Blogging on Good Therapy

by Elisha Goldstein, PhD

More and more it seems like life can be so hectic. It’s as if we purposely overload ourselves with more things than we could possibly ever accomplish. Sometimes as I’m going to sleep I think about all the things I need to get done and when I’m awake during the day I think about all the things that need to get done. Take a shower, make coffee, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, go to work, etc… It’s almost as if at the end of the day I can truly ask myself, “where did the day go?” Enough of these and I can ask myself the same questions in weeks, months, or even years!

So when I feel like these questions are coming up, I do some brief exercises that help bring me to the present moment and remind myself that I’m living. (more…)

by Andrew Walen, LGSW

Click here to contact Andrew and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

When you look at your body in the mirror, two things occur. First, you see the body’s physical structure; its size, shape, texture, curves, and nuances – great and small. Then comes the part that’s hard to control – the thoughts and comments that swirl about our brains concerning the body in that mirror. Oh man, can those cause trouble!

It’s usually at this point when most of us look at our bodies and berate ourselves for not having that flat stomach, or shapely thighs and buttocks, or taut breasts and biceps that many of us crave. But these thoughts are not just passing emotional blows to the psyche. For nearly 60 percent of women and over 40 percent of men in the United States, they are constant barrages of hatred and self-loathing. They are statements that bend and distort the reality of our perceptions about the body and its abilities, and thus the core beliefs we have about our worth as human beings. (more…)

GoodTherapy.org maintains a list of psychotherapy & counseling approaches for the purpose of informing people about different forms of therapy. We’re currently updating this list of therapy models and we’ve just finished our update to Adlerian Psychology & Psychotherapy. Alfred Adler (1870–1937), world renowned philosopher and psychiatrist, developed the first holistic theory of personality, psychopathology, and psychotherapy that was intimately connected to a humanistic philosophy of living. You can view the update to our section on Adlerian Psychology & Psychotherapy. and/or view our entire list of psychotherapy & counseling models . Enjoy :)

written by Shari McEnery, LMHC

Click here to contact Shari and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

We spend a great deal of time as new parents making sure that we are up to date on the latest medical wonders and vaccines. We make sure that our little ones are at every physical, ensuring that they are reaching their milestones every step of the way. If our child is sick, we don’t hesitate to call the doctor. There are medicines to help soothe the ache or pain, to help cure it or to even prevent it. Chances are your cabinet has at least two of the three in it right now. However, many parents don’t have any information at all about what to do with their child’s emotional health needs. (more…)

Dear Members and Visitors to GoodTherapy.org,

Today we were pleased to present the second teleconference in the GoodTherapy.org Winter Teleconference Series: An introduction to Somatic Experiencing presented by Steben Hoskinson, MA, MAT, a senior trainer with the Foundation for Human Enrichment. Much thanks to Steven who volunteered his time to present to GoodTherapy.org members this powerful approach to healing trauma.

To support those of you who attended today’s teleconference and who may have more questions or would enjoy having a forum to discuss Somatic Experiencing with others, we created this blog entry to serve as a forum where you can post your questions, leave comments, and engage in a dialogue about it. I hope all people will feel welcome, whether you attended the conference or not, to join us in the discussion. Steven has kindly agreed to visit the blog and answer questions about the SE model. So please feel free to post questions, concerns, feedback.

To view the comments or make your own, simply scroll to the bottom of this particular article and click on the “Comment” link.

For more information about Somatic Experiencing and their training programs, please visit the Foundation for Human Enrichment. For a quick overview of the SE model you can go to our list of psychotherapy & counseling models and click on the link for Somatic Experiencing.

