Blogging on Good Therapy

Written by Tanya Vallianos, MA, LPC, ATR

Click here to contact Tanya and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

What is Art Therapy?

Art therapy is a modality in the psychology field that’s focus is on the transformative power of nonverbal language. Because art therapy brings together the fields of art and psychology, it integrates visual arts, human development, behavior, mental health, creative process, imagination and personality. It is based on the belief that the act of art making can help us understand more of who we are, enhance lives, and lead us towards personal growth through self-expression.

Although art therapy as a modern profession is quite new, creative expression through visual art is one of the oldest forms of healing in history. This is the way that mankind began expressing itself as a means of communication on cave walls, through hieroglyphics and within sand paintings. Art has always been a way to express the deepest of sorrow as well as the most joyous of moments. The expression of these many varied emotions has brought catharsis and self-awareness to many an accomplished artist and non-artist.

How Can Art Be Healing?

Art therapy enables people to express themselves in areas that are impossible to express in words. Since art expression does not occur, as a linear process as is found in spoken language, there is the ability to allow ambiguous, confusing and contradictory elements to show up in the art. This ability of art to contain paradoxical elements helps people more easily integrate and synthesize conflicting feelings and experiences… (more…)

Written by by Debra L. Kaplan, MA, LAC, LISAC

Click here to contact Debra and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

From birth onward we begin the enduring act of maturing and experientially processing interaction. At birth our emotions are open and vulnerable but most importantly we are present and living in the moment. A baby instinctively cries without delay when sensing hunger, dampness from a dirty bottom, or generalized pain and discomfort.

As we mature our emotions are woven into our personal filters that evolve from our internal and external exchanges that take place in our lives. This offers much in the way of an explanation as to how our filters develop and how our internal emotions are harnessed in an effort to welcome life or yoked to keep them at arms length. Early on, if we learn trust and consistency our fragile, developing egos are comforted and eased by knowing that our needs will be met. The silent message delivered is safety and trust. In the absence of such nurturance we may learn to distrust or expect disappointment. Hence our core emotion of fear becomes ever present and accounted for by expected let-downs or anticipated wrongs to be brought against us…. (more…)

Dear GoodTherapy.org Members,

GoodTherapy.org is once again in the process of updating our list of psychotherapy models. We want to share with you the update and ask for your help.

Below you’ll find 4 lists of therapy approaches: Those which have been added to our list; those already listed, those we need more information about before making a decision, and those which we have not included. Please note: you will not find the complete list of models listed in this post. For the complete list of therapy approaches click here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/1657.html and see the “Type of therapy you want” drop down list. We would be grateful for any information or opinions you have about the approaches below which we need more info about. Whether your can provide a quick yea or a nay, a link to a website with more info, or even a dissertation on why we should add or exclude an approach :), we’d love to hear it. Our team will research these approaches on our own, but we know there are many talented and knowledgeable therapists listed in Goodtherapy.org who can give us a running start. Please feel free to reply to this post (scroll down to the end of post to do so) and add any info you may have about any of the models. Thanks for your help! Here’s the list: (more…)

Dear GoodTherapy.org Members,

GoodTherapy.org has just finished updating our list of concerns. We want to thank everyone for many excellent suggestions. Over a dozen concerns have been added. Below you will find the Updated list of Concerns as well as a list of every suggestion we received along with our team’s response.

Updated List of Concerns Addressed:

