There are many models of therapy to choose from. We believe there are a handful of common denominators present in all forms of “good therapy.” These elements are described below:

Non-pathologizing

Viewing a person as greater than his or her problems is the hallmark of non-pathologizing therapy. It does not mean problems do not exist; it means NOT viewing the problems as the whole person or the whole person as the problems. Working non-pathologically does not negate pathology, it depathologizes it. So for example, rather than labeling a person who’s angry as an angry person, non-pathologizing therapy views one’s anger as just an aspect of the person, but not all of who the person is. We do justice to a person’s true nature when we remember that behind the layers of protection, no matter how self-destructive or hurtful to others one has been, there is a lovable and vulnerable soul at the very core.

Empowering

Empowering therapists maintain the belief that people can grow, heal, and transform. This hope is held no matter how intense one’s defenses and wounds are. People can heal if they want to and if they can contribute to their own growth whatever is sufficient and necessary to that end. When a therapist views a person as fundamentally flawed or incapable of change, the person is more likely to feel and become flawed. Yet, one is more likely to discover one’s true nature when therapy sees beyond wounds and defenses. Some people may not heal in this lifetime, but let the therapist not be an additional barrier to whatever other obstacles may be presenting.

Collaborative

Collaborative therapy can be established when a therapist encourages a client to become the co-therapist. Therapists who work collaboratively trust the client to know herself (or have the potential to know herself) better than anyone else, and trust the client to know what issues to address and what direction to go in therapy. This orientation puts the client in the driver’s seat of therapy. The spirit of collaborative therapy is summarized in the words of Albert Schweitzer who once wrote, “Each patient carries his own doctor inside him…. We are at our best when we give the doctor who resides within each patient a chance to go to work.”

Self

Self is a state of being that a therapist can embody when with his or her clients. It’s defined by Richard Schwartz and IFS therapy as a state of calm, curiosity, compassion, creativity, confidence, courage, connectedness, and clarity. Self is considered a requisite of good therapy because it is this state that allows a therapist to work collaboratively without pushing, without pathologizing, and without re-traumatizing. For more information on Self please visit the Center for Self Leadership.

Relationship

Beyond technique and theory is the realm of the relationship: the ongoing human-to-human connection which provides the foundation for change. The relationship is the safe container which allows one to more fully and completely feel the presence of Self while in the presence of another. The therapeutic relationship benefits from a therapist who embodies Self and feels an unconditional positive regard in the face of whatever the client may be experiencing. Without a therapeutic relationship there is no therapy.

Depth

Good therapy often times needs to go deep. There seems to be a split in the mental health field between approaches that emphasize cognitive solutions and those that emphasize emotional or body-oriented healing. Both are important. However, our experience is that healing takes more than insight about a problem, cognitive countering, and surface behavior change. Rather than turning away from, countering, or compensating for our suffering, healing requires an exploration into the depth of the wounds that fuel extreme beliefs, feelings, and behaviors. To “counter and turn away from” is more of the same and only leads to more suffering. Also, healing requires feeling; as it is often said, “If we can feel it, we can heal it.” Many of our extreme beliefs, feelings, and behaviors are maintained because we have, in an effort to survive, avoided the wounds, pain, and burdens which lurk beneath. Good therapy helps one to process and complete whatever hidden and unhidden wounds one has harbored. Treatment without going deep can be like stitching up a wound without taking the bullet out; it’s more likely to remain sore and require ongoing attention. “Enlightenment consists not merely in the seeing of luminous shapes and visions, but in making the darkness visible. The latter procedure is more difficult and therefore, unpopular.” ~ Carl Jung

Sometimes We Can’t Help

We are limited. We greet our clients with great hope. We have spent countless hours studying our trade, doing our own inner work, mastering our technique, and learning to “Be” with our clients. We have parts of ourselves that want to do good work. We are compelled to help others release burdens and cope with suffering because we know how good it feels to do so. Yet, there are times we can’t help. We believe a good therapist never gives up hope that a person can heal in this lifetime, but also recognizes that he or she may not be the one to help, that the time may not be right, or that the client may not be ready, and that, for whatever reason, one may never do the work we envision them doing. Good Therapy means letting go of expectations and outcomes for ourselves and for the people we work with, though without giving up.

If there is a principle of “good” therapy which you’d like to suggest, please feel free to share your ideas with us. Click here to view the models of therapy list.

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