Enjoy,

Noah :)

Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC
Co-Executive & Clinical Director
http://www.GoodTherapy.org

GoodTherapy.org maintains a list of psychotherapy & counseling approaches for the purpose of informing people about different forms of therapy. We’re currently updating this list of therapy models and we’ve just finished our update to Parent-Child Interaction Therapy. Parent-Child Interaction Therapy is an empirically supported treatment for conduct-disordered young children that places emphasis on improving the quality of the parent-child relationship and changing parent-child interaction patterns. You can view the update to our section on Parent-Child Interaction Therapy and/or view our entire list of psychotherapy & counseling models . Enjoy :)

written by Tara Guest Arnold, PhD, LCSW

Dialectical behavior therapy or DBT is an offspring of cognitive behavior therapy that incorporates Eastern meditative practices. The dialectic comes from the synthesis of opposites, particularly acceptance and change that is a tenet core to the DBT philosophy. We accept ourselves as good enough, and we recognize the need for all of us change and grow. These two concepts could seem contradictory, but through the persuasive dialogue, or dialectic, we can understand the seemingly opposing truths side by side.

DBT is taught as a series of skills in four modules: mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotional regulation, and distress tolerance. The first of these modules is core mindfulness, and as the name implies it is the foundation of DBT. Core mindfulness is based in Eastern Zen philosophy, and it includes Western contemplative practices. Mindfulness is an awareness of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and behavioral urges. By learning mindfulness, we are empowered to be in charge of ourselves in a different way. It has been proven that awareness assists in emotional regulation. As we understand ourselves, we accept ourselves and change ourselves. It is a practice of attention and intention. (more…)

written by Janice Feuerhelm, LPC

Click here to contact Janice and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Chronic pain affects millions of people worldwide. Chronic pain is different than acute pain. Chronic pain is pain that continues long after the original cause. Chronic pain also has a psychological component that affects every area of one’s life. The challenge of living with chronic pain can create depression, difficulty with family/friend relationships, loss of job, financial losses and a loss of self-worth.

During my counseling experiences with individuals living with chronic pain, I have discovered that there are key healthy attitudes that help someone learn how to cope and live with chronic pain. I teach persons’ with chronic pain how to adopt these attitudes and have had the pleasure of witnessing many reclaim their life again, in spite of chronic pain.

The following are three attitudes that CAN make a difference when living with chronic pain: (more…)

written by Chris Reynolds, MS, LPC

Click here to contact Chris and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Sex therapy is simply therapy that specifically addresses sexual problems. A sex therapist can be considered a specialist in the general field of therapy in the same way that a urologist is considered a specialist in the general field of medicine. Though the practice of sex therapy varies widely, most of these specialists have the following in common.

Sex therapy is typically a short term (6 to 15 weeks) solution focused intervention. Solution focused means that there are concrete goals with which to gauge progress, that there is a conscious utilization of client’s strengths, and that homework assignments are utilized to encourage active steps toward one’s goals.

While more general relationship issues are an integral part of sex therapy, they are not the primary issue. Sex therapists treat the sexual problem directly as opposed to assuming that if a couple resolves their other relationship issues, their sexual functioning will eventually improve. Since relationship issues are an integral part of sex therapy, and often one of the dynamics that perpetuates the sexual problem, couples who meet their goals in sex therapy invariably improve functioning in other areas of their relationship as well. When relationship issues are the primary problem (difficulty negotiating conflict, difficulty negotiating value systems, difference in attachment styles, etc.), then more traditional couples therapy is more appropriate. (more…)

Dear Members and Visitors to GoodTherapy.org,
Today we were pleased to present the first teleconference in the GoodTherapy.org Winter Teleconference Series: An introduction to the Internal Family Systems model (IFS) of Psychotherapy presented by Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D., the developer of the IFS model. Thanks to Richard who volunteered his time to present to GoodTherapy.org members this fascinating and beautiful approach to helping people heal.

To support those of you who attended today’s teleconference and who may have more questions or would enjoy having a forum to discuss the IFS model with others, we created this blog entry to serve as a forum where you can post your questions, leave comments, and engage in a dialogue about it. I hope all people will feel welcome, whether you attended the conference or not, to join us in the discussion. Having trained in the IFS model myself and being intimately familiar with it both inside and out, it will be pleasure to monitor the comments and answer as many questions as I can. I also welcome other IFS trained practitioners to join me in answering questions and taking part in the dialogue.