Abuse Survivor Issues
Abandonment and/or Fear of
Abortion / Post Abortion Issues
Academic Concerns
Addictions (Drug & Alcohol)
Addictions (Other)
Adjusting to Change / Life Transitions
Adoption / Reunion Issues
Aggression
Agoraphobia
Anger
Anxiety
Attachment Issues
Batterer Intervention
Bereavement
Bipolar
Blended Family Issues
Career Choice
Caregiver Issues/Stress
Child and/or Adolescent Issues
Chronic Pain
Codependency / Dependency
Communication Problems
Compulsions
Control Issues
Creative Blocks
Depression
Developmental Disorders (Autism, Aspergers, etc.)
Dissociation
Divorce / Divorce Adjustment
Domestic Violence
Eating & Food Issues
Emptiness
Emotional Abuse
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Overwhelm
End-of-life Adjustment
Family Problems
Family of Origin Issues
Fertility Issues
Forgiveness
Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual, & Transgender Issues
Geriatric Issues
Grief & Loss
Habits
Hyperactivity
Identity Issues
Impulsivity
Inadequacy
Inattention
Infidelity / Affair Recovery
Irritability
Isolation (Emotional & Social)
Learning Difficulties
Life Purpose/Meaning/Inner-Guidance
Men’s Issues
Midlife Transition
Mood Disturbance
Mood Swings
Multicultural Concerns
Obsessions
Oppositional & Defiant Behavior
Panic
Parenting
Phobias / Fears
Physical Abuse
Physical or Terminal Illness
Post Partum Depression
Post Traumatic Stress
Prejudice / Discrimination
Relationships & Marriage
Reproduction, Pregnancy, & Birthing
Religion
Self-Care
Self-Confidence
Self-Criticism
Self-Doubt
Self-Esteem
Self-Harm (Cutting, etc.)
Self-Love
Sensitivity to Criticism
Sex / Sexuality Issues
Sexual Abuse
Shame
Social Phobia/Anxiety
Spirituality
Stress
Suicidal (Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors)
Suspiciousness
Trauma
Trust Issues
Values Clarification
Violence
Women’s Issues
Workplace Issues
Worry
Worthlessness
Other - not listed here

List of most recent suggestions made to the GoodTherapy.org List of Concerns Addressed: (more…)

Written by Rod Louden, M.A., MFT

With every emotional and/or physical painful experience in life, you have the opportunity to write and store knowledge about pain. You add new volumes every year. Moments of unhappiness, confusion, failure, depression, and the act of making the same mistakes over and over, all present the opportunity for you to write and store productive knowledge about pain. The problem is that most people, who continuously struggle in relationships and life, create volumes of false and misleading information about emotional pain.

Documenting knowledge about pain began from the moment you were forced out into this world from your mother’s womb and felt that sharp slap across your bottom. With this slap, you were introduced to a harsh reality of our world: it is full of painful experiences.

If you’re like most people, the word pain is viewed in negative light. It has several friends that hang around with it: hurt, ache, suffering, and agony to name a few. The origin for pains “reputation” comes from our early learning experiences with physical pain… (more…)

Written by Irene Oudyk-Suk, MSW, RSW

Click here to contact Irene and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Jason hasn’t said much for the last few days. Sally, his wife, has talked quite a bit. Sally processes life by commenting on it verbally as it passes her by. Jason does his reflecting internally. He shares when asked, although sometimes Sally has to drag it out of him. Such is the normal ebb and flow of Jason and Sally’s marriage. It works quite well. Mostly.

This pattern gets Sally and Jason into trouble when they deal with conflict. Sally expresses a concern and Jason makes a gesture or verbal remark that says, “Do we have to talk about this?” Sally feels misunderstood and tries harder to get her point across. Jason, dismayed that the hoped for return-to-harmony has gone up in smoke, tries to ease the mounting tension with a face that looks to Sally like a stone wall. Sally feels ignored and slighted and so she takes up the chase again. Now Jason feels under attack. He’s thinking, “Can’t we just be warm and comfortable with each other?” Sally is stewing. “He doesn’t care what I say!” Sally says something critical. Jason withdraws further. It’s a pursue-distance dynamic that soon has Jason accusing Sally “nagging” and Sally pleading with Jason to “just listen to me.”

