My Approach to Helping
I do not try to encapsule a client in a label, but rather meet him or her as an absolutely unique human being. I respond to the pain or the problem they present with whatever tools or methods I think will most help the client to resolving the issue. When dealing with a couple who find their relationship on the edge of termination, I am always delighted to help them see their present struggle as the growing pains into a new and more rewarding marriage. My own experience of a twenty six year marriage,( ended when perfectly healthy wife died of cerebral aneurysm), my single parenting then of the four youngest children and the four already living independently, and my marriage after ten years of widowerhood, provide me with a wealth of experience regarding family life, healthy marriages, parenting, grief...some of which I shared in my books, DVD's and videos. My ten months spent in combat in the Korean War give me some basis for helping others cope with the stresses they are enduring. I delight in "graduating" clients who feel we have worked the change they needed.
More Info About My Practice
Though I was once a "preferred provider" for a major insurance company, I dropped them because they were intruding on my client's privacy, were requiring more and more paperwork and paying less and less for the work done. Now I simply provide a statement of account to my clients who can then handle their insurance claims. My normal fee is 125.00 for a normal session of one hour and fifteen minutes. Having lectured around the world, it is not uncommon that some of my clients come great distances and we structure their sessions to meet their needs. Some clients have booked half day sessions, some have booked five days of sessions, etc.
My Role as a Therapist
I see myself as the more experienced client in the room. I do not try to encapsule my clients in some theoretical framework, but to meet them where they are, as they are, and seek to help them work through the pain or the problem that is besetting them.
What Makes up a Problem?
The DNA recombinate factor ensures that we are at birth absolutely unique, one of a kind, human beings, never to be duplicated even were the population of the globe increased tenfold. That is the given. However, from the moment we got the breathing thing under control and began to respond to the world outside the womb, we began to create ourselves. That creation of ourselves is an ongoing task. It is the result of how we choose to respond to the \"stuff\" that hits us. The choices we make , make us. My response, very often, to a client who declares \"I\'m depressed\" is to ask: \"And how are you depressing yourself?\" This response often is met with a surprised \"Me?\"
\"Well, there are only two of us in the room, and you\'re the one who is depressed. What are you telling yourself that makes you depressed?\"
Of course, if one is suffering a grievous loss, the death of a loved one, then one is sad, grief-stricken. That\'s normal.
But, for many people, their depression is created by their inner attitudes. The client who comes in with anxiety problems may very well be permitting childhood experiences to dominate their adult lives. If that is the case, then we begin by working on not letting the child rule the adult.