To view the comment or make your own, simply scroll to the bottom of this particular article and click on the “Comments” link.

For more information about the IFS model and their training programs, please visit the Center for Self-Leadership. For a quick overview of the IFS model you can go to our list of psychotherapy & counseling models and click on the link for Internal Family Systems Therapy.

Enjoy,

Noah :)

Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC
Co-Executive & Clinical Director
http://www.GoodTherapy.org

written by Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Jeanine and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

I saw a commercial today that made me laugh aloud. A man was beginning his day while a chorus of exuberant, if not completely over-the-top dancers, sang his day’s praises. The man walked outside, admired his beautiful home and smiled happily at his steaming coffee. Suddenly, a giant tree branch fell on his car and completely crushed it.

Many of us have had the feeling of the magical in life and then something happens and we completely lose our mojo. Just like that, the ordinary, mundane and unpleasant has returned to be the focal point of our experience.

On the other hand, most of us can also relate to the feeling of the magical; suddenly our ordinary life takes on extra-ordinary qualities. Unfortunately, these experiences are often fleeting. (more…)

written by Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LAC, LISAC

Click here to contact Debra and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Not too long ago, a client who I was treating for prescription drug abuse, looked at me and said, “It’s my desperate need to silence my feelings that drives me to want to use.” She went on to describe what it felt like to live in her skin. “It’s as if the people in my life are at the controls of this rollercoaster called my life and I’m trapped and I can’t get off. I like or hate the ride based on how I feel about them at that moment; in my mind you’re either with me or against me. But I can’t fire them from the controls!”

Unbeknownst to this woman she was verbalizing what was part of her underlying issue—Complex Post Traumatic Stress (CPTS). For the uninitiated CPTS, is classified as long-term traumatic stress that may impact a healthy person’s self-concept and adaptation. The exhibited symptoms range from struggles with mood (depression, manic-depression, anxiety); fear of real or imagined rejection or abandonment, and a spectrum of addictive, self-defeating behaviors including; bulimia, anorexia, compulsive spending, sexual compulsivity, and, perhaps self-injury. (more…)

GoodTherapy.org maintains a list of psychotherapy & counseling approaches for the purpose of informing people about different forms of therapy. We’re currently updating this list of therapy models and we’ve just finished our update to the Gottman Method for couples counseling and marriage therapy. Gottman Method applies leading-edge research on marriage in a practical, down-to-earth therapy. No other approach to couples education and therapy has relied on such intensive, detailed, and long-term scientific study of why marriages succeed or fail. You can view the update to our section on the Gottman Method and/or view our entire list of psychotherapy & counseling models . Enjoy :)

~Written by Jane Carpenter

In another culture they would perhaps be called visions.

In our culture, we call this “Self-Led Healing.”

I call it taking the hand of my Higher Power, going to a place within myself that I call my Story-Telling Place, and working with my Higher Power to create the story-adventures that cleanse and heal the pockets of pain in that deep inner country inside myself.

Before we begin I must tell you several things about myself. When I was four or five years old I was sexually abused by a man who told me that he would kill me in my sleep if I ever told anyone what had happened. He also threatened to kill my family if I ever told. I believed him; I never told.

I have been blessed with many experiences of healing and recovery in my life. I am also very blessed to have a living, vibrant relationship with a wonderful Higher Power (the one the grownups call God). He both anchors me and gives me wings. Whenever I go to my Story-Telling Place, I always smile because He is there waiting for me and loving me.

And now, the story. . .

Once upon a time, there was a grownup woman, with a sealed-off cave inside her. We will call her Laura. Laura did not know about the sealed-off cave. Laura did know several things. She knew that she had a wonderful Higher Power, a Shining One, who had told her in many different ways that it was time for her to heal and grow, and that he would walk with her through the healing. Laura also knew a trusted Wise Woman, a therapist who sat beside Laura and gave her companionship during the healing times. And Laura knew a few strange facts about herself:

• That she had an extremely difficult time standing up for herself with those she loved

• That she was so afraid of what she was about to uncover that a large part of her wanted to quit the healing process before getting there.