Thankfully Sally and Jason are able to speak together about how they alienate each other at times. Sally expresses an irrational fear that “chasing” Jason could drive him out of their marriage. Jason reassures Sally. Jason shares with Sally, not for the first time, how he learned to shut down long ago in order to deflect his father’s never-ending criticism. Recognizing the pursue-distance dynamic of their relationship helps Sally and Jason reconnect before the withdrawal and nagging spiral out of control… (more…)

Written by Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Jeanette and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

A few months ago Gillian felt lifeless, dead inside and uninterested in anything. Everything was an effort. She just wanted to sleep. She suffered bouts of constipation She didn’t want to meet anyone, prepare food for herself or take care of her dog. She couldn‘t go to work. Her words came out slow and with long pauses in between. The words were flat, without expression -just like she felt. She couldn’t even cry. Nothing touched her and she moved like a robot from her bed to the shower to a chair and back to bed again. She didn’t care about anything or anyone. This was not the Gillian she knew or wanted to be. She had always been driven to work hard, please those around her and then earn her rest. She had been very sociable and knew how to have a good time.

Now Gillian is very angry and tearful. She cries easily when memories of past hurtful relationships invade her as if from nowhere. She complains of being exhausted and resents having to go to work. She is impatient with herself and others when problems don’t get sorted out quickly. Anything in her immediate environment that has a glitch feels like another burden on her shoulders. Nothing feels right and that makes her furious. She has enough of her own stuff to deal with. When the world outside also has ‘problems’ it makes Gillian want to give up bothering to face the day at all… (more…)

Written by Dennis P. Buttimer, M.Ed., CEAP

Click here to contact Dennis and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

“Selfish. Lazy. Mean. Incompetent. Not good enough.” Do any of these words cause you to cringe? What other words cause you to recoil? Through shadow work, we learn to release the power these descriptors may have over us. We often resist internal exploration for fear of finding out the worst, that we are unlovable or unworthy or not good enough. In truth, we find liberation and peace when we galvanize the courage to “jouney” within. We hope this article will encourage you to explore your shadow and reap the many benefits!

In traditional weather lore, if a groundhog emerges from its burrow and fails to see its shadow because the weather is cloudy, winter will soon end. If the groundhog sees its shadow because the weather is bright and clear, it will be frightened and run back into its hole, and the winter will continue for six more weeks.

So often when we see our own shadow we retreat. It’s scary and uncomfortable. The shadow symbolizes the parts of ourselves, albeit wounded, that we most dislike. We’d prefer not to think about them. Like the groundhog, our shadow side frightens us; it represents our vulnerability, our negative tendencies we’d rather people (and ourselves) not know about us. Like our fellow creature, the groundhog, we have our own hideouts where we recoil.

And do you remember the movie “Groundhog Day?” The main character, played by Bill Murray, was forced to live the same day over and over (i.e.patterns) until he came to accept it. Our shadow represents those hidden parts that we believe to be unacceptable. Embracing all of who we are, including our “dark side,” allows concealed gifts to emerge. Here are some transformational ideas for accessing and healing our “shadow side”:

1. Darkness does not respond to anger or hatred. It simply responds to the presence of light. Self-acceptance is key to liberation. You can’t hate something enough to make it go it away. Clear seeing + Compassion = Self-acceptance.

2.The more the shadow is ignored, the stronger it seems to get! Avoidance and denial block our growth.Acknowledgement facilitates a weakening of the shadow’s grip on our psyche.

3. The shadow has an opposite to consider. If you embrace your “dark side,” you permit its contrary characteristic (gift) to emerge. e.g. embracing rage and impulsive anger lends the way to tenderness and peace.

Good Therapy, with an unconditionally loving therapist can provide wonderful healing results in facing and managing our shadow.

©Copyright 2007 Dennis P. Buttimer, M.Ed., CEAP
All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Dennis and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Written by Irene Oudyk-Suk, MSW, RSW

Click here to contact Irene and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

My husband sent me a text message recently. It read, “237 glubs for you.” I have no idea what a glub is. But I smiled anyway! I sent him a message back: “237 x 4.5 glubs back to you.” We’ve been sending each other silly glub messages ever since.

My husband’s glub message was a bid for connection. I could have ignored his message, or been less positive in my response. I confess that often I do ignore or lightly pass over my husband’s connection bids. After all I’m a busy person.

Ignoring a connection bid or responding to a connection bid by changing the subject isn’t always intentional. Given the demands of work, family, exercise goals, commutes, community activities, church involvement and kids games, a positive response to a partner’s glub is understandably overlooked.

