Resolving Conflict and Repairing Relationships

Presented by Cedar Barstow, MEd, CHT on 12-06-2013 at 9 a.m. Pacific

Handling conflicts, misunderstandings, and relationship difficulties is often challenging, stressful, and painful. Relationship repair can be even more frustrating and messy in relationships where power differences come into play, as may be the case between person in therapy and therapist, teacher and student, or boss and employee. Is there anyone who doesn't have at least one story about a boss or an employee who was impossible or hurtful?

In this conference, we will focus on a number of issues related to resolving conflict, including identifying functional and dysfunctional strategies, looking at the relationship between conflict and trauma, understanding how conflict escalates and how to intervene, learning how to track for signs of conflict early on, and using a five-step process for resolving and repairing from both the "down-power" role and the "up-power" role. Resolving conflict and repairing relationships is a high art and skill well worth learning.

Please be prepared to include some self-study practices that you will be invited to share with others in the class. As an experiential educator, I have a strong conviction that for the study of this topic (and others), personal self-study experience and practical processes produce the most usable learnings.

This web conference is intermediate instructional level and designed to help clinicians:

  1. Prepare to use the five-step method for resolving and repairing relationship difficulties;
  2. List three conflict-avoiding habits and three conflict-managing habits;
  3. Recognize the relationship between conflict and trauma and the three nervous systems;
  4. Identify six signals or indicators of relationship difficulties;
  5. Describe the concept of down-power leadership.

If you have any questions about this web conference or would like more information, please contact us here.

How the Web Conference Works

In short, participants will be able to listen to the event by calling in to our teleconference center. Prior to the event, all participants will be sent an email with instructions on how to login to the teleconference center. This event will include lecture and question-and-answer periods.

394CE hours and counting!

All are available to members at no additional cost.

Continuing Education (CE) Information

Two CE credits will be provided by for attending this web conference in its entirety. is also an Approved Education Provider by NAADAC, The Association for Addiction Professionals (provider #135463). Of the eight counselor skill groups ascribed to by NAADAC, this course is classified within counseling services. is an NBCC-Approved Continuing Education Provider (ACEPTM) and may offer NBCC-approved clock hours for events that meet NBCC requirements. is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. maintains responsibility for this program and its content., SW CPE is recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Social Work as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed social workers #0395. 

Registration Information

This web conference is available at no cost to members.

This event has already taken place. An audio recording for this event may be available in the Member's Area.


[M]y definition of power is the ability to have an effect or to have influence. Of course, that’s what we all need and want—the ability to have an effect and to have an influence . . . . Power is often experienced as something scary or to be avoided or to be overused, but the ‘right use of power’ is any use of power that’s used for the common good and for healing and for moving relationships forward. - Cedar Barstow, MEd, CHT

[There are] five things that most people need in order to feel resolved about problems, or clear enough to let go of a relationship consciously rather than in anger. And this isn’t a prescription, but it’s a set of attitudes and suggestions. And clients may need one, or they may need all, or three, or two of them, and so you don’t need to make any conflict bigger than it is. [T]he first is acknowledgment . . . . [T]he second thing they want is understanding . . . . And then the third is regret . . . . [T]he fourth is learning. . . . And the fifth thing they want is repair. - Cedar Barstow, MEd, CHT

Event Reviews from Members

The five-step method was so clear and concise and user-friendly. - Robyn D'Angelo, LMFT

Meet the Presenter

Cedar Barstow, MEd, CHT

Cedar Barstow, MEd, CHT

Cedar Barstow, MEd, CHT, is the Founder and Executive Director of the Right Use of Power Institute whose mission is to help people own and use their personal and professional power with strength, heart, and skill. Right Use of Power is an ethics program that Cedar originally developed for people in the helping professions. She and her husband, Reynold Ruslan Feldman, have just published a new book that brings right use of power ideas to all people interested in power: Living in the Power Zone: How Right Uses of Power Can Transform Your Relationships. Cedar also authored Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics—A Resource for the Helping Professional. Her books and a calendar for her programs are available from her website.

Cedar is the Ethics Topic Expert for and has published many articles on's blog. She serves as a consultant in ethics, as a teacher of right use of power programs throughout the world, and as a Hakomi Psychotherapy trainer. Cedar lives in Boulder, Colorado.

Continuing Education Provider Approvals

  • ace is Approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. maintains responsibility for this program and its content. APA approval applies to all events listed after May 2011.
  • Logo has been approved by NBCC as an Approved Continuing Education Provider, ACEP No. 6380. Programs that do not qualify for NBCC credit are clearly identified. is solely responsible for all aspects of the programs.
  • Logo
    This course has been approved by, as a NAADAC Approved Education Provider, for educational credits. NAADAC Provider #135463. is responsible for all aspects of their programming.
  • ace, provider #1352, is approved as a provider for social work continuing education by the Association of Social Work Boards (ASWB) through the Approved Continuing Education (ACE) Program. maintains responsibility for the program. ASWB Approval Period: 03/30/2016 – 03/30/2019. Social workers should contact their regulatory board to determine course approval for continuing education credits. Social workers participating in this course will receive 2 clinical continuing education clock hours.
  •, SW CPE is recognized by the New York State Education Department's State Board for Social Work as an approved provider of continuing education for licensed social workers #0395.