• That what she was about to uncover was very, very important

When they went to the Story-Telling Place Laura felt a strange reluctance. Four times Laura held her Shining One’s hand and asked if He really wanted her to go through this door. Four times he said yes. But Laura was stopped, over and over again, when she tried to walk towards the sealed-off cave and the woman she knew was trapped inside the cave.The first time she was stopped by a black swamp. Her Higher Power built a bridge of gold across the swamp. After she crossed the swamp, she was stopped by a storm. Lightning tore apart the sky; thunder fell like breakers around her, tornadoes of black wind grabbed at her and shook her equilibrium. But Laura stood her ground until she noticed a most interesting sight: A little man, about two inches tall, was moving levers and wheels to create the terrible storm. The storm died away, allowing her to see, in front of her, a black stone box, four feet high, four feet deep, and ten feet long.

“You must not go in!” the man said. “You will die!”

Laura took a deep breath and asked her Higher Power again, “Are you sure you want me to do this?”

“Yes,” he said again, kindly but firmly.

So she held her Higher Power’s hand and said firmly to the little man. “I will listen to you. But you must not overwhelm me.”

The man said, “You will die!”

“Tell the truth,” Laura’s Higher Power said.

The man sighed. He looked tired. “I am afraid,” he said simply. “I know you want to go inside the box. I have guarded this box for so long. Guarding the box is all I know how to do. I am afraid that after you open the box I won’t have any role any more, and you will abandon me.”

Laura looked tenderly at the man. “Here in my kingdom,” she said clearly, “all parts of me have a home. All parts of me are loved and respected and no one ever has to leave. Here, there are fun things to do, a wonderful school to go to, many other parts to be friends with, and new adventures to create. I have never abandoned any of my parts and I never will. You are safe here. You will be cherished here.”

The man sighed again, but before he could speak, a black cloud sprang up, covering the black box.
The cloud said, “This is not right. You should not go there.”

Laura’s Higher Power said, simply, “Tell the truth.”

The cloud sighed. Wearily, it said, “You are right. I am afraid. There is rage inside, so much rage that I am afraid of it. I am afraid that if I let the rage out it will overwhelm me and I will do violence to someone. I am afraid of what I will do if we open the box.”

Laura and her Higher Power talked for a long time to the cloud. They listened to it, and loved it. Then, Laura saw her Shining One lift his hand. She gave a cry of joy as the black cloud immediately became a golden bird. The golden bird was given a golden whistle on a chain to drape around her neck. With the whistle, the golden bird could call for help whenever she felt afraid of the rage.
The golden bird felt better but still did not feel safe. She asked for something more to help her feel protected from her rage. She received an escort of three angels, who could fly faster than the golden bird and were stronger than the golden bird could ever be. She knew that if the rage ever overpowered her, the three angels would fly beside her and in front of her and act as buffers to keep her from harming anyone. “Now that I feel safe you can investigate the box,” she told Laura. And the golden bird and the angels perched up on a high rock, so they could look down and cheer Laura on.

Laura and her Higher Power went back to talk with the little man. Laura asked him what job he would like to do once he stopped guarding the box.

After some thought, the little man finally cried, in triumph, “Curiosity! There are so many things I want to learn, and to do. I could be Laura’s curiosity. I could keep asking questions and learning new things and finding new topics to explore. I would LOVE to do that.”

“That’s a very good role,” the Wise Woman commented, with a smile.

And so, reassured, the little man stepped aside.

Laura gave the little man the role of being Curiosity to help all the parts in her kingdom, and thanked the little man for all he had done for her, and thanked the bird for giving her best and doing everything she did out of love for Laura.

Then Laura stood in front of the black box, and sighed. “Are you sure you want me to do this?” she asked her Higher Power.