Marital researcher John Gottman has found that the masters of marriage don’t ignore bids for connection. Marriage masters frequently turn to their partners with a bid for connection and their partners respond positively to those connection bids.

Another possible response to a bid for connection is a hostile response. Naturally a plethora of hostile responses to connection bids are poison for a relationship.

But the most surprising finding in Dr. Gottman’s research is the effect of neutral responses to connection bids. A pattern of consistently bland or neutral responses to connection bids pointed to a marriage disaster in the making.

So the next time your partner sends a glub your way don’t respond by asking about the laundry. Send a glub back. Better yet, send a glub x 4.5 back.

©Copyright 2007 Irene Oudyk-Suk, MSW, RSW
All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Irene and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Written by Rod Louden, LMFT

Millions of singles across the world are looking to create relationship bliss. It takes time. It requires energy. It mandates desire. A lot of people have all that. What they don’t have is a valid and reliable Roadmap to Relationship Success. Whether they’re accessing Yahoo Maps or their personal database—if the information used to create a Roadmap is faulty, they’ll end up lost. If you’re single and feeling lost, here are five easy steps that you can take toward creating your dream relationship… (more…)

Written by Noah Rubinstein, LMFT, LMHC

Dear Friends,

GoodTherapy.org received an email today from a therapist concerned about one of the principles of good therapy: collaboration. I was surprised at first, but after reading her email I could see the validity of her concern and how she could be led to it by the way the definition was written. She was concerned that working collaboratively might retraumatize a person. I believe she was equating collaboration with total non-direction. I wrote her back to clarify. I thought I would copy my email here so others with similar concerns could be reassured, and so we could have a forum about it if people want to. Below is my email and better approximation to the spirit of collaboration. I hope you will add your wisdom to the discussion.

Hi Anonymous Therapist,
Your email is a gift to me… I can see how the idea of collaboration, as written on GT might mislead people into thinking collaboration is something it is not. I hope this email will begin to clarify to you what collaboration means for me and for others who work similarly. Although I have not had anyone else contact us with a similar concern, there may be others, and so perhaps I will update the definition on the website. Or actually, I may add another principle which I’ve been meaning to for a long time: Safety. Collaboration does not preclude safety…as you are concerned about… Anyhow, my thoughts are a bit scattered tonight as I’m tired from a long day… But I know if I don’t respond now other things will preoccupy me.

I hope this helps. I’m open to dialoging about this if you want. Also, I’m thinking I may add this to the blog as way to open a forum about it. I look forward to hearing from you and thanks again, Noah :)

Written by Jeffrey Chernin Ph.D., Lic. MFT

Click here to contact Jeffrey and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

If you are considering therapy, I’d like to dispel a few myths and offer you some ideas to consider in finding the right therapist for you. Of the myths, probably the hardest one to overcome is that to be strong means to be able to solve problems on your own. Paradoxically, however, admitting your weaknesses and asking for help is a sign of strength.

Another myth is that mental health professionals do something to make people change. As great as this would be, individuals are ultimately responsible for making their own changes. Therapists help clients make the changes they desire.

A third myth is that therapy can be accomplished in a few sessions. While some problems are eased by short-term therapy, most people gain by having a longer therapy experience. A large survey by Consumer Reports (October, 2004) noted that overall the longer people stayed in therapy, the more they improved. People who stayed for more than six months reported greater gains than those who left earlier.

Survey respondents said that therapy helped in three major ways:

• Eased the presenting problems
• Helped them to function better
• Enhanced personal growth. This growth included better self-esteem, more confidence, and enjoyment from life

Another part of functioning better is developing insight into unconscious thoughts and motivations. Some thoughts are automatic, and we need to slow them down in order to fully understand them. Slowing thoughts down changes brain chemistry is similar to meditation or yoga. In fact, several studies have shown that long-term therapy is as effective as medication for treating depression and anxiety.

When entering therapy, therapists should welcome questions, such as education level, experience, and type of therapy. A therapist may not answer all personal questions, but he or she should explore the meaning behind the questions. A consultation or the first session is a good time to ask questions you have.

