WSU Researcher Asks if Bad Behavior is Driven by Peers
October 21st, 2009 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Headline
The possible reasons for scolding a child or other person when observing bouts of bad behavior are the subject of a new study carried out at Washington State University. The study sought to understand why situations in which bad behaviors are present can yield different results. Through a series of scenarios the research found that being alone or with disparate groups of people tends to produce a disinterest in becoming involved, whereas being around tightly-knit groups of peers was shown to be far more conducive to reprimanding action against bad behavior. The research may offer insight into human interactions, especially within complex social groups.
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8 comments so far
Heck, I sure know parents like that! They let their kids run wild when there’s no one around to see it that might disapprove like teachers, other parents or in-laws. When these witness are there the kids get hell over something they would have got away with if it had just been them and the parent.
That describes an old friend of mine to a T. Her mother was very snobbish and believed in keeping kids on an extremely tight leash. My friend didn’t. She didn’t want her mother to know that though. When her mother was around, her boy could hardly breathe without getting into trouble. Grandma used to lament about how he couldn’t possibly be starting the fights at school because he was well disciplined.
The truth was the kid did what he liked when Grandma wasn’t around and caused trouble every chance he had. His mother didn’t care as long as he was free to express himself unlike she was. It was all very dysfunctional.
So what’s the priority in the parent’s eyes? Sadly the parents appear more concerned about saving face in front of people who know them than addressing what the real problem is with the child.
I feel sorry for the children when keeping up appearances matters more than they do.
It is true that a person behaves differently when nobody is watching and when there are people around him. A person who seems to be a gentleman in a meeting does not necessarily behave in the same manner when alone or with his friends. It is natural. But the level of difference is what matters and is what is different in different people.
Let us consider the example of road-rage by youngsters. While in a group, they are more prone to get into road-rage and probably commit a crime. Now, if it was just one of them, the chances of commiting road-rage, and more importantly a crime, are extremely low and may even be zero. This shows that a person’s behaviour is surely dependant on the peer-group.
No wonder children are so confused!! A friend of mine is in an interreligious marriage and the kids do one thing at home and another in front of their grandparents. Its not the same thing but obviously adult hypocrisy affects children big time!!
I feel sorry for the kids in situations like this too. If they are not shown consistency in behavior and how certain behaviors will be dealt with then it is no surprise that they don’t really have a clue as to how to behave. Who knows how mom wants you to act in front of her, and then the very same things that you are allowed to do at home you are then punished for if you act them out in front of others. I have always maintained that the best model for kids is to just be consistent and that will help them to more easily learn what behavior is acceptable in society and what is not. I am no paremt of the year but I can promise you that this can make a big difference.
Most parents teach their kids many good virtues but themselves fail to follow and practice them. This has a weird effect on the innocent mind because he hears one thing but sees a different thing in action.