“Tell yourself the truth,” he told her, lovingly, but with authority. “You are stalling.. You know what you have to do.”

So Laura asked the bird and the little man to help her.

Together they lifted the black stone cover off the huge black stone box.

Inside, Laura saw the most horrible sight! It was a dead woman! Slimy—death—stench—it was Laura’s face. But it wasn’t Laura’s face—it was death itself.

“How awful!!” Laura exclaimed. “It’s death in this casket!”

Terrified, Laura watched as the dead woman in the casket sat up and pulled the rags off her face. Then both the woman and the casket turned into smoke and completely disappeared.

Suddenly, Laura was free, free to walk through the space where the box had been holding her back. Astonished, she walked on in complete freedom.

“I’m fine!” she said with wonder. “Nothing happened, after all.”

Together, Laura and her Higher Power walked up a path. They came to the edge of the sea and viewed, a short distance over the water, an island on which was a dark cave. Inside the cave was a woman. She looked like a skeleton, with patches of black all over her skin and the saddest eyes that Laura had ever seen.

Surprised at her knowledge, Laura said softly, “Her name is Emma, and she’s been shut up in this cave for 45 years.” Laura and her Higher Power stood and looked at the woman.

“Does Emma have something to say?” the Wise Woman asked.

“She cannot talk,” Laura said. “She doesn’t know how to talk.”

And as swift as kindness and as completely as love, Laura’s Higher Power reached out one hand to transform Emma and her surroundings. “Not one second longer in this prison!” the Higher Power said. He waved his hand and instantly a large glistening flying white horse flew down from the sky and landed on the island at the entrance of the cave. The horse kneeled to permit Emma to climb atop his back. As she hugged her thin body around the horse’s neck the horse took to the sky, leaving the island and the horrible cave behind.

With another wave of his hand, Laura’s Higher Power submerged the cave and the island under clean blue water. The white horse flew down and landed Emma beside Laura and her Higher Power. Liberated from her prison, Emma herself was healed! She had shining brown skin. The black patches were gone from her face. Then the Higher Power touched Emma, gently, on the lips.
“She can talk now,” Laura reported to the Wise Woman. “She’s learning how to talk again, after all these years.”

“What does she have to tell us?” the Wise Woman asked.

And now that Emma could speak, fury, rage, and hostility all poured out. She was angry at Laura for abandoning her, angry at the man who sexually abused young Laura, angry at the people who walked all over Laura, and angry at Laura for not standing up for herself all these years. And Emma was afraid.

Laura told the wise woman, “Emma’s still afraid of being forgotten. She’s afraid that I’ll forget about her again. She’s afraid of being sealed away again, hidden behind the fear of death, as she was. That was such a complete prison—no one dared come near!”

“Tell her that that will never happen. Tell her that you’ll never forget her again,” the Wise Woman said.

“I know,” Laura said.

And now that she could see Emma, and talk to her, the right words came very easily.
“I don’t blame you for being mad!” Laura told Emma. “I’d be mad also! And I am so very, very sorry that I did this. I understand how angry you are! Your anger is perfectly justified!”
“ I gave away my power,” Laura said to herself and to Emma, “I gave away the right to defend myself . . . because that man said that he would kill me if I said anything. So I hid away the very possibility of saying anything! I hid it behind the fear of death. I thought I would die if I looked at this part of myself again—that’s what the casket was!”

Laura talked with Emma for a long time. Then she and her Higher Power thanked Emma. The Higher Power gave Emma many presents.

They turned Emma’s anger, which was very real, and very important, into a pillar of fire many hundreds of feet high.

“It can burn beside the story-telling platform,” Laura said. “It will be like a streetlamp. And when we need its power to protect me, it will be here.”

Emma asked to be a messenger between the anger and Laura, so the Higher Power gave her a set of wings. But they were paper wings.

“You must separate yourself from the anger,” he warned, “or the wings will catch fire.”

And he told Emma that she had to have a hobby.

“The cave is gone,” he warned her. “But if you do not separate yourself from the anger, it will feel as if you are back in the cave again.”