After one or two sessions, you should be feeling pretty comfortable about opening up. If you don’t feel comfortable, bring it up in session. If your therapist becomes defensive, continue your search. If not, maybe the two of you just aren’t the best fit. In either case, a discussion is a good way to look at what’s going on.

Look for certain qualities in selecting a therapist. It should be someone who:

• Considers your individual needs
• Encourages you to voice any concerns
• Is licensed and had good credentials
• Points out options and possibilities but never tells you what to do
• Is able to form a respectful, professional relationship

Over the course of therapy, the major focus should be on you. Therapists should talk very little about their personal lives, and even then it should be with an intention to be helpful. Practitioners should not talk about their current problems or spend time with you outside of sessions. Even though we sometimes feel like we live in a small town, that’s no reason to be invited by your therapist to social events or for your therapist to attend yours.

Because you’re delving into very personal areas and have found someone who understands you, it’s not unusual to develop feelings for your therapist. If you do, your therapist should help you sort out and understand your feelings.

He or she will never mention a reciprocal attraction – this is a red flag and you should contact another therapist for a second opinion. Also, think about asking your therapist for a referral if you cannot give up your attraction and find yourself hiding personal issues in order to “look good.” In any case, a qualified therapist remains professional at all times and you can either try to work through these feelings on your own (as many clients do) or bring it up for discussion.

Sometimes people are reluctant to enter therapy because they fear it will be painful. Although there are times when it may be uncomfortable, therapy – like crying – actually helps release the pain. And releasing pain is only a slice of how a therapist can help you. As you address the issues that brought you into therapy, it presents you with the possibility for better coping skills and greater self-esteem as well as much growth and discovery.

©Copyright 2007 Jeffrey Chernin, Ph.D., Lic. MFT
All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry. Click here to contact Jeffrey and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Written by Mitchell Milch, LCSW

Click here to contact Mitchell and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

For many single parents casual dating is frustrating and annoying. Looking for a new partner however, can be downright frightening. In fact many single parents who are gun shy after divorce go in one of two directions. They either convince themselves they are better off not going beyond getting their feet wet at best or they deny and minimize their fears and make reckless plunges. Why you may ask? Well, the chronically painful realities of divorce that involve children may be likened to having a chronic and debilitating illness like arthritis. Instead of periodic flare ups of painful inflammation of muscles and joints we are left dealing with periodic flare ups of our children’s painful struggles to come to terms with our divorces, flare ups of our own painful struggles to come to terms with divorce and episodic painful dealings with our divorced spouses. The evolution and stabilization of split off family units do not come about without mourning obsolete family units and coping with individual and systemic growing pains.

Furthermore, many of us after unsuccessful marriages have our self esteem wounded, experience guilt over making our kids victims of decisions that didn’t work out, may begin to doubt our abilities to choose appropriate partners and even delude ourselves into believing we are entitled to and can realistically expect to forge intimate and satisfying relationships without risking disappointments and rejections. Have you endured all the discouragement you can take in one paragraph? Good, now I can resurrect your hopes for a happier outcome the second time around with my dating tips for single parents. (more…)

Written by Irene Oudyk-Suk, MSW, RSW

Click here to contact Irene and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Think back to the last fight you had with your spouse. Put aside the “what” you were fighting about and zero in on how you felt. Were you “flooded” with intense emotion? Did you feel physically overwhelmed? Were your muscles tense, your palms sweaty? Was your heart pounding, your face hot and flushed? Was it difficult to think clearly? Did you attack your partner in a manner you later regretted?

It was almost as if you were face to face with a saber-toothed tiger!

And in fact, your body was reacting as if your partner was a man-(or woman) eating tiger. As conflict escalates, your brain automatically floods the body with adrenalin and other hormones to prepare you to either fight or flee. Reason and logic fly out the window. After all, when it comes to a dangerous tiger, common sense takes second place to survival.

But, of course, your spouse is not a saber-toothed tiger. And when you and your partner find yourself in this situation, no resolution is possible until you get over the “fight or flee” reaction to conflict.

