaries for children and the most effective ways are based on the relationship not power/control.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-8311 Donna Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:55:07 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-8311 I agree with you Jeanette, but I also feel that an even stronger part of the article reinforces the fact that children need boundaries. Discipline is OK. I really want my brother to read this because he and his wife have so much trouble setting boundaries with their own child that I fear for what kind of trouble that is going to raise for them as she gets older. I agree with you Jeanette, but I also feel that an even stronger part of the article reinforces the fact that children need boundaries. Discipline is OK. I really want my brother to read this because he and his wife have so much trouble setting boundaries with their own child that I fear for what kind of trouble that is going to raise for them as she gets older.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-8309 Jeanette Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:53:31 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-8309 This article was so helpful for me. There of course are days when I wonder if I am being the very best parent that I can possibly be. This article sums up so much about how I have always felt I should treat my children and be the very best parent and role model for them. I think that the most important thing is to make sure that they always understand that you love them unconditinally and that you will be there for them no matter what mistakes they make. This article was so helpful for me. There of course are days when I wonder if I am being the very best parent that I can possibly be. This article sums up so much about how I have always felt I should treat my children and be the very best parent and role model for them. I think that the most important thing is to make sure that they always understand that you love them unconditinally and that you will be there for them no matter what mistakes they make.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-7879 John Petersen, Psy.D. Tue, 22 Apr 2008 01:32:00 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-7879 I concur about keeping expectations clear and also consistent. Too often my expectations vary depending on my mood or agenda for the day or week. I find weekly family meetings is a forum for my children to give me feedback on this. I concur about keeping expectations clear and also consistent. Too often my expectations vary depending on my mood or agenda for the day or week. I find weekly family meetings is a forum for my children to give me feedback on this.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-7273 Art Becker-Weidman Fri, 14 Mar 2008 10:36:25 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-7273 This blog is quite good. While reading it I was wondering about discipline approaches and wonder if you are familiar with Time In Parenting Strategies by Otto Weininger? It is an excellent resource and seems consistent with what is described here. This blog is quite good. While reading it I was wondering about discipline approaches and wonder if you are familiar with Time In Parenting Strategies by Otto Weininger? It is an excellent resource and seems consistent with what is described here.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-6819 Lucielle Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:49:42 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-6819 This was a very timely blog entry for me. I am considering home schooling my daughter for middle school due to all that was mentioned in item #1. But, maybe rather than protecting her from the inevitable pain of middle school, I need to focus my energy now and then on making sure she knows how much she is loved and what an awesome person she is. This was a very timely blog entry for me. I am considering home schooling my daughter for middle school due to all that was mentioned in item #1. But, maybe rather than protecting her from the inevitable pain of middle school, I need to focus my energy now and then on making sure she knows how much she is loved and what an awesome person she is.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-6817 Eitel Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:48:13 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-6817 When I was a younger parent and not so overwhelmed w/ so much stuff, I thought taking care of my children's emotional needs was time consuming, but very worthwhile. Now, I am so overwhelmed that I can't meet my own emotional needs, much less the needs of my children. This article reminded me of why I chose to stay home with my children in the first place. Before I commit to anything else, I need to make sure that it won't take up more of my emotional energy so that I can devote my energy to where it belongs-my children. When I was a younger parent and not so overwhelmed w/ so much stuff, I thought taking care of my children’s emotional needs was time consuming, but very worthwhile. Now, I am so overwhelmed that I can’t meet my own emotional needs, much less the needs of my children. This article reminded me of why I chose to stay home with my children in the first place. Before I commit to anything else, I need to make sure that it won’t take up more of my emotional energy so that I can devote my energy to where it belongs-my children.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-6815 gary Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:46:22 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-6815 Being a parent is very hard, indeed. I can remember thinking, as I'm sure most did, "when I grow up and have kids, I'm gonna..." So, now I do those things, and they miss the mark. Things I would have loved to have my parents do for or with me don't seem to have the same appeal to my kids as they would have for me. I guess that's the part the author refers to when she says that we have to take the time to figure out the language of love our kids speak. Being a parent is very hard, indeed. I can remember thinking, as I’m sure most did, “when I grow up and have kids, I’m gonna…” So, now I do those things, and they miss the mark. Things I would have loved to have my parents do for or with me don’t seem to have the same appeal to my kids as they would have for me. I guess that’s the part the author refers to when she says that we have to take the time to figure out the language of love our kids speak.

]]> http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-6813 Johnson Mon, 11 Feb 2008 16:44:32 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/2008/01/28/raising-an-emotionally-healthy-child/#comment-6813 This blog was very helpful and a great, straight forward to do list for parents. The one thing I'd like to know more about is how to find out how your child feels love. I don't think kids have the awareness or language to tell us a complete answer to this, so how do we go about finding it out for ourselves? This blog was very helpful and a great, straight forward to do list for parents. The one thing I’d like to know more about is how to find out how your child feels love. I don’t think kids have the awareness or language to tell us a complete answer to this, so how do we go about finding it out for ourselves?

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