So Emma chose, as her hobby, digging precious gems and making jewelry. Again the Higher Power gave her a warning. “The jewels will melt if you do not distance yourself from the anger,” he said, gently but firmly. “You must learn to live as a free woman. You must learn to have other thoughts besides anger in your mind. It will take time, but you will learn to live free.”

It has been almost a week now since this story happened, and Laura is thrilled to understand, for the first time in her life, why something inside her had felt like death whenever she argued with a loved one and why she had always been unable to stand up for herself with those she loved most. Those old shackles have drifted to nothingness as completely as that black casket of death drifted into smoke.

She is so happy to be free.

In her mind, as she writes these words, Laura goes to the story-telling place and puts her arm around Emma. Together they stand and look at the pillar of flame.

“Thanks, Emma,” she says, simply. They smile at each other.

And Laura knows, without turning around, that her Higher Power is beside her. She feels his presence as warmly as a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you so much.”

THE END

©Copyright 2008 Jane Carpenter. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. If you’d like to comment on Jane’s story, she has given us permission to accept comments here. All comments are moderated.

Written by Lisa Brookes Kift, M.A

Click here to contact Lisa and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Adult anxiety has many faces, manifestations and levels. The type of anxiety I’ve had the most contact with in my experience as a therapist is Generalized Anxiety and from here on when I speak of “anxiety” I will be referring to this. I work from a family of origin perspective, in that, I believe that people’s emotional and/or psychological distress as adults can partially be the result of problematic core beliefs developed in early childhood. A primary hallmark of anxiety is pervasive worry. “Fear of the fear” is how people have described the feeling. If I look back far enough in a person’s history I’ve typically found a childhood experience laced with chaos, high expectations and/or a highly anxious parent.

When children are born into this world, they are physical beings with no developed sense of self. Young infants begin to develop their core self as they interact with their primary caretakers. Ideally, their nest is a safe, loving and attentive one. It’s in this nest they can begin to believe that they will get their needs met and they have value – what they do impacts the world. This is the beginning of a very healthy self concept – or relationship to self. If all things are right, the growing infant will also develop the idea that others can be trusted. Barring any seriously negative life experience along the way, the baby becomes a toddler who becomes a child who becomes an adult with good feelings about his place in the world. “I am lovable,” might be a core belief born out of this situation. Other possible healthy core beliefs are, “people can be trusted,” or, “the world is a safe place.” (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., C.H.T.

Click here to contact Cedar and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Ethics as Soul Work

I slept and dreamt that life was joy;
I awoke and saw that life was service;
I acted and behold, service was joy.
–Rabindranath Tagore

I appreciate your interest in using your personal and professional power with wisdom and compassion. I think of ethics as right use of power. In fact, right use of power and influence is the biggest container for ethics since it includes social consciousness and personal development. In this greatest context, it is about reverence for life, treating all people with respect, and acting honorably. It requires a high level of consciousness development and understanding of both harm and empowerment.

This context for ethics includes and honors the value of prescribed codes and guidelines and goes beyond into the realm of repairing harm, restoring relationships, and promoting well-being. Ethical behavior in this framework requires a high level of consciousness development and understanding of both harm and empowerment.

This is the first of a series of articles devoted to exploring issues of power in our personal and professional lives. Expect a new column every 4-6 weeks.

In working with ethical sensitivity from a soul deep point of view, I think there are a number of things that are asked of us as healers and as human beings. (more…)

Written by Mitchell Milch, LCSW

Click here to contact Mitchell and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

On the evening of the 6th anniversary of 9/11 I watched the heart wrenching television images of children of those whose lives were tragically taken on that ill fated morning in 2001. These images stirred me to write about the topic of survivor guilt that is never too far from my heart as a psychotherapist and an American Jew.