Marital researcher Dr. John Gottman recommends that couples both learn to recognize the physical signs of emotional flooding, and agree ahead of time to take at least a twenty-minute break when they sense such flooding. Why? Because it takes at least 20 minutes for the fight or flee hormones to subside once the body no longer senses danger. The break works even better if you do something relaxing instead of rehearsing how you will take up the argument again.

Once your body has returned to normal, find your partner and continue the discussion. If your partner has also calmed down you will be in a much better position to have a productive conversation instead of an argument.

©Copyright 2007 Irene Oudyk-Suk, MSW, RSW
All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry.
Click here to contact Irene and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Written by Tracy Becker, LPC

“Everyone speaks on it, yet who has known it?” ~Suzanne Curchod Necker (1739-1794)

When I first thought of writing about bliss, I thought no problem, this is easy enough. Yet the more I thought about bliss the more doubt I developed. Sure I’ve had, what I call, blissful moments and experiences, yet what do I really know about BLISS? Thus began the past several months’ adventure of asking others what their thoughts and experiences are with bliss.

Bliss has been described to me as times when we are able to be present in the moment, a feeling of resting in a Big Aaaahhh, a heart filled full and overflowing with love for another, being awed by the beauty and tranquility of nature, and an overall sense of wellbeing. Everyone I spoke to felt that bliss is not lasting. One can experience bliss in moments like when you fall into your bed, with fresh clean sheets, after a long and fulfilling day. Others have experienced bliss that last hours and at times days. For example, an evening spent in love and laughter with trusted friends, or while on a spiritual retreat where your body, mind and spirit are constantly being nurtured and renewed. My friend Wendy says that bliss exists anytime she remembers to connect with it. While Mangala, being raised in the Buddhist country of Sri Lanka, says that bliss is everywhere all the time, one just needs a conscious moment to find it. Some believe that bliss is fleeting because we as humans couldn’t comprehend a constant state of bliss. While others say blissful experiences are more meaningful because they are short lived, i.e., without darkness one can not appreciate the light. Yet overall people shared that bliss is a feeling of being connected: connected in a spiritual sense (to God, Spirit, Self and nature); connected to loved ones (including our pets); and the connection parents feel toward their children are all ways we tap into bliss… (more…)

Written by Jared Maloff Psy.D.

Click here to contact Jared and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Parenting has often been referred to as life’s most difficult job, and it seems as though in recent years, this job has become increasingly more rigorous. Technological developments in recent years have given rise to novel methods for children and adults to access information. Many of these advancements are aimed specifically at the youth culture, though are responsible for a gradual transformation of the entire culture at large. Adults however, often seem a step slow in recognizing the magnitude that these new innovations will have upon all of our lives and the lives of today’s children.

In the United States in general, but especially here in Los Angeles, the media is extremely influential in our lives. Today, given the meteoric rise in the accessibility of new technology, more information is currently available for public consumption than at any other time in history. Children and adolescents are especially impressionable and often crave what Heinz Kohut termed “selfobjects” in order to help cope with the psychological rigors of youth. This hunger for connection to someone or something that feels bigger than one’s self is a normal psychological process, however in today’s media dominated culture in Los Angeles, pre-teens and adolescents seem especially vulnerable to potentially destructive influences… (more…)

Written by Elizabeth Mahaney, MA, MHC, MFT

Click here to contact Elizabeth and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Abstract
Feminist Therapy focuses on empowering women and helping them discover how to break the stereotypes and molds of some traditional roles that women play that may be blocking their development and growth. This type of therapy grew out of influences of the women’s movement of the late 1960’s. Feminist therapy tends to be more focused on strengthening women in areas such as assertiveness, communication, relationships, and self esteem. One of the main goals of feminist therapists is to develop equal mutual relationships of caring and support. The therapist believes that her client is the only “expert” in her own issues and will help her develop the tools needed to reach her potential as a unique and valuable individual. There are six main tenets of feminist therapy theory with five main principles. It is important to realize that feminist therapy is not just for women but men can benefit as well. Furthermore, there is a notion in feminist therapy that “personal is political”. This notion means that personal experiences are embedded in political situations, contexts, and realities.

Feminist Therapy
Feminist psychology grew from the influences of the women’s movement of the 1960’s. This movement was a grassroots one; therefore, no one particular theorist can be named the originator of feminist therapy. Feminists tried to keep elements of other psychological theories that worked but attempted to get rid of sexist aspects of the theories. They then tried to explain some of the common experiences and difficulties associated with the social roles that women endure that may be blocking their growth and development. The focus is mainly on helping women in areas such as assertiveness, communication, self-esteem, and relationships. Feminist therapy also focuses on empowering women by helping them see the impact of gender issues. The aim of therapy is change rather then adjustment. It is important to acknowledge sex roles, minority status and socialization in society as possible sources or causes of psychological difficulties. A core concept is equality; therefore, the therapist is seen as equal in the relationship with an outside perspective who provides guidance and new information but the client is seen as having the power to create his or her own desired outcome in themselves and their lives. Reclaiming personal power is a key concept. A task of the therapist is to help individuals explore and understand what is causing dysfunction and unhappiness and then to help develop strategies to overcome these difficulties… (more…)

Written by Pamela Simmons, LPC, LPC-S

Click here to contact Pamela and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

A love affair can be a wondrous thing unless one is presently married. Though it may be an enjoyable experience for the unfaithful spouse, it is a disillusioning experience for the betrayed spouse. Many very difficult questions arise if the couple decides that they would like to recover and live productively after the affair. Step one is to stop all contact with the lover and begin the healing process at home; healing can happen, but it involves teamwork and takes time. Ups and downs are normal and to be expected. Just as things are looking up, a reminder of the affair can happen and create a downward spiral… (more…)

Written by Karen Golob, CCDC, CAMF, CH

Listening can be difficult. It requires us to tune into more than the actual words and includes gestures, body language and the ability to focus our attention and concentration on someone other than ourselves.

How often have you talked to someone on the phone and realized that they were multi-tasking and preoccupied during the conversation.
Were they really listening? Probably not.

Are you someone who occasionally tunes out when taking to another person because you are anxious to come up with your opinion and thoughts? Are you really listening? Probably not.

Do you tend to occasionally tune out when someone is talking to you and do not hear what was said because your mind drifts to something totally unrelated? Are you really listening? Absolutely not.

There are four key communication skills for improving interpersonal relations that require listening. They are: (more…)

Written by Greg Madison, PhD

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The modern term ‘bereavement’ originates from an Old English word meaning ‘to rob’. In contemporary society, bereavement can refer to any great loss, but it commonly refers to the death of a loved one. ‘Mourning’ refers to the various public displays of bereavement; funeral ceremonies, wakes, visiting cemeteries to put flowers on graves, memorial services on anniversaries etc. ‘Grieving’ refers to the psychological component of bereavement, the feelings human beings have when a loved person dies. Since Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross published her seminal book ‘On Death And Dying’ in 1969, it has been assumed that coming to terms with death has five distinct phases; denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Health care professionals believed that anyone bereaved or facing their own death should move through these phases, one at a time, but potentially a person could get ‘stuck’ at any stage, impeding the ‘resolution’ of their grieving process. The above view assumed that while each bereaved person may feel things in somewhat different ways, everyone’s bereavement process was essentially the same.

It is now accepted that human beings are far more complicated than that. After years of dealing with patients who did not conform neatly to this view of distinct phases, psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors and psychotherapists, began to change their assumptions. It is now recognised that each person experiences bereavement in his or her own way and every bereavement will have its own unique process. A bereaved person might move back and forth between denial, anger, sadness, fear, and guilt many times a day and never reach ‘resolution’ in Kubler-Ross’s sense. The way bereavement is experienced depends not only upon personality: a person’s individual sensitivities, the way a person typically responds to crises and loss, but also upon the circumstances of the death and the relationship the bereaved person had to the person who has died. It can also be affected by how much we are supported by others and by how much other stress we have in our lives at the time. (more…)