One doesn’t have to lose a loved one to a tragic and unnecessary death to suffer survivor guilt. This symptom for lack of a better description is a recipe for chronic unhappiness. It is in simplest terms feeling guilty about being happy with one’s lot in life. It is not necessarily induced by the experience of a tragic loss of a parent or parental surrogate. It is nonetheless, the legacy of what I do consider to be tragedies if the victims do not get help in adulthood to treat their problems. They are tragedies because generations of family members may go through their lives with countless blessings from which to derive meaning, joy and happiness from and yet, not feel entitled to enjoy any of them. They do no better than survive.
Misery is as much who they are as their right arms and they feel that they have no choice but to suffer if they are to have even a temporary respite from feeling guilty and experience some happiness.

This article will explore the types of experiences that shape survivor guilt and what those of us who suffer from it must do to move toward overcoming it. (more…)

Written by Anne Cuthbert, M.A. LPC

Click here to contact Anne and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

I love peanut butter. As a kid, I used to eat it out of the jar, spoon first. Although I grew out of the spoon phase, I still love it with bread and honey, with chocolate and in nearly any candy bar. What I never did know about my love for peanut butter, is that it made me sick. I was so out of touch with my body and the effect of food on my body that I never realized that the sick feeling in my stomach was the result of the food I just ate. It took time of working on my food and body issues to put it together and even longer to realize that my tummy rejects peanut butter only when I have eaten more than my body can handle. This is good to know because now, when I get that sick feeling, I just stop eating peanut butter for a while and then I can eat it again. Of course, I always have the choice to eat it, and sometimes I do choose it, even when I know I may not like how I feel later. But, I have a choice and the choice is mine.

Although the above does not fully demonstrate why diets don’t work, it does show the result of dieting and/or listening to what others tell us to eat. (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Greg Madison, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Greg and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile.

In this article I would like to suggest that the time has come for psychotherapy to begin to contemplate the future. Not from the standpoint of current theory and contemporary debates regarding research and practice, arguments that are thickly stewed in mental health politics and the profit considerations of private health companies. Rather, I believe that psychotherapists may need to consider their professional role from a future point of view in order to contemplate what function, if any, we should have in the biotechnological revolution forecast to commence within the next few decades. If the futurists are correct, then ten years from now the most intractable issues that mental health professionals grapple with today will in retrospect be totally superfluous.

The world is bracing for an exponential advance in technologies that are predicted to fundamentally alter the very nature of human beings. If the profession of psychotherapy is to remain relevant, I think we must begin to prepare for this revolution. It is possible that in the not too distant future our clients will be presenting issues of deep unease and unbelievable excitement about the inscrutable new choices they will face in this post-human future. As therapists we have a responsibility, I believe, to hear these concerns within the context of their far-reaching psychological, ethical, and spiritual ramifications. (more…)

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Dennis Thoennes, Ph.D., ABPP

Click here to contact Dennis and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

On the way home from a visit with my mother I felt myself roiling like molten lava. She began talking about money she had recently lent me to help with the expense of a remodeling project. As she talked decades of anger began to ignite and I told her I needed to end this conversation or leave if she could not give it a rest.

Fortunately it takes me a few hours to drive home from where she lives. I was able to contact a friend on the drive and debrief the experience I had with her and how it had summoned decades of anger. Years ago, when our kids were young and before I had done any of my own therapy, had something like this happened I would have walked into the house and this residue from the past would have spilled over the family and evening like hot tar on a fine linen tablecloth.

Such awareness has led me to tell clients of my belief that the second most difficult challenge we humans have is a healthy, intimate, committed relationship with another person. For it is in this context we are touched, poked, caressed and connected in ways that bring all of our history to some level of consciousness. My wife or one of the kids could have said anything and this lava would have spilled out on them. Many people do not have the skills to deal with this in healthy, constructive ways. So feelings such as my anger invade the relationship, tar the tablecloth. Alternatively a person may develop a shell so they do not get affected by others, we may suppress our hurt and anger. Some people seem to go through life and find a way to be content with simply dealing with the world around them and rarely, if ever, examine their interior, intrapersonal